"Most People Don't Send Wedding Thank You Cards"?

Question

...anymore? And that most people are ok with this? Giving a couple a gift and getting no thank you in return?

Call me selfish, but I would think less of a couple who did not send thank yous.

I have seen this several times here on Y!A, the last time about 5 minutes ago. Very offhand, oh people don't send them much anymore, la-di-da.

I have even seen people write that those of us who expect thank you notes are the selfish, rude, crass ones!

Answer 1

you and i know perfectly well that is ridiculous. honorable people who have had a certain upbringing know to send thank yous. as young marrieds they are part of the adult community and know fully well it is expected,

people who dont send thank yous and dont rouse themselves to fulfill other social commitments are not a part of society, they live on their own terms. they dont care who would look askance at them not doing thank yous. they dont care that you or someone else would think less of them. maybe on their block thank yous are not sent, but, in the bigger wider world, if you want to be a part of it, it is wise to fulfill conventions that are expected.

just because people who dont write thank yous ( or dont respond to wedding invites, or, give dont give gifts at weddings, or, give weddings that they put no thought into ) answer a couple of questions here does not mean their way is the way it is done now. it is not.

i go to tons of weddings that do not have empty tables with no shows or boorish guests or brides that expect people to pay for her reception or brides that dont send delightful thank yous. it is all about the community standards that you are willing to associate and put up with. even if no one else is sending thank yous, i still will.

and most others do too.

Answer 2

I think it is rude to not send thank you cards. Especially now a days when couples expect so much in the way of a gift. Some of the gifts on registries are getting really expensive.
I am not happy if I do not recieve a thank you note. It is really not that hard to buy some pretty paper and write personalised notes to each guest, no matter if you had 10 guests or 300. Writing 10 each a night, would soon get through however many hundred guests you had. It is just poor manners, bad upbringing and selfishness and lazyness in my opinion.

Answer 3

Who said this?!?!? I mean this is Y!A and not everyone is that intelligent but whoever said that is outrageously wrong.

I have only EVER seen one bride who did not send thankyou cards. Her marriage is long over but that doesnt mean anyone has forgotten her rude behavior. Most people have vowed she's not getting anything for her 2nd wedding.

I don't know ANYONE who does not see not sending a thank you card for a gift as one of the rudest things you can do. Why not you send them an invite saying If the gift does not equal $50, entrance will not be allowed. Gifts will be opened on entrance and order of seating will be determined by price of gift. Head table-lobster. Second tier- steak. Bottom table- punch and a ham biscuit only.

Seriously though--who ever said that is a bridezilla and I can promise she will be the only one at her wedding that is ok with this. Most people agree with you and would judge a bride selfish, demanding, crass, immature and many many other words.

Answer 4

You should have sent a card to the people who gave you a gift. It is polite to do, but just because you didn't send cards doesn't make it wrong or you less better than others. It would have been nice to give those a thank card to let them know their gift was appreciated (even if you didn't like it). But it is too late to do that now. Thanking them in person would be my personal choice insead of cards.

Answer 5

Well, I must be selfish too, because I agree with you 100%. Proper etiquette dictates that a couple should acknowledge all wedding gifts received with a thank you note, and the sooner the better. But, more and more I'm giving more gifts and never receiving a thank you in return. It's really sad that our society has gotten to this point, that those of us who remind people to be gracious gift receivers by sending out thank you notes, are called rude and selfish.

to Glam Princess: I applaud you for writing notes for your son's b'day presents, but can I offer a suggestion? Have HIM write them, or at his age, at least sign them, draw a picture or something. Tell him that he needs to send a letter to grandma and grandpa thanking them for his birthday presents. He's old enough he can start doing that. Good for you for trying to teach him proper manners!!!

Answer 6

I didn't get one for my best friend's wedding.....or her baby shower, or anything else. There wasn't a single person who gave a gift who didn't comment on how badly that reflected on her.

However I would never say that "most people don't send Thank You's" for a wedding. Only the rude one who think gifts are their due just because they are walking down the aisle.

Now if you were to say most people don't send them in general and meant to include things like from a birthday, Christmas, etc. then yeah, the hand written notes are definately on the decline but for weddings they are still just as expected as ever.

Answer 7

Okay, it doesn't matter if most people are sending them, or no people are sending them. It also doesn't really matter what me or anyone else on here says about it.

It is rude not to write a thank-you note or card for a gift. Period. Any gift: b'day, housewarming, baby, & yes, wedding!

The ones who are saying this may be telling you and others that people in their family, friends circle, or community have stopped doing it. Or they may be saying that they themselves didn't receive a thank-you note for a gift. Regardless, send the notes! If no one else in your circle or area has any manners, think how great you will be for having some!

Answer 8

It is so rude and tacky not to send a thank you note. I seriously hate doing it but I know I have to, it's the polite thing to do. I have a 5 year old son and I write thank you notes for his birthday parties. There is definitely a lack of manners developing in this county, people are lazy and greedy. To the people out there who don't send thank you notes, you are making your selves look bad!

Answer 9

People are NOT ok with that!

There is an entire website of people complaining that they didn't receive thank you notes, at etiquettehell.com-- you can turn in all the rude couples you didn't get notes from! (Anonymously, of course!)

I keep saying-- people NEVER FORGET a rude wedding
couple.

On Y!A-- you have to remember, you have no idea if people typing things are 14 year old, ill-mannered buffoons or not. Not the place to get any sort of REAL advice, on issues that count.

Answer 10

Those people were lucky enough to be invited to a wedding and now we're supposed to thank THEM on top it?

oh hell no! they got their "thank you" in the form of an open bar, fantastic food and a great time! They should be sending us thank you cards for having them there!!!



okay, i'm being sarcastic! I totally agree about thank you cards! I haven't been married, but I send them for everything (well... except christmas - my theory is that if we're in person and i say thank you, that's better than a thank you card). Even just thanking my great-aunt for a lunch out... thank you cards need to make a comeback!