Hi everyone, please help me, tell me what you think:
I was with my ex for almost a year and he broke up with me, lied to me, then mistreated me and I finally found out he had someone else..
I was feeling bad for so long and desperate for love. Not desperate for a boyfriend but for falling in love again and getting over my ex.
my ex was the hottest guy I've ever seen , he was also the man of my dreams, only problem: he was a jerk and a**hole
so I found this other guy online and hit on him (something I rarely do)
the other guy is not bad at all he looks good (not as hot as my ex) and he's a very nice man (BUT HE'S NOT EXACTLY WHAT I DREAMT OF)
plus, even though I'm desperate for love, I still don't feel ready to get attached and I want to have more guys before I find the one that will never hurt me or leave me.
I went out with him(first date) and it was awesome .. but I can't help but think the man of my dreams is not this guy.
should I give him a chance?
2007-10-21 14:28:26 · 23 answers · asked by leave me alone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thank you everyone
I'm not saying that he's bad or anything
I'm not doing him a favor by dating him
but I mean I feel that I still need to explore, I don't wanna miss out on opportunities
and plus if I happen to decide he's not the one, and break up, am I not going to break his heart ???
2007-10-21 14:36:51 · update #1
OK LOOKS LIKE I NEED TO CLARIFY SOMETHING HERE:
,MY EX WAS THE MAN OF MY DREAMS IN THE BEGINNING WHEN HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME
NOW THE MAN OF MY DREAMS WOULD BE A COPY OF MY EX "THAT I LOST", A COPY OF HIM BUT THAT LOVES ME
AND NO I DON'T LIKE JERKS WHO MISTREAT ME .. I JUST THOUGHT MY EX WASN'T THAT MEAN I WAS WITH HIM FOR A YEAR HE ONLY CHANGES AT LAST AFTER THE BREAK UP....PLEASE BE UNDERSTANDING I'M ASKING THIS QUESTION CAUZ THIS NEW GUY IS AWESOME AND I DON'T WANNA BREAK HIS HEART
2007-10-21 14:58:40 · update #2
every guy u go out with deserves a chance to prove himself... ok.. he's not the man of ur dreams.. but who knows... he might be the man who deserves ur love... so let him prove to u that he also deserves ur love to him... just don't pour all of ur emotions all at him at once... get to know him more...and the longer u get to know him the better chances of him proving his worth it... so... go ahead...
2007-10-21 14:35:15 · answer #1 · answered by skeptic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this is a really nice guy. Should you give him a chance? I'm not sure. For what? So you can break HIS heart? You don't know what you want and are looking for a fantasy "man of my dreams". What you can get is a real live human being. What matters is the real stuff not the fantasy. I think you said something very important when you said that your ex was the man of your dreams. And you say that he: broke up with you , lied to you, mistreated you, and had someone else. WHAT KIND OF DREAM IS THAT??? Sounds like a night mare to me. But if all you care about is how "hot" a guy is then maybe he was your dream guy. If that's what you want then please, leave the nice man alone. You had an awesome date with him, but you are still dreaming about the superficial and say you are not ready to get attached and you want to have more guys before you find the one that will never hurt ou or leave you. So you want to spend time dating more dream man jerks who abuse you? Sounds like lots of fun for a masochist.
You say that you are desparate for love, not for a boyfriend but for falling in love and getting over your ex. You should get over your ex fast. He was no one's dream.
I don't know why you went out with this man. You say the date was awesome, but you think he's not the man of your dreams. So just tell him you are desparate for love, not a boyfriend and you are looking for the man of your dreams who will mistreat and lie to you and leave you but is a lot "hotter" than he is. Tell him to beware and not get attached to you because you are dangerous. Then it would be ok to 'give him a chance'-- if he's willing to take it.
Or maybe you could wake up from the dream and join the real world in which you need a guy who is honest and true and loving and supporting and exciting to you. Then maybe this nice man would have a chance.
2007-10-21 21:42:33 · answer #2 · answered by treebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. The date was great, and he seems like a decent person. You can learn a lot about yourself by dating a nice guy for a while, even if he isn't the one.
The man of your dreams turned out to be a nightmare, so clearly you should spend some time learning how to pick a truly good man.
2007-10-21 21:32:37 · answer #3 · answered by tweedropjes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come on.... there's no such thing as the perfect man. And if there were, are YOU perfect enough to deserve him?
I've had hot boyfriends and, believe me, they were arrogant, controlling punks. Find a nice guy and be happy, don't complain so much. It's crazy to make a list of what you want in a man because you'll never find all the qualities you're looking for in one man. Just find someone you love and stick with him! =)
2007-10-21 21:38:55 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine&smiles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give the dude a chance. You never know what will happen over time and how you two could change each other for the better. Plus if it don't work out just break things off.
2007-10-21 21:32:34 · answer #5 · answered by smooth_stalin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, give him a chance times one million. True love grows, instant attraction often fails when you no longer feel that attraction. You don't have to be monogomous, just make sure he knows you are "playing the field". You might really grow to love him, and if not, you already said you had a great time so enjoy it for what it is without pressure.
2007-10-21 21:32:25 · answer #6 · answered by Cash 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While you still need to have some sort of emotional recovery from your last relationship,you dont necessarily want everlasting love right now.You should just be having lots of fun and without complicated new relationships.So perhaps just enjoy the new friendship,attention and see where things go...
2007-10-21 21:51:11 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Word of advice- don't just go for guys with looks, they usually are assholes. It never fails....which is why those guys are the ones you don't settle down with.
Go for personality! If this guy is nice looking and is nice to you, go for it! He will treat you better and make you feel better about yourself.
Believe me, guys who think they are the hottest guy in the world know that everyone else thinks it too, therefore, they use it to their advantage. They are into themselves, not anyone else.
2007-10-21 21:34:07 · answer #8 · answered by Ash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have an image of what you want in your mind. It probably isn't realistic, (remember men are from Mars) but if you are already comparing this guy with your dream guy, you will be disappointed.
Save yourself and this guy some pain. Wait until you find what you are wanting, or until you change your image of the Ideal man.
2007-10-21 21:33:57 · answer #9 · answered by Ranger 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever see the movie Shallow Hal? I'm not suggesting you're being shallow, and i'm not saying date the guy even if he looks like an a**, but i'm just sayin, look inside instead of out. Outer beauty is important, but how someone truly is on the inside is even more so, unless youre just looking for sex.
2007-10-21 21:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Give him a chance, maybe your dream can change. I am sure you would rather have someone who is not as hot and treats you like a queen then a hot guy that treats you bad. Right?
2007-10-21 21:32:21 · answer #11 · answered by JEN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋