If it was your wedding, and you invited a close cousin to come to it, and they decide not to come because: 1. They don't like the way your wedding is being held and 2. They didn't like the way they were invited to the wedding. Would you go to their wedding when they get married?
2007-10-21 16:22:30 · 16 answers · asked by TaDaa! 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Two wrongs don't make a right. I wouldn't skip the wedding out of spite for what they did. If I wanted to go to the wedding, I would be the bigger person and go. No sense in holding a grudge against family.
2007-10-21 16:27:36 · answer #1 · answered by petunia0384 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ya know, I'll be honest here, it would depend on the WHOLE situation.
My reasonable mind agrees with the majority... don't base your decision out of spite.
BUT... My Uncle and 5 cousins decided to not even RSVP for my wedding. When my mom inquired... they said they were basically boycotting my wedding because I didn't invite one of my Aunts. The aunt that I did not invite is severly schizophrenic (literally). She is incapable of behaving properly in social settings. She has a mental disability that prevents her from understanding how to behave. That aside.... it's NOT their place to tell me who to invite or not invite. Just send in your RSVP and leave the rest out.
Their reason was stupid. NONE of THEM invited her their wedding. Why the double standard? So for me, I'd probably go and not bring a gift.... unless I had to travel. Then I just wouldn't go.
So, while the right answer is not to be spiteful... the reality is that we are human. Find the balance that works for your situation.... without looking bad (*wink wink*)
2007-10-21 17:05:07 · answer #2 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. But I probably wouldn't have invited them in the first place. And I don't like most of the people in my family. I only went to my cousin's weddings when I was younger because my parents made me. Frankly, I think that family is overrated, and I would prefer to spend holidays at home with my parents instead of with cousins who think I'm their niece (not kidding). Sorry guys. And if they didn't come to my wedding for some really stupid reasons like that, I would be extremely happy that they didn't come anyway. Regardless, I wouldn't go. I guess I'm not interested in being a bigger person, but oh well. Too bad. Having said all that, I'd probably still send a gift, just to appease my other relatives. And make them think I'm not completely rude. (Like them.)
2007-10-21 16:38:37 · answer #3 · answered by Freke 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay, enough of this bigger person stuff, although don't just not go just to be spiteful. Think about it.
Two questions
***1: Do you want to go? Or not?
Does it sound like a fun time?
Will you see people there that you want to see?? (other than the bride and groom)
Personally, If it sounds like a drag to go, don't go and I think you have earned yourself a "get out of jail free" card on the guilt.
If it sounds like fun, sure. Free food!
However, here is where the bigger person comes it. Make a polite refusal. You are so sorry, but it just isn't going to work out for you to come, and you hope them the best. You don't have to be as rude as they.
****2: What kind of family drama would it create if YOU didn't go?
Would it make a situation worse for your mom/dad/grandparents, etc.?
Would it hurt the feelings of a close aunt, etc.?
If that would be the case, then do the right thing and go. If not for the cousin's sake, for their sake. And buy them something really crappy not on their registry and eats lots of food :) LOL!
2007-10-21 17:30:46 · answer #4 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the earlier, my sentiments exactly, why do you want to stoop to a low level, be the bigger person and attend the wedding. Most probably when you go to congratulate them, they may....I repeat MAY feel a twinge of guilt for what was done earlier.
Being their wedding day, no hard feelings are meant to be passed to them so just go with a sincere heart and mind and in the end you will shine. Hope it helps :)
2007-10-21 16:36:06 · answer #5 · answered by harsh_g 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be the bigger and better person and go to their wedding. You don't have to pay the same way they paid you. It's not worth being mad at your own family, if they where closed minded about your wedding, then that's their problem, prove to them that you are a better person that they are, and have fun at the wedding.
2007-10-21 16:30:47 · answer #6 · answered by Butterflies 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do a tit for tat, life is too short. Be the better person and attend their wedding and wear a smile as wide as a river. Be gracious and give them hugs telling them how wonderful the wedding was and how beautiful she looks. Ingratiating people with sugar and honey is better than remaining bitter and ugly. If anything, you will confuse them and make them wonder why they were so nasty! Payback can be sweet!
2007-10-21 16:32:48 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would attend their wedding even if they had done that to me and my husband. Why not? Why stoop to their level and act like children on the playground? You hit me, I'll hit you back. That doesn't do any good. Just go and smile, say congratulations and be happy for them. Be the bigger person. :o)
2007-10-21 16:29:27 · answer #8 · answered by Blondee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's their wedding, you shouldn't judge how it's being done, etc. Just go, enjoy and be happy for them. Besides, you never know who you might meet. I'd go and have some fun!
2007-10-21 16:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
The fact that they invited you might mean that they want to make up. And even if not, bury the hatchet. Just not in their head, and go.
2007-10-21 16:39:19 · answer #10 · answered by Ra M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋