Getting married in Dec. Have been married before and he hasn't. I have a 13 y/o son whom we included in the announcement and will live with us. Here are my ?'s.
His family is having a shower for us in his hometown. (I know noone there). Is there anything I need to do? Should we have favors? I just feel a little weird showing up and not doing anything.
We will exchange vows in a small chapel with our parents and my son. What is proper for me to wear? He will be wearing a suit. I would like to wear some type of wedding dress but not the white, long, frilly type. Color?
I would like to have a "reception" type party with our friends at a later time. Could we do a wedding cake at that time? Favors? Is it even ok for us to do this? I feel weird about registering being that I have been married before. His family wanted us to do this so I did. I wasn't sure what to register for, I was married for a long time, he's been single and I feel we have what we will need to make a home
2007-10-21 14:38:24 · 11 answers · asked by lovethe48 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You are the guest of honor at your shower and you are expected to do nothing. Sit back and enjoy being treated. Regarding the wedding, dress, etc. It is your wedding and you do whatever you want to do. Don't frown on being married before. You may make your fiancee feel that he is not important because he wasn't first. You need to view this as your special day and value it as if it were your first, because it's your first with him. Don't take that away from him or his family.
2007-10-21 14:44:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi and congratulations!
First of all....your shower: No, you don't need to do anything. YOU are the guest of honor. And as far as registering....YES, of course! It doesn't matter that you have been married before.....it's not like you are having the big blowout wedding. Registering if fine. By now, I'm sure you need new things. Register for whatever you need. No, you don't need to bring any favors. Sometimes these are given out, but that would be the responsibility of the person "hosting" the shower (i.e., the groom's family members).
Dress: It's whatever you like! Do you have a favorite color? I would go for more of a cocktail type dress, or a full length gown if you want. I love these ones from Chadwicks:
http://www.chadwicks.com/womens-Special-Occasion.aspx?DeptId=8219
Alfred Angelo's line also has some nice ones if you go to the "bridesmaid" section OR the "mothers" section:
http://www.alfredangelo.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/collections.collectionHome/categoryID/7dedefb5-dc18-488c-a5c1-328f36c0dead
Reception: Of course you should celebrate! Nothing wrong with that! I would certainly have a wedding cake.
If you WANT to give favors, it's up to you. Usually I advise brides to forgo the favors unless it's something edible or something that is REALLY nice. Most "cheap" things, people simply toss.
Good luck and I hope you have a nice shower, a beautiful wedding day, and an elegant reception!
2007-10-21 23:36:50 · answer #2 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For the shower, all you need to do is show up. ask your inlaws if theres is anything they would like you to do but other than that, nothing. It is your wedding even though it is a second one, so wear what you want and what you feel comfortable in. perhaps a tea length dress in ivory to match the formality (or lack of ) of the day. If ivory is still too 'bridal' just wear whatever color is your best. i would just try to stay away from black, navy, etc. you could go bold with red or try an elegant suit in dove gray. Wear what makes you feel best. You could for sure do a wedding cake later on, maybe try using bright bold colors instead of white or ivory. Use pink and red for to symbolize love or just whatever color you like. If you end up wearing a blue dress because it looks amazing on you, use some of that blue in the wedding cake to make it more festive and fun and less traditional. Favors are still fine, when guests come to a party its nice to get something to take home no matter what kind of party it is!here is a link to personalized packets of hot choclate that i am using at my wedding in feb. just for some ideas. www.beau-coup.com/wedding-cocoa-favors.htm I think a great thing to do for the couple who doesnt need anything is to register online for a charity. i know there are different places you can do this, but i dont have any exact sites for you. you can probably google it. what happens is that they donate to a charity of your choice in your name! Good luck and dont stress! make it fun, warm, family-oriented and sepcial to you and your man, and have a good time! congrats!
2007-10-21 21:56:29 · answer #3 · answered by tink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can register for a few things if you want to, but is NOT really proper to have a shower for the bride's second wedding.
You might suggest they throw some other sort of non-gifting party, instead ("Meet the bride" luncheon? Rehearsal dinner? Groom's banquet?) But if his family is *insisting* to throw a shower, then go ahead, and be gracious about it. (Also, remember that everyone invited to a shower MUST also be invited to the wedding itself-- to do otherwise would be horribly rude.) Send handwritten thank you notes promptly!
Favors are never required for ANY function. They are totally extra.
You can wear any color dress you want, including white (I suggest NOT black). As a second-time bride, you SHOULD avoid a dress with a train, or a veil.
A reception at a later time is not technically a "reception," but you CAN have one, it is fine to do so, and call it a Newlywed's Banquet or Honeymoon Party or something. A cake with tiers is appropriate for any big occasion.
2007-10-21 21:53:21 · answer #4 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
At the shower you do not need to do anything but enjoy yoruself. Whoever is throwing the party will take care of favors and everything else!
For your wedding dress you can wear any style or color dress you choose. There are plenty of simple and elegant styles out there that are not poofy ball gowns. Check out the bridesmaid dresses too! Here are some sites that may help:
http://www.chadwicks.com/Department.aspx?DeptId=8219&Page=1&12PerPage=true&affiliate_id=012&affiliate_location_id=02&WT.srch=1&mid=y0001519
http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridalcollection.jsp
http://weddings.theknot.com/weddingdress/bs_main.aspx?gowntype=1&MsdVisit=1
Don't feel weird about registering, since his family requested it I am sure no one else is thinking it is weird. Just have fun and enjoy yourself.
Good luck!
Oops I forgot to add, having a reception later is perfectly fine. Although etiquette states it is not technically a reception but a party celebrating your marriage. You can definitely do the first dance, cake cutting ceremony and everything else done at a typical reception, you just call it a party!
2007-10-21 21:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by Reba 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think it's perfectly acceptable to have a small ceremony and reception including a cake. As far as a dress I think any color that you like is fine even white but it would probably be best not to wear the long frilly type as you had mentioned. As far as your shower, the people hosting for you will (should) provide favors for the guests but perhaps you should consider buying a gift for the person or people hosting your shower. As far as favors at your wedding reception, I think that is also acceptable if that's what you want to do. It's a nice thank you to all the people that attend your wedding.
2007-10-21 21:45:02 · answer #6 · answered by Julia 86 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You can do any of the same things a first-time bride does. You can wear white, register, have favors, and of course have a wedding cake. This is your *first* time marrying this groom, and your wedding doesn't have to take short shrift b/c you've been married before. Re. registering, you might want some new things, or less traditional ones, e.g. from a hardware store, or honeymoon registry. I suggest skipping the blusher veil (I doubt you'd want one anyway), but other than that, do what you want for your wedding.
2007-10-21 23:05:08 · answer #7 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do nothing at the shower but be "showered" and be gracious and thankful, introduce those who may not know eachother and smile smile smile and enjoy.
You wear what you want, do your thing at your wedding however you want and register for whatever you want. This may not be in the ettiquette books, but blending families is hard enough work, just do what feels right to you and ENJOY!
2007-10-21 21:42:33 · answer #8 · answered by JungleJane 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i say bring nothing
you should certainly have a wedding dress...what color is your hair ?
blonde ? then maybe a shade of green or yellow
brunette ? shade of maroon or green
the dress could be anyone you like.
good luck
i say yes to the cake later but ya know 2 cakes wouldn't hurt.
2007-10-21 21:46:07 · answer #9 · answered by in trouble 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
OK, I'm not going to answer any of these questions but I'll give you the best answer anyone could possibly get. Ask your husband to ask his family whether or not they're comfortable with all of these arrangements.
2007-10-21 21:41:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 6⤋