the best place for your baby.?

Question

I see a lot of b-mothers who were told that they needed to do "what's best for thier baby"

You know give the baby to better people.

What if everyone having a child had to live to that standard... Angolina Jolie would have all of our children. Although I'm a great mother there's always "better parents" than us.

I know there is a true need for adoption, I've adopted. I would never have done it just 'cause someone wanted a "better home" for their baby. It needs to be because there's NOT EVER a suitable home.

What do you think?

Ruth, I'm not refering to the people who CAN"T raise their children. The problem is that people pressure abled women on the basis of "you can give them a better home"

If everyone should place their children based on "they could have a better home" Angilonia would have all of our kids.

Also it the poor who get the BEST medical care. It's me (the middle working class) who pays out the nose.

I would NEVER judge a woman for chosing to to place her child or why. It's the people who are telling her to for the whole "better life" reason. I don't hink a woman should HAVE TO parent a child she didn't want either.

Answer 1

I agree completely FG, and thats why so many of us are here letting women contemplating adoption for their baby know that more often than not, the best home for their baby is their own. Obviously I am not completely anti-adoption as I have 2 adopted children, but I think SO many adoptions happen unnecessarily, especially domestic adoptions. Women need to stop being convinced that other women deserve their children more than they do. Adoptions should happen when children are in danger from their parents, when the parents are deceased or when the parents -truly- do not want to parent their child. Family members and guardianship should also be considered over adoption.

Answer 2

The best place for a baby is in a loving, stable home where there is one or two parents who can provide love, support, safety and care for a child. Some parents who give children up for adoption do so because they don't feel that they can offer all these things to a child and so think that their child would be better off with another family. No family is perfect and while there may be rough times in a family, as long as there is still a strong foundation, it doesn't matter what other people think. Remember you only see what these so-called "better parents" want you to see! Behind closed doors they could be just as crazy as the rest of us!!

Answer 3

I am in full agreement with you. Circumstances can leave a person in a very sad and difficult situation but I stood by my family and am blessed now by my kids and my 3 wonderful grandchildren (16 10 and 9 years), and they have always been surrounded by love and well provided for by their mothers as well as having a loving family around. Their are times when adoption is good, but I have seen a bad adoption and the harm it does to a child on at least 3 occasions, may be that is why I felt the need to love and cherish my own grandchildren. It is usually the paternal families that condone the father's rejection of the single mum, sad then that these girls and their little ones are also short changed by society itself (in USA and in UK at least), People like you, who adopt when there is a need and understand where the poor birth mums are coming from are few and far between and therefore you are a bit of a treasure in your own right. Bless you for it ((((HUG))))

Answer 4

i get you rwhole question but i had to stop you. no need for false information.

Your statement about the poor was false. the poor get free health care but it isn't the BEST health care. Some Dr.s don't feel like these people deserve their treatment so they will treat them with the smallest amount of effort. It's the rich that have the best health care. the middle class that have the good health care but have to pay out the butt. and then the poor that get free health care and outdated meds, and non effective treatment. I work for the state Department of Health. and trust me even though they get free health care they still have to put in alot of work to get it. not to mention letting the whole world know your personal business.

as for your question. there really is never a suitable home but the one you were born into. i think the only time adoption is good is when your family is abusive or they die. otherwise as ling as all of these abortion clinics are open people need to use them. Christian's say don't but then they adopt from other countries because it's cheaper and the kids in the USA are still stuck.

Answer 5

Great question - thanks for asking.

There are always "better" parents - of course, that depends on the yardstick that one uses to measure standards. Sure, Angelina Jolie has money and can buy all of the babies that she wants. But given her history of unstable relationships and drug use, I would not let my children go trick-or-treating at her house, alone let her raise them. So, no, Angie is not a better person and there are three children who she would not have - my two and my grandson.

So - that said - I have enormous respect for parents who do their best to protect their children from abuse and poverty. Sadly, given the war on poor families that our current government is waging, often their only choice is adoption. However, I have no respect for parents who give their children away because they want them to have a life-long shopping spree.

Did you know that Bill Clinton was raised by his grandparents for the first 4 years of his life because his father died 3 months before he was born? His mother needed to find a way to provide for him so went to nursing school while Bill was a baby. Today, she would be jumped on in the hospital or at social services and urged to "do what's best for baby" and give Bill to someone with more money.

Well, that was a bit of a rant. I also know that there are some people who just are not qualified to be parents and I think that adoption is the only chance that that their children may have at a happy life.

It seems that often the wrong people choose adoption.

Answer 6

I know of a friend who was adopted and she never hated her parents, for she was raised and loved and nurtured by those who adopted her like their own baby. A better home for a baby could be for those couple who would never be able to have their own children. If a person wants her baby to be adopted find a loving couple who is really dying to have a child of their own but cant.

Answer 7

There are other avenues of adoption than adopting a newborn infant domestically. I strongly believe that there are many children in other parts of the world who need loving homes, who are spending their childhood in orphanages, that need homes, and I know their biological parents were not told they should abandon their child to do what is best for them.

You are asking a loaded question. You need to look at it differently. No one should say that placing a baby for adoption in a "better" home is better. Because, how can they really know for sure that it is better? Adoption ALWAYS involves loss. Loss of a child for the first mother, loss of a whole first family for the adopted child. Sometimes, loss of a whole culture. Keeping babies in their biological families is probably the best, but...

We don't live in a perfect world, and until we do, adoption will be necessary.

Answer 8

My problem with the idea of doing what's best for the baby or giving the baby to "better people" is that those who say things like that mean is to give the baby up to people who can provide it with material wealth. Many people have the mistaken idea that rich people make better parents than poor people simply because they have more money. What often happens instead is that the child is raised by nannies and given toys instead of attention. Lots of rich people make horrible parents.

Answer 9

As long as the mother wants to be a mother, and can care for the baby that's all that's important. I'm not talking about having money in the bank or being able to buy designer clothing for the baby but able to love and shelter, feed, clothed the baby that's all that matters. and one should never give their baby up so their baby can have a huge house or a fancy car. Love isn't about money. Babies deserve to be surround by people who love and can care for the baby.

Answer 10

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