i dont want to have all the pre marital parties
2007-10-21 09:30:52 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No, please no "do over's" - you had your wedding. Sorry if you did not have it all the way you wanted it, but you don't get to do it again. Your friends and family do NOT want to deal with it again, either. It is not sweet, it's selfish.
2007-10-21 13:02:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
There is a alot of confusion about what is a second wedding ceremony and what is a renewal of vows.
There are NO premarital parties for either a second wedding ceremony or a renewal of vows. You do not register for gifts and you should not expect a "shower."
Second wedding ceremonies can be defined as "having the ceremony and party (reception) that you never had." Many couples have a second wedding ceremony because they got married the first time at a court house or by a Justice of the Peace or secretly and now they want something more meaningful and grander. The Bride wears a gown and the groom wears a dark suit or a tuxedo . . and sometimes they have a wedding party (flower girl, bridesmaid, best man, etc). The Bride and Groom send out printed invitations, they have a three course sit-down dinner, order a wedding cake, and hire a disc jockey. Like I said previously, it's the party they never had, and they want to celebrate with their friends.
A renewal of vows celebrates the husband and wife and their love for each other "during their years of marriage." Yes, they may get "all dressed up" but it does not entail a wedding gown or a flower girl dropping petals. Yes, they may invite their friends to a three course sit-down dinner but the mood is different and the decorations are less ornate. Yes, they may hire a DJ but the event is simpler and the guests act more mature.
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-10-22 04:20:57 · answer #2 · answered by Avis B 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes you can, there are couples that renew their vows every year. This is a very personal choice between the two of you. I have had solders who were gone over six months of their first year of marriage renew their vows. Some love the idea of renewal for their anniversaries. Can you expect gifts? No not really, and they should not be asked for. Your renewal of vows would be a celebration of your past year together,looking forward to the coming year.
Planing it like a wedding......that will depend on what you plan to due in your ceremony. I have done the renewal just as the first wedding. I have also done a very warm hearted ceremony with close friends and family. Both had parties after wards. Best wishes, Chaplain Debby
2007-10-21 18:50:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess you can, but why would you want to? You just had a wedding last year. If you feel the need to renew your vows I would suggest to do it in a small intimate setting and not plan a big party.
Why not wait until your 10 year anniversary and have a big party to celebrate.
2007-10-21 15:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by Reba 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
One year is too soon for a vow renewal, which are silly anyway. As far as "people do it all the time" , I don't know anyone who had any huge party, let alone a faux wedding, on a one year anniversary.
And it is not "bull" to think a marriage is in trouble if a couple is doing a vow renewal. Speaking of 'bull', it is a 'red flag'! Aren't I clever?
And anyone being impressed that someone made it to a year of marriage!! Really, I am going to be astonished that a couple is still in love and commited after a whole year of marriage??? She's still shaving her legs!!! They are still changing the sheets twice a week!!
I've been married 14 years. Sometimes, I am impressed that I made it that far.
2007-10-21 12:11:08 · answer #5 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You can, but that's really kind of silly. People I know who renew their wedding vows do so on a major anniversary--sorry, the first doesn't count. I'm talking 10th, 15th, 20th, etc. Generally one of those anniversaries where the year is divisible by either 5 or 10. Doing it for your first anniversary looks like a few things--you're childish and didn't get it out of your system a year ago; your selfish and think that every day is all about you; your marriage is already on the rocks, and this is your way of proving to the world that it isn't; and you want more gifts.
Don't get me wrong, I think renewing your vows is a great thing, and I see nothing wrong with doing it for your anniversary--just don't have all the big "wedding" hoopla, it's just too soon after your wedding. Do it with just you and your husband--that's appropriate.
Happy anniversary and congrats.
2007-10-21 09:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 9⤊ 2⤋
I'm probably going to get a ton of thumbs down, but I don't believe in vow renewals. Not at 1 yr, not at 5 yrs, not at 10 yrs, not at 25 yrs.
I feel when we got married, our vows were meant to last a life time. I feel the minister did a good job the first time around.
I've been married 31 yrs, and I love my husband more than the day I married him, and I'm sure he feels the same way. I just can't see the importance of having renewal vows.
Also. And I don't mean to be rude, but a 1 yr anniversary, is just that. It's 1 little year. After 30, 40, 50 years, I think you have bragging rights. Sorry, just my opinion
2007-10-21 17:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by tess 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you have a renewal ceremony when your vows aren't old yet, people are going to think your are fishing for presents. I sure do. If you want to invite a bunch of people over for BBQ or cocktails or something, do it -- but don't mention that it's your anniversary until you make the announcement about an hour into the party. That way it is clear that the celebration is about showing your friends a good time and not about shaking them down for yet another gift.
2007-10-21 14:20:17 · answer #8 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Duh, you are already married! No, a vow renewal is NOT another wedding - it's simply having a blessing or ceremony done, followed by a dinner if you like and a bit of an anniversary party.
A year is WAY too soon to have this done. Traditionally it is done at the 25th, though more recently people have been doing the renewal of vows at 10 as well.
2007-10-22 01:07:00 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi and congratulations on 1 year of marriage!
I must agree with the others....one year is too soon. And, according to wedding etiquette, (and contrary to what others have said on this forum)....even when you DO renew your vows....it's NOT a second wedding. There are etiquette rules to follow. I know most people don't care...but really, it's only proper to do things right. I hear of these people being married 10, 20, 30 years and they want it all over again with the big white dress and veil??? That seems silly to me. You CAN RENEW vows....nothing wrong with that and I did it myself on our 25th....but I didn't get dressed up in a wedding gown and a veil!!
Good luck and may you have many more years of happiness!
2007-10-21 11:40:29 · answer #10 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Most people renew their vows between their fifth or tenth anniversary, or later than that. But, don't take me wrong, I'm not criticizing, just an observation.
What that person said about people renewing their vows when a marriage is rocky or at the verge of divorce, is pure Bull Sh*t. I think it's sweet that you want to let the world know that your marriage is still strong, and that you feel the same way about each other since the day you said "I Do".
I don't see why you shouldn't be able to plan it as a wedding, of course there would be a few changes that would need to be done, but go right ahead, vow renewals are like a second wedding, and most people plan the whole event just like their first wedding, dress, party, limo, and all the good stuff.
My sister-in-law is planning her tenth year anniversary, and she will have a vow renewal, and she is going to make the whole wedding again, this time her daughters will be walking with her, which will make it very special. When she got married the first time, she got married only in court, so now she wants to make a church wedding.
CONGRATULATIONS!! Don't let anyone kill your joy, or make you feel like this is not appropriate. Renew your vows as many times as you want, that shows that your commitment for the your spouse is still the same.
Have fun planning!!!!
2007-10-21 09:52:32 · answer #11 · answered by Butterflies 4 · 1⤊ 7⤋