I am NOT the only family member she has been rude to. In the first years she was just very quiet, and kind of cold. I thought she was shy. But as the years go by, she has become even colder and often rude. Should I confront her? If so, how? I'm not even sure she'd get it. Since she is this way to others, I wonder if this is just her personality. My mother in law is not much different. I am tempted to just avoid gatherings where they are present. What should I do?
2007-10-21 14:14:51 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is entirely up to you.
Tip-toeing around the SIL isn't going to correct the problem. So if you go and she snipes at you, then you need to call her down on it... and preferably everyone else should do so as well. If she gets offended and decides not to show up at the next event, that is fine, too.
If you don't go, then don't sweat it. You should not have to put up with any guff. Where is your wife in all of this? It seems she ought to talk to her sister.
2007-10-21 14:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like mental illness or a personality disorder runs in that side of the family. Confronting the evil sister in law would do nothing but create more fighting. Just go to the family events and avoid her and rude mother in law. Some people are just born with A**hole genes and there's nothing you can do about it. If she comes up to you to say something, just walk the other way and blow her off.
2007-10-21 14:34:54 · answer #2 · answered by Wintergirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably expected to go. Somehow you need to get through it. You can always do what I do...insult them in a jokingly way when they insult you. They will never really know if you meant it or not, and it gets out a lot of frustration. Plus you will be laughing at them later for weeks to come.
If you have to see these people all the time, you may need to confront her. But if it is not very often, just go, get it over with, and blow them off. No need to start a family feud.
2007-10-21 14:20:27 · answer #3 · answered by lefttheroom222 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A family event, means all family not just this sister in law, so go and ignore her and have fun.She apparently is a very unhappy person and it makes her life a little happier by being rude to others.
Have a good time.
2007-10-21 14:43:14 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Angel.. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this your spouse's sister, or your brother's wife? Not that it matters much, but in your spouse's case, I would defer to my hubby/wife on that one. If he/she wanted to go to the family gathering, then I would go, and ignore the rude sil. If it were my brother's wife, I would go to the family gathering, and ignore the rude sil.
You should NOT confront her, she's not your blood relative, anything you say to her will offend her. If it's your spouse's sister (or sis in law) then talk with him/her, and tell him/her. But, like you said, everyone in the family knows about this person's coldness, so there's not much you can do about it.
Good luck!
2007-10-21 14:46:59 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their coldness and rudeness you should let go of, like water off a duck's back, especially since it's not exclusively directed toward you. You should continue to attend family functions for your husband's sake. Tell him how you feel, but go for him and the rest of the family.
2007-10-21 14:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can make the decision to go to family events that are very important and stay at home for the other family visits.
You don't have to be buddy-buddy with her.....and from her attitude she doesn't want that anyway.
I would ignore her if possible....and if it's not possible your husband should deal with her....this is his family.
2007-10-21 14:25:25 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your spouse first. Your spouse will be the only one who can talk to them about their actions. If that doesnt work, just continue to be cordial when you go.
2007-10-21 15:12:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋