Why do people make it their business and put down people who have had children before they were married.. Like it's an evil thing.. Would you of rather had the person be in an relationship they didn't want to be in or have the child brought up in violence, or have the father rape the child or beat the child and or the mother.. Why don't you people get a life and stop trying to judge others.. Why are you trying to make other peoples lives your business?
2007-10-21 15:51:27 · 37 answers · asked by babygirlpeanie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
also yes i know it's ideal to be married and I would of loved it. I was going to start a family with the guy i was with until he became abusive and beat me up while i was pregnant. So people before you judge people get the whole story.
2007-10-21 16:09:53 · update #1
O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To these inconsiderate ? ? ? who are telling you that YOU should have kept YOUR legs closed i feel like asking them if they ever POKED it in anyone that wasnt married...or WAS~!
argggggggggggggggggghhhhhhh! those kinda jerks tick me OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!
Ok, i was in the same kinda situation you were, only my kids...SOB....ok this is really bringin tears
My kids were 11 and 12 when i got pregnant by someone who despised me. I decided after 7 agonising months i would marry him after all....I am still crying here folks. I LIVED in SHEER HELL!!!!!!!! I had another baby. that baby died because he would not take me to the hospital. *im high risk*
Next year, another baby, who was breech. he didnt want to take me to hospital AGAIN, so i get behind drivers seat....he finally succumbs , gets in, stops at Post Office!!! writes checks....goes thru construction zones..etc
I almost had this breech baby in the car....he was only a 2 on the Apgar , was blue, rushed to neonatal, was supposed to be C section
OK. because of my jerk x my 8 year old suffers copd, asthma, surgery, etc, but hes alive, they had to break his collar bone, shoulder, etc to get him thru the birth canal, but...he survived. when he was 11 months old, and she was 2, he kidnapped my babies.....yep! the judge ordered them back, but my weekend was HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO let me tell you....you do it by yourself for i suffered and STILL SUFFER to this day. This man has put me thru HELL!!!!!!!! so you dont worry bout what ANYONE says!!! :)
More power to YOU!!!! :)
2007-10-21 17:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had a baby before i was married, i now have two children and been with there dad for nearly six years. When i was pregnant his family was very judgemental as they are religious and believe that people must be married before having kids. WHY? Alot of marriages end up in divorce just because people are married does not mean they are happy and why should they have kids when so many other people are so much happier and can provide a better life for kids they get looked down upon as if they are commiting the greatest sin on earth. Argh it gets me so annoyed. alot more people are having kids without being married all it is is a piece of paper? Unconditional love is love no matter what label you put on it! Live your life don't make anybody but you happy! If others don;t like it tough!
2007-10-21 16:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by top_mumsy 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
That is a very sad fact of life that people don't mind their own business and are too judgemental of others. It is the way society is unfortunately...you only have to look at the media to see an example of this. What sells? Answer: other people's business. Look at Britany Spears.... or Princess Diana. IF there is an article about them in a magazine it sells!
I feel your frustration and agree with you. I too had a child out of wedlock. You are right to do what is best for the child. Other people do not know your reasons for having a child or children and do not have the right to pass judgement on another. Better to have one loving parent than have a violent, abusive or unhappy environment with two parents. Children are our future and must come first.
2007-10-21 15:59:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Good question. Yes it is ideal to get married and have the perfect fairytale but as you said sometimes being married is the wrong choice. I had my child out of wedlock and i hate when people try to judge me. My child has it better then a lot of people my child has 3 people who are family to her. You raise your child to the best of you ability and who cares what others think.
2007-10-21 16:53:30 · answer #4 · answered by lbear 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is human nature to fear what your do not understand. They don't understand someone doing something that is outside their sphere of experience so they fear it. Many children who grow up with only one parent wind up in trouble with the law, but many do not. However, frightened, ignorant people don't hear about the ones who don't get in trouble so they assume, wrongly, that all children born out of wedlock are going to be bad.
It is also human nature to attempt to make others conform to society's norms in an effort to keep the status quo. People fear change as it may lead to the unknown.
It is sad, but all you can do is hold your head up, raise your child to be a good person, and prove the ignorant people wrong.
2007-10-21 16:03:38 · answer #5 · answered by kcpaull 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are so right, on one has a right to judge you, if he was abusive to you, then you did the right thing. In today's society their are more and more single women raising kids on their own and doing a darn good job of it , so don't pay any attention to the negative things people say. It is none of their business anyway.
2007-10-21 18:36:15 · answer #6 · answered by onyx1 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've never had anyone put me down for having my son out of wedlock. Matter of fact I've had a lot of people tell me that they admire how I've handled it, the decisions I've made and how I gave most everything up to stay at home with and not go on welfare or put him in a day care center.
Sorry you are having a hard time at it.
PS I'm not saying what I did was right. It was unfair to my son but he is still a blessing and I won't do it again. Being I won't I do not have sex out of wedlock. The next time I have sex I will be married.
2007-10-21 15:56:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
Don't trip I had a lady tell me I was too young
when I had my child at 19 I said how old were
you she said 38 I replied whatever at least I'm
not gonna be ancient when He graduates.
It was only a comeback I really don't think anyones
age matters its how they parent they are always nosey
and they always think they have the right to touch your belly.
2007-10-21 16:00:35 · answer #8 · answered by soccermom 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you want to have children you should be married but if you fool around before marriage and you get pregnant it's kinda too late to change that. If the marriage is going to be a crappy one then it shouldn't happen. My sis got pregnant with this dumb guy and even though the baby ending up dying after 2 months from SIDs they plan to get married and in their case I think that it is a bad idea.
2007-10-21 15:56:31 · answer #9 · answered by Dani Marie 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Hi- People like this like to dog others in order to make themselves look better. Just consider the source. Remember, you can't change the way people act, you can only change the way you react to them. Good luck and TAKE CARE!
2007-10-21 15:57:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋