What are the negative outcomes of not spanking?

Question

I know many people are "anti-spanking" towards their children and yes that is great. But i just need some points on what the negative outcomes of NOT spanking your child may be.
Example: they can rebel as teenagers....
PLEASE HELP!!! this question will be choosen for the best answer within 20 minutes. thank you

I'm REALLY impressed with the answers i recieved. I'm not "anti-spanking" or "pro-spanking" i just wanted to hear the opinons of those who believed somewhat in "pro-spanking". I've heard all the "anti-spanking" already and i find some of those "statistics" biased.

Answer 1

I was spanked and I have not been adversely affected by it. I think that if you handle it properly, then it can be a useful tool. (That means that it is not an uncontrolled hand that whops their bottom in an angry response to their behavior. It's more like a discussion as to why they are being spanked, followed by the spanking, and then the request and giving of forgiveness. The child is reassured that they are loved and believed in.) Had I not been spanked, I am certain that I would have tried a lot more naughty stuff than I did. I was spanked as a punishment, but not as a hostile response to what I did. If you can't control yourself, then don't do it. There will be resentment and rebellion as a result of that type of spanking.

If spanking is handled in a loving, training sort of way, and it is used in conjunction with other appropriate consequences and rewards, you actually can head off teenage rebellion and worse. I have taught for many years, and I have seen the negative effect on children whose parents never want their kids to hurt, even if they do something wrong. Real life has consequences, and spanking is one way to begin teaching that fact. Pain is a touchstone to growth.

Key thing to remember: Have a great relationship with your child and pay attention to him or her. If you do this then the child will be more apt to understand that you are trying to train/teach him or her. If you don't spend much time interacting with your child, then spanking probably won't mean much, and will foster rebellion and bitterness.

Answer 2

I'm not sure that there would be any more negative outcomes to not spanking as there would be with spanking. As long as there is some form of discipline in a child's life they stand a great chance of becoming a productive member of society. All children are different. Some, I belive, need the occasional spanking, as some never do.
I was spanked as a child and grew to be a responsible, level headed adult. I have friends who were not spanked that grew to be the same. Children are going to rebel at certain stages in their lives, just as adults to. I don't belive that spanking has anything to do with it...as long as it is not abuse.
The parents who take physical discipline to the abuse levels, I believe, definitely adversely affect the child's mental and emotional future.

Answer 3

Some children at an early age who are brave enough to 'push the envelope" will do it.When they realize there will be NO physical force to restrain them or make them stay in time out, they push it even further.Some parents do not know what to do then and the child runs wild and rules.
Sometimes a child can be reasoned with BUT because they do not understand on an adult level they cannot always be reasoned with.Sometimes they want what they want when they want it no matter if it kills the entire world and sends it to hell.
Not spanking teaches them in these situations they are lord and master supreme.There will be NO "real" consequences for any bad behavior they display and carry out, just empty idle threats of "no TV for a week".How will they be stopped from going somewhere else to watch it?Noo physical restraining remember?
They grow up being adult versions of pint sized spoiled brat tyrants.I've seen it over and over.

Answer 4

I can not think of even one thing that is a negative in NOT spanking a child. However, I can think of many negatives in spanking a child.

So - to get back to answering your question ---
I believe some parents feel that if they don't spank their kids they'll end up with a spoiled brat, bossy kid, rebellious teen, non-responsive child, kid who doesn't respect his elders, etc.

GEEZ... didn't know I was supposed to hit my kid to get the perfect results out of this human being I brought into this world. My opinion only - don't need to spank to raise a child.



#### adding this one last comment -- I remember when my kids were 4 and 5. My 5 yr old was just SO pushing the envelope of being "nice". I debated at that moment to say "you're getting a spanking". I was angry and frustrated, so it would have been easy to give the kid a swat on the bottom. HOWEVER, I quickly realized it was MY problem in how I was disciplining and removed him from the scene with a time out and a loooooooooong talk. Result: he caught himself a few days later and said to his sister he needed to be "nice" because he had learned better.

Discipline means to teach!!!!

Answer 5

If you are a loving parent who disciplines your child in effective ways there is definitely NO negative outcomes to not spanking only positive ones! I wont list the positives as you are not asking this. I, for one, do not believe their could possibly be one negative outcome for not spanking! Spanking teaches disrespect and violence as I am sure you know.

Answer 6

Well, there are people who don't spank who still do a good job of effectively disciplining their children. As long as the child is learning discipline, there's no "negative outcome" of not spanking.

Now, if you get a parent who doesn't believe in spanking *and* doesn't properly use any other form of discipline, then there is quite likely going to be a negative outcome. (Spoiled child who can't behave properly, poor manners, etc.)

Answer 7

You're confusing "not spanking" with "permissive parenting."

Choosing not to spank means that you have made the choice to use other, non-violent ways to teach your child right from wrong and respect for himself, others and the planet. You have given boundaries and they are (for the most part) non-negotiable. You are first and foremost the parent, the advocate and the protector of your child.

Being a permissive or irresponsible parent may mean you don't spank, but it also means you don't teach your child any boundaries, any respect and any life skills. These are children who never learn to live in the world and have a sense of entitlement that is not due them.

These are two different things and should not be confused.

Answer 8

I am definitely against spanking, but in discussions about this, with friends, and in job interviews, I have heard people say "there was no other way to discipline" a child. I'm sure you know this is not true, but some people will not try anything else. The result for them will be a willful, uncooperative adult with NO self-discipline, and very low self-esteem because they think no one cares about them.

As a child, this undisciplined person will break every rule where ever they go -trying to find out if anyone really does care enough to set limits. It can be much worse, but that's enough for starters.

Answer 9

Children who were spanked might rebel as teenagers, too. Any child might.

I'll be checking back, myself, to see if you get any answers to this question that make any sense at all - that come up with negative outcomes that are possible only for children who were not spanked (and not parented at all - not guided & taught in other ways).

Answer 10

Give me a break. I was spanked as a child, and I rebelled as a teenager...bad correlation.

What is effective is consistent, clear boundaries that constitutes solid discipline, whether you choose to spank or not.

ALL kids are going to rebel to some extent. Some go a lot further than others.

The parents' job is to reel you back in and keep you safe from things you are not mature enough to understand or make your own decisions about responsibly yet.