I met a great guy online over a year ago and developed a great frienship and chemistry until things became physical during this past summer. We have acknowledged each others feelings and do have intentions to settlle down and not into playing games. I recently met his parents a few weeks ago. He has huge responsibilities on his shoulders: father diagnosed with 2 different cancers and starting chemo in a couple of weeks; he is the sole financial provider in his household; he attends college part-time. He always calls or comes to me if he needs to take a load off his chest and is also very close to his family. He had not called me in th past week. What I need advice on and true guidance for, I do not want any scenes from "Fatal Attraction" and I am not the "jealous" woman because anger is such a waste of energy and I do believe giving someone space when they need it. I've fallen. How do I still try to call, email, or text him on how he is without "appearing" desperate"?
2007-10-21 13:16:57 · 2 answers · asked by nattydreddey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Call him, and if he doesn't answer leave a message like this "hey Babe, just calling to see how you are doing. I know how much you have going on and I'm wondering if there is anything I can do to help- even if it's just to be a good listener. Call me soon so I know you and your family are all right, I care about you and want to know you're OK. Hope you are dong well, take care."
Keep it short, sound upbeat but not super happy. Try your best to sound casual. Don't sound "concerned" or you could depress him.
Men are notorious for holding in their fears and not sharing them. If you have a great friendship being physical can change things- he could just be scared that things are moving fast. Men get weirded out when life brings too many changes at once. There is you and your relationship progression, his father possible dying in the not so distant future adds loads of stress, worry and sadness. Add the financial responsibilities he has and you have a triple play of woes for this man!
Give him some breathing space, but let him know that you are a pillar to lean on if he needs you- that what friends, and potential spouses do for each other- they give support when strength is needed.
2007-10-21 13:30:13 · answer #1 · answered by sweetpea73 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why would you seem desparate if you have a good relationship with the guy???
call him you never know what has happened and he may need you or at least need someone who cares for him outside the family ---- all you are doing is showing concern for a friend and loved one -- that is NOT desparate ---- best wishes
2007-10-21 20:23:14 · answer #2 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋