Confused (serious responses only pls)?

Question

A few weeks ago, a woman in the neighborhood killed her baby. I didn't know them personally. I just saw them outside once in awhile. When I found out what happened, I couldnt stop crying and thinking about it. I was angry that it happened the way it did, or even happened at all. I try not to think of it now but when I do, I just feel sad, depressed, sick, like life is useless, to put it nicely. I've been told that this woman was sick and has reached out for help but didn't get the help she needed. It still makes me mad that she did it, even when I try to keep her mental status in mind.

I was diagnosed with depression and am on meds/therapy. I tried talking about how it makes me feel but the convo never gets far because I don't feel like I have a right to be this sad. I feel like what happened just set back all the work I've done this past year regarding my depression (diagnosed a yr ago).

Am I wrong for feeling this strongly? What can I do to stop it from setting me back?

Answer 1

no you are not wrong at all.
Look at all the sadness after 911
there were lots of people crying that did not know anyone personally. It's called having compassion. More people could use some. If it continues to make you sad, and you feel like you are regressing in your therapy, by all means make an appointment and talk to your therapist!
But your feelings are normal

Answer 2

I wonder if you're responding so strongly because you recognise that this is what depression can lead a person to, and you're worried that it might do the same to you. I suffered from post partum depression, and whenever I hear a story like this I can only think "there, but by the Grace of God, go I." It's scary to know what a human is capable of, especially if you've felt twinges of that yourself. It does not mean that life is useless, though. It just means that it's that much more important to be kind to others and to become the best person you can be. The energy you put out into the world will have a huge effect on those around you, and may even help to keep things like this from happening again. Try to generate compassion for this woman and her family. It will help you, as well as them. You are in my thoughts.

Answer 3

First of all I am so sorry you have this to deal with...God Bless that innocent Baby

As far as how strongly it is effecting you...I understand the anger and the sadness, it is a very sad thing. I too feel angry whenever I hear about such tragedies And yes you do have the right to feel so strongly about it we all do and should. And maybe if we all paid more attention to each other we may be the one that can stop something bad from happening.
But maybe the best thing for you to do is focus on what you can do to help stop this sort of thing happening again, like maybe join a group to learn how you can help other depressed people. In doing that it may help keep this from just getting more depressed...
I hope this helps a little, I really feel for you, be strong and try to find something positive you can do with it.

Answer 4

People are all affected by things differently and to a different extreme. You have every right to feel the way you do because, quite frankly, it's out of your control. Not because you suffer from depression but because you are a human being. People who cannot feel are at an extreme disadvantage. I have depression issues, too, and things that happen like this always hit me hard, especially if they happen locally.

It's hard to understand how people can do the things that they do to other people. The only way to console yourself is to realize that you don't have to understand, and that you are a great person for loving so much that you cannot understand. Look to God to help you through all the things that are hard and emotionally distressing for you. Think of all the ways that you are blessed, and for this specific tragedy, try to think of all the sorrows that the baby will miss out on.

It may be hard to look past the fact that there are many happy things that child will also miss out on, but it's much better for you to think about the heartaches and sickness and even the mental illness of the mother that this baby will never have to live through.

I'm very sorry for you. I hope that you will soon be at peace with this.

Answer 5

I think the first thing you should do is realize that it is ok to feel so strongly about this. It is a pretty terrible situation and simply because you were not close to them does not mean that you cannot feel badly. You may even be feeling guilty because you saw them and perhaps you feel like you should have done something? I know you could not have but you have to realize this was out of your control and that it is ok to feel bad. I would suggest seeing a therapist if you are not already, definitely one that you feel comfortable speaking with if you have a hard time with it. Were you depressed before this? Perhaps there is more to this than just this incident.

Answer 6

I am sorry you feel so bad. I think I would feel very bad over the killing of this baby, too. I believe I would feel that I could have helped if I had been asked to help. This sadness is not unusual under the circumstances. Try to work through the depression over the baby and stay on your meds. I think given a little time, you will feel better. If you need to, find someone to talk to. That may help you feel better. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

First off, you are normal to think like this. I think that with your condition, it may amplify what you are feeling. Obviously, this woman had a problem, but she didn't get the help she needed becouse she didn't try. You should know this better then myself, since you are smart enough to get help yourself. It is natural to feel sad, and angry about any child being murdered, for thaqt matter, anybody, but a innocent child is worse. When I hear about something like that, I get upset, and want justice done. Even in a male prison, child kieeres, and molesters are targets of the inmates, and alot never get out. As far as you, I am not a professional, but please get the help that you need. Becouse there are many people that care about you. I would also suggest talking to a minister about haw you feel, and not just a psycologist.

Answer 8

It took me a while to work out the connection between the two things you mentioned, but then I saw. Its all about respect really.

You dont respect your life so you cant speak to your councellor about struff, if you dont accept responsibility for taking respect and acting in a decent way, you like many people- like the women who killed her baby, all fall into the same boat, you are simply waiting for someone else to take action cos you dont have the guts to.

I dont think you feel angry cos this women killed her baby as much as you feel angry at the part of her you see in yourself, the part that goes wrong and doesnt take the responsible action of putting ytourself first and acting accordingly. If you dont do the hard work, then bad things happen then other people have to pick up the pieces. Its not really very fair is it?!

The best thing yoiu can do is accept you have a problem (and if the diagnosis doesnt say enough for you, then explain why you are not able to feel happy to get through the day, look forward to the future ahead and smile without screaming/crying/etc inside). By accepting you have a problem, it then lies up to you to decide if you want to get better, not about deserving or earning, but about if you want to feel better. If you do then comes the question, do you respect yourself and the others around you enough to try. If not, then fine, but then dont start nailing other people for thier immoral actions when you refuse also to take action to respect yourself and value your life.

Answer 9

Talk to your therapist or social worker. They are big help. If you find that the person you are working with not helping you or listen, then find another therapist who will. There may be some other cause for you to feel like this (something happened to you in your earlier life time), thus need someone good to listen and help you out. Drugs do help, but its not the cure all.

Answer 10

no you're in a sensitive place now and your emotions are raw now. therapy especially the first year does it. you have a right to be angry at that women, it's you're feelings. nobody can deny that. personally me when i saw i couldn't take care of my child i took a break and got help, but i had a supportive family. must be your neighbor sickness progressed so far, she had no idea what she did at that point and she cries herself to sleep every night wishing she could take it back.

Discuss your feeling with therapist she's there for you!!