It's one of the groom's men, but things have gotten really weird with him lately. My fiance and I also feel he's developed feelings for me that he shouldn't have. We've tried talking to him,but we're not on good terms right now.
I feel horrible about this, but I want to see if this is common. I do know three people that have had problems like this in their weddings.
2007-10-21 08:40:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
So is this not the best time to talk bring up certain feelings I've been having for you?
2007-10-21 10:30:55 · answer #1 · answered by Kate v.7.0 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Usually there is no good way to kick someone out of a bridal party. It is generally considered rude and a final nail in the coffin of your friendship with that person.
BUT, your situation sounds a little different than "I just don't like this person anymore". Have your fiance try and seriously talk to him one last time (face to face, not via email or texting) and maybe talk to him about what the two of your perceive as the inappropriate feelings (key thing is to talk to him, not confront him). I would have solid examples of why the two of you think this - give him a chance to explain himself.
If he either fesses up to having feeling for you or your fiance still feels weird about how he's acting, I would have your fiance say something along the lines of "given the current relationship between us, we think it may be better for you to attend the wedding as a guest".
Like I stated before, though, just be ready for this to be the end of your friendship with him.
2007-10-21 15:49:49 · answer #2 · answered by Muhnkee 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I haven't but may have to soon. I'm sure it'll be hard. Everyone in the wedding party has been having some sort of problem (it's an ongoing problem) with this person, including my fiance and I. Everyone is more than willing to cut ties with him. Sometimes it just has to be done otherwise it can cause more problems. But as someone else suggested, your fiance should speak to him about it and give examples of what he as been doing. Give him a chance to give his side of the story (or whatever you want to call it) before you guys ruin the friendship.
2007-10-21 16:35:17 · answer #3 · answered by Mekana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister kicked one of her bridesmaids out of her bridal party. The woman actually went into screaming fits about nobody's scheduling working with hers, nobody caring what style of dress looked good on her, etc. The last straw came when, 3 months before the wedding, the maid decided that they would have to change the wedding date, as that weekend wasn't working with her schedule. Sure enough, she showed up at the wedding (as a guest) anyway. What a troll!
2007-10-21 16:20:05 · answer #4 · answered by Spider2006 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oyes it may be a very hard thing to do but. the day really is about friends and family coming together to honor the new couple in special ceremony. if you feel weird then dont give him up as a friend quite yet. set him straight about why you feel the way you do. he may apologize or offer an explanation that everyone could live with. inappropriate behavior may be that something else is going on like the feeling of lose of friends. if he continues however it is his problem and be gracious and let him go. you have your loved one try be content with this. you sometimes just have to move on to be happy. the friend may continue with his ways. i hope your loved one supports you in this matter. do it as a couple. you may have better results and may salvage the situation yet. good luck.
2007-10-21 15:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by coolade 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes and its one of the hardest things to do. I had to kick a bridesmaid out of my wedding.
Be careful about this. Brides are so afraid of being called a Bridezilla that sometimes they put up with a lot of stuff they don't have to. However, make sure you aren't truly being a Bridezilla. After all, kicking someone out of your wedding party could end the friendship permanently. It is up to you to decide if that is a fair trade (Though in my case, it was. My bridesmaid thought it was a game that was all about her).
I haven't talked to my bridesmaid since I kicked her out, though she did come to the wedding. But--if you have thought about this carefully--you don't want to have someone in the bridal party that makes you uncomfortable on your big day. You don't want to look back on those pictures and for the rest of your life wished you would have stood up and kicked him out sooner rather than later.
Sometimes you do have kick someone out of your wedding. Just try to be gracious about it. You want to give him the chance to remain a friend. A wedding is an important day but make sure you will be happy with your behavior and actions for years to come.
2007-10-21 15:46:20 · answer #6 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No but I've heard of it happening.
For me it depends on the reason. I think brides who kick girls out because they don't want to buy a super expensive dress or because they aren't "there for them" (meaning they have other things to do besides debate if it should be coral or cream) need to grow up.
If you are considering booting this guy because he's making advances on you it's definately justified. But I would be sure he's actually acted on them and it's not just a guess you have.
2007-10-21 15:47:50 · answer #7 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
yes i dumped my maid of honor 3 weeks before the wedding
I hated to do it but the day is for you and your hun so think of the positives there will be no tension on your day
2007-10-21 16:01:07 · answer #8 · answered by Amber L 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
So is this not the best time to talk bring up certain feelings I've been having for you?
2007-10-21 18:04:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋