I am depressed now that he is gone. I should be happy.Prayer is not working. I wake up worse everyday!!?

Question

Now that I have gotten rid of him,why am I sooo sad. He started punching walls when he got angryand yelling.?
met a man online in June.He and I started dating on June 20th. We have been seeing each other almost everyday/weekend since.The relationship started to become very uncomfortable.He would make rude comments about me,my home,my up bringing.I told him that I didnt want to be in a relationship anymore.He said"Why,I like you.We can work this out.Lets talk about this.I want you to be my girlfriend." I felt bad for hurting his feelings so we stayed together.I went through a divorce from an abusive man last year and I told this guy about it. When we went skydiving two weeks ago he made fun of the abuse!! He said"All Brian had to do was slap you around to get you to marry him." When we got back home I told him to never call me again.No Emails.Nothing. He called and Emailed and said "Oh,I'm sorry.I only want you to be my girlfriend.I'm so alone!Why wont you be with me?No one wants to be with me!" We got back together.How do I make him go away?Should I just ignore him from now on.I dont know?

Answer 1

My heart truly goes out to you. You are definately searching for someone special and you end up in abusive relationships. I don't know you, however, I know you well enough to say that you do not deserve this type of treatment. You are sad because you feel as though you must have someone in your life to feel complete. Not true!! By ignoring this person, he will think you need a little time for yourself. Again, not true. It sounds like you have come to the conclusion of enough if enough and you want to move on. I would suggest you tell him that you are no longer interested in him in the person of recent days, not the person you found on the internet. Tell him it is time to move on for you and him. Wish him well and stick to it. Don't answer his phone calls or e-mails. There is someone out there better for you. No one deserves abuse--absolutely no one. It is good you found out now than later. Guys are dumb and can't get the message but stick to you conviction. I know it may feel like you are hurting, however, you know this is for the best. In just a very short time he became an idiot. Trust me, it will only get worse.

Good luck to you and I will keep you in prayer.

Answer 2

You are wise to take this seriuosly. People who accept abuse from others receive it - more and more. A downward spiral continues and the abuse becomes more severe until the ultimate damage is done. Those who abuse may or may not be aware or in control of what they do - but they are VERY manipulative about it.
Firstly, write yourself a letter - Was this person truly ever your friend? Friends don't hurt their friends. Ask yourself if you would let your daughter be treated like that.
Secondly, you need a lot of support from others, both emotionally and physically. Thirdly, I'd seek either counsel or classes on habitual behaviors of these types of relationships.
Knowledge is power and it will help you change your life.
Do WHATEVER you have to do to protect your safety. If it becomes at all violent - report the incident and then move!
There are hundreds of great guys out there who would love to share their life with you, why spend one more minute with someone who is hurting you?

Answer 3

Part of an abusive relationship is stripping the persons feeling of self worth. This is why he started to cut you down, your home, your upbringing, etc...to make you question yourself and think that maybe you AREN'T good enough. They do this for control - the next step would be to start cutting you off from your friends, family members, etc. so that you become totally dependent on him. (Maybe part of this had already started to happen.) Then, the REAL abuse begins. You've alienated everyone, you think you're worthless, you think you'll never find anyone else that will love you (ANOTHER lie they like to tell), so you stay in the relationship out of fear of being told "I told you so" by your family, or out of fear of being alone for the rest of your life.

This will only get worse. Cut off ALL ties with him. Don't speak to him again, don't answer his emails, nothing. If he continues trying or does anything that makes you feel really uncomfortable (threatens, continues to harass, etc) call the police and let him know you've done so.

I was married to a wife beater, I know what I'm talking about. Absolutely no one deserves to be treated like that and life WILL go on without him. And a much happier life at that.

God bless you.

Answer 4

Sounds like he's obsessed and not the right guy for you. I am so sorry about your abuse and divorce. Alot of people jump into relationships way too soon after divorces/break-ups. You just don't want to be alone. It takes time to get used to it. Some people take alot longer to adapt. It has taken me years. About this guy, just ignore him. I don't like hurting peoples feelings either. You shouldn't add any other stress to your life. You're already dealing with an abusive divorce. Ignore this guy for as long as you have to. Make absolutely no contact with him and he'll eventually go away. If he doesn't he's nuts and you need to call the police.

You'll find the right one for you and when you do they'll accept you and all your baggage and they wont ever hold it against you. Good luck!

Answer 5

If you go back to this guy, you’ll have to de-program HIS upbringing, and re-program him to be a decent man. Is he really worth investing all those future years? You’ll be his mother instead of his girlfriend, and a real tired one. Forget it. Find a real man who respects you from the get go, and adds vitality to your life, not mega stress, the blues, the lines and bags under your eyes, and who knows what else. Don’t forget that a break up with anyone is sad in the beginning, no matter how bad the relationship was. What you’re going through is NORMAL. But you’ll soon get over it, especially because God is with you. But do pray for him. God will send you the right one and help him too. He seems like he needs a lot of help. Blessings.

Answer 6

Break up once and for all, and then do not respond to his emails, phone calls, letters. Ever.

And then get with a counselor so you can explore and recognize why you have developed a PATTERN of being in relationships with abusive men.

Until you figure that out, this is the type of relationship you will be in-- one after another.

Answer 7

I would tell that jerk off everything you said that pisses you off about him!! I wouldn't take that crap from him if I were you. You don't need a loser like him there are plenty other fish in the sea. DON'T PUT YOURSELF IN ANOTHER ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP!!! you just got out of one why would you get into another one whether it is just verbal abuse or mental abuse or physical abuse it is all the same it just hurts differently but it is all abuse! Give him closure and tell him why don't people want to be with him and tell him gently to go F himself not so many words but tell him you are through with his behind till he can grow up and come to his senses and leave the abuse out of the relationship.. you don't need an immature little boy you want a man that can respect you and take care of you not hurt you nor belittle you about the way you were brought up. I am guilty of saying things about the way my girlfriend was brought up. I shouldn't do it but I have done that in the past.. but I do it in a nice loving caring way and just to prove my point and differences in the way I was brought up compared to her.

Answer 8

you are in a pattern of dating the same type of men and the way out of it is to change yourself. Heal whatever it is in you that makes you feel you don't deserve better.
We miss most things in our life even if they were bad for us because they usually were not all bad but missing this guy does not mean he was good for you. Don't think in terms of 'i am depressed'. Instead think in terms of 'i fell alone' or 'i miss company', or 'i miss being in a couple' because that is really what you miss. My advice is, don't rush into a new relationship otherwise chances are high you would date another similar abusive man. Take time to heal yourself, and the aloneness and lack of company will improve. During this time, you can get back to enjoying your won company and doing things with friends. goodluck

Answer 9

Girl he has show-en you his true colors. I don't think he even has a clue the he is doing this to you. If someone wants to be with you they have to respect you before a relationship can pursue. You sound like a kind person that does not want to hurt anyone. Move on and find a man that has some respect, you deserve it!

Answer 10

I think you need to wake up to reality.

You'er praying to be happy--it doesn't work like that. God is already telling you the answer. If you've been an abuse victim before, then you should know what to do.

God has given you everything you need--you just need to trust in Him and know that there is someone better than this jerk.

I would file a restraining order against him. I really would.