Something to cheer me up and make me smile.. There are 10 points in it for the best joke!
2007-10-21 13:53:22 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Little Mary comes home from school flipping a quarter in the air, her mother asks "where did you get that quarter Mary"? she replies "Johnny gave it to me cause he wanted me to climb the apple tree to get him an apple" " Mary you are wearing a skirt today and johnny just wanted to look up and see your panties"!! The following day Mary arrived home flipping two quarters in the air and catching them as they fell. "Where did you get them quarters asks her mother?" "I got them from johnny , he wanted me to climb the apple tree twice today two get two apples" "Mary you are wearing a dress today, I told you yesterday that when you climb the tree Johnny just wants to look up and see your panties!!" Mary said to her mom "I sure fooled Johnny, I didn't wear any panties today!!!!!"
2007-10-21 14:26:26 · answer #1 · answered by handynewf 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
between the funniest became into this guy who became into approximately 60, he recognised like a homeless guy or lady yet surely had a place to stay. He for specific had some psychological difficulty concerns (yet i'm now not making exciting of that). He walked all around and recognised thoroughly happy. I reported him in a friendly's ice cream parlor quicker or later sitting on the counter. He became into eating an ice cream cone, had it throughout his face, moustache, beard, and it merely recognised so remarkable by way of very fact he did now not care, he became into merely lovin' it!
2016-11-09 03:49:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" – the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" – says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.
2007-10-21 21:54:44 · answer #3 · answered by Philomena 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) A hillbilly decided to take his son hunting for the first time. They spotted a deer. The man said, "Son, watch and learn." He whacked the deer over the head with his shotgun and proceeded to "do" the deer from behind. When he was all finished, he said, "Okay son, now it's your turn." The kid dropped his shotgun and bent over and said, "Alright...but go easy with the gun, okay..."
2) Why did the man shoot the prostitute in the side? He wanted to see a whore-mone.
Why did the prostitute shoot herself in the hip? She anted to take in money on the side.
3) Why does the easterbunny hide her eggs? She doesn't want her bunny husband to know she's sleeping with a chicken.
2007-10-21 21:43:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of bee produces milk?
A boobee
Women demand a lot of time and money, you know. So much, that we must take the product and not the sum of the time and money they need.
Women = Time*Money
We all know, "Time is Money". So the equation becomes:
Women = Money²
We also know, "Money is the root of all evil." So,
Women = (√All evil)²
Women = All evil
Yet another proof that women are all evil.
Thank you.
2007-10-21 22:31:28 · answer #5 · answered by Akilesh - Internet Undertaker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short Joke...
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Long Joke...
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of story and then conclude the moral of that story....
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story and little Suzy raises her hand... "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market... Well one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road" ... teacher asks for the moral of the story... Suzy replies, "don't keep all your eggs in one basket"
Next is little Lucy.... "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator" .... "Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched"....Teacher asks for the moral of the story.... Lucy replies "don't count your eggs before they're hatched"
Last is little Billy.... "My dad fought in the Vietnam war, his plane was shot down over enemy territory".... "He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete".... "On the way down he drank the case of beer".... "Unfortunately he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy soldiers".... "He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more, but the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands"
Teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.... Billy replies, "Don't fcuk with my dad when he's been drinking"
2007-10-21 14:02:39 · answer #6 · answered by Alexiolim 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What do you call the best team in the NFL?
New York GIANTS
2007-10-21 14:47:57 · answer #7 · answered by steve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do u call a chiken thats been in the microwave for to long?
dead
2007-10-21 14:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by this guy... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what do you call a sheep with no legs?
a cloud
haha lame but always makes me giggle!
2007-10-21 13:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by katieahmed 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋