At what age is a child able to safely stay home by theirself overnight?

Question

It has became necessary for me to have to leave my 15 year old daughter home overnight by herself one night a week. She is very mature and responsible and I feel that this is okay. My ex husband does not like the idea of this and has threatened to try to get custody of her because of this issue. However, he doesn't even want to have her for his weekend visitations. I've always considered myself a great mom, but his attitude has me second guessing myself. Am I right or wrong?

Answer 1

you are right! im 16 myself and my mom left me at home alone by myself for a day & a half....just keep calling every 2 hours to check on her...its like shes at a friends....with out her friend? lol

Answer 2

You don't say why you have to leave her home alone overnight one day a week. Is it job related? If it is, is there someone, a realative, or friend she can stay with?

I have raised 2 children of my own and 5 stepchildren. I never left any of them along overnight. It wasn't because I didn't feel they couldn't be trusted. It was because of all the other "what if's" my imagination came up with.

What if, the house caught on fire?

What if, someone broke into my home while I was gone?

What if, the child became sick?

What if, there was an emergency and the child was not old enough to drive themselves some where for help?

The world is not a safe place these days.

It's no longer a matter of trusting your children, it's a matter of trusting fate, and all those other people out there who don't give a **** about what happens to your children.

I say no. Don't leave them unsupervised.

Answer 3

By law, at her age, in most states, it is acceptable providing she has contact numbers available to her, it's not longer than 24 hours and has an emergency "what to do" plan.

Unfortunately, for some, it's viewed as morally wrong. It's just the way it is. But if you need something positive to help the ex cope, tell him that babysitters all over the US are babysitting overnight at this age everyday, and since she is old enough to LEGALLY babysit, she should not need a sitter. If he still has issues, throw in the fact that if he were to actually care enough to take his daughter during this time, it would not be an issue.

And word to the wise about his threats for taking you back to court? Give him a three second chuckle and then ask him what court in their right mind would give a child to a father who is to self absorbed to even take her for regular visitation. Then add, "since she's of age to speak her mind in court, I'm sure the judge would love to hear it from her how concerned you truly are". . . and then hang up.

I don't suggest you make your daughter do that, but simply saying that to him (when she's out of ear shot) will be enough to make him stop with the idle threats.

Truth of the matter is hon, that this goes on day in and day out all over the US. One parent without placement seems to think they can tell the other parent exactly how to raise "their" child, while they do nothing on their own for that child. . .or the well being of that child. This is a non-stresser for you. Or at least it should be. He's just trying to ruffle your feathers.

Answer 4

i don't want to come off as rude, but i have a feeling that your 15-year-old wasn't frightened being left alone. let's be realistic. (exception: you live in an unsafe neighborhood, but that doesn't seem like the case here.)
there's nothing wrong with leaving a mature 15-year-old at home if she's in a safe area and you both have a way to get in contact with each other. she'll have her drivers license in a year. is your ex-husband going to try to get custody because you let her drive by herself? i don't think he'll get far with all this, to be honest. judges are pretty reasonable people.
sorry for rambling.. but i definitely think there is nothing wrong with what you're doing. (much) more likely that not, it's good for your daughter because it's helping her be independent.
i'm almost 18, and my parents have been holding my hand my whole life. i wish they had given me more of an opportunity to build my independence.

Answer 5

15 is an ok age if she is as mature as you say.. But how did x find out about it any way? How about the grand mom (on either side) Is this work related or the other thing? If its the other thing then its wrong and you x would have a leg to stand on for custody.. Be exceptonally careful.. Good lucki Grant in Pennsylvania

Answer 6

When my daughter was 15, I would not have a problem leaving her at home alone over night... My son on the other hand, I would not leave at home alone.

If your daughter has a way to get a hold of you and you check on her every so often and she is responsible, I see nothing wrong with leaving her home alone at night.... Hopefully, you live in a safe neighborhood.
I did live in a neighborhood where I would not leave my kids home alone during the day time!

Answer 7

I never ever left my kids alone overnight. How frightening that must have been for her. Next time, take her with you or don't go.

Even great mom's make mistakes and this is yours. However I doubt seriously that your ex stands a chance for custody, she's old enough to decide that herself. Chalk it up to one of those things that happen, frankly its not a big enough deal to even remember in about 20years. However, don't do it again.

Answer 8

you should never have told your ex since he really isnt doing anything to help the situation because if he was really concerned and would take her on his weekend and this one night a week--sorry back to the question---if she feels comfortable with it and you feel she will be safe then try it. she will probably be sleep for most of the hours anyway. a lot of young people think they will be okay with it then find out they are afraid to be home at night alone. maybe a friend's parent would let her stay at their house for the one night a week then everybody would feel more comfortable with adult supervision to take care of all the "what ifs"

Answer 9

I've stayed home with just a friend or just my (9 month older) brother plenty. I live in a very safe city though, and my neighbours check in every once in a while. I stayed with my friend in a guest house (her parents in the main house) for a week at 11,12 and 13. And I've stayed home with just a friend or my brother since I was 13. My mum's completley cool with it, as long as I don't have sex or do drugs or anything like that. My dad doesn't live with us, and I don't give a sh*t about what he thinks.

Answer 10

I would not let my daughter stay alone. See if she can have some one stay with her or a family member. Tell her that you love her and her safety comes first.