Why do so many parents use the excuse of "He's just a kid" or "She's just a kid"?

Question

I realize that kids will be kids, but where do you draw the line of "He's just a kid" or "She's just a kid"? Shouldn't kids be required to take responsibility for their own actions at some point in time? I have seen people in public and I know people that take of for their kids and even make excuses for them, knowing they are in the wrong.

For example, I was in Wal-Mart the other day and there was a boy that was about 5 years old. He was walking down the candy aisle and just began to throw candy bars on the floor. Then he started knocking down the small bags of candy that were hanging on the racks.

People were staring at his mother and everybody was floored that she would allow this to happen. She grabbed him by the arm and said "What is everybody looking at? You never seen a kid do this kind of **** before?". I thought, what kind of crap is that? Instead of her scolding him and asking him to pick the candy up, she's taking up for him.

Answer 1

Kids require discipline. She should have spanked him. Right there in front of everyone. But parents are afraid to spank their own kids nowaday. Some bleeding heart wacko might call Child Protective Services. This sux.

If you see a parent spanking their child. avert your eyes or secretly give them a thumbs up. Parents need your support more than ever. They're all scared. The media has made us all horrified that we are going to lose our kids and end up on the front page of the newspaper if we spank.

Remember the BIBLE which encourages us to spank our kids. Spare the rod and spoil the child. Honor your parents.

Godly wrath is a good thing and there is nothing wrong with being afraid of your parents. My mother has been dead for almost 14 years and I am still leary of wearing pants to church. I have a personal conviction that I have to wear a skirt. This is not biblical. I have no complaint about others that wear pants to church. This is fear of my mother's disproval from the 70's. She did really good. She taught me respect and she did not spare the back hand across my face while she was teaching it. Result: I am kind, considerate, and I miss my mother like crazy. She seemed mean at the time but she was never mean. She understood how to raise a child.

Answer 2

I think "he/she is just a kid" is only an explanation for behavior (to an extent), but not justification for their behavior. For example, any random child may suddenly do something they have not been taught was appropriate, something completely out of character (like throwing candy bars on the floor), but they should still be punished for it. When the behavior continues, because there are no consequences... that is when it becomes more than "they are just a kid." They have learned that they can get away with doing rude things and not being punished.


By the way... I witnessed a child pulling clothing off of a rack in Wal-Mart and throwing them on the floor. The employee made a comment, politely asking the child not to do that. The child's mother replied, "It's your job." As if it was the woman's job to clean up after unruly children, because their parents refused to discipline them.

Answer 3

There is a fine line between being a kid and being rude. Kid stuff is just getting dirty, and getting into things you don't want them to. Being rude (or a brat) is throwing things off the shelves at the store. I've had my toddlers do that, and it wasn't okay then, I was completely embarrassed and I made them pick up every single one and put it back where it belonged---never happened again. At 5, that is just rude and disrespectful, I felt at 2 or 3 it was too.

I'm not a super rude person, but I can be, my husband calls me the Queen....the Queen of rude, esepcially when we're out in public and a child does something similar to that, and if the parent just leaves whatever it is on the floor and not put it back, I go confront them, I tell them that not only are they teaching their child not to have respect for other people and their things, but they are leading by example, and it just teaches them it is okay to do that and not pick it up. I say things to parents for everything though that I find offensive, if a kids purposely hits me with the shopping cart, or if their kids cut in front of me in line, or at the playground if their kid (who is older than my own) pushes my kid off whatever they are playing with. If it is something I wouldn't allow my kids to do I say something. If my kids do one of those things (very possible unfortunately) I appologize, make them applogize and make them try and make it right. I agree that saying "He/she is just a kid" is an EXCUSE to not be a parent. Just kid stuff isn't rude, it is just weird innocent activities.

Answer 4

Yeah it makes me mad too, I think kids are allowed to get away with so much these days.. kids need teaching from a young age what is acceptable and what is not. They need to know their boundaries and they will soon learn what is socially acceptable behaviour and what is not. If the kid is like that now at 5 years old imagine what he's like as a teenager with absolutely no respect.. I am so scared of how this generation of kids is gonna turn out like when I'm an old woman.

Answer 5

It is a shame. Especially when parents use the stupid standby of "terrible twos". It's "terrible parenting".

Unfortunately, you cannot tell them anything. I know that I try to keep my own child in line, but I fear that I'm too constricting. OK, well, actually I fear that I'm a total *****, LOL! But, I have to raise my child to become a productive member of society and someone who can function properly. If these parents don't do any disciplining and then their kids are adults, doing "bad" thing, what excuse will they have then? It's too bad that they don't think beyond today, for the kids' sakes and society's sake.

Answer 6

The same reason that right before they tell you their psycho kid stabbed the teacher and set fire to her.. they feel the need to tell you how smart he is.. As if being smart is an excuse for being a bad child or somehow makes it OK. I see it in every post here right before they tell you what bad things their child has done they tell you how smart he is. It is nothing more than stupid parents making excuses for their children, Intelligence has NOTHING to do with behavior. I absolutely hate people who make excuses for their children when they misbehave.. Oh he is tired, or he is hungry( these are my SIL favorites, needless to say my nephew has been tired and hungry for like 6 years) Boys will be boys, or oh he is so smart, or he's just a kid. Get over yourself and discipline your child, the rest of the sane world can't stand his butt. (not just my nephew but all children whose ignorant parents are ruining them)

Answer 7

It depends. The only time I've ever given the "he's just a kid" line is when someone suggested treatment for ADD just because he's active.

Otherwise the child is a direct reflection of the parent and throwing food in the store is completely inappropriate.

Answer 8

I call that "typical parenting" these days.
It's ridiculous.

Haha, whatever though to her. She's the one who's going to have to deal with her brat when he grows up. But I can see her telling the police that he's just a kid when they arrest him at 18 years old.

Answer 9

oh I hate that, its people like her that have children grow up to be little whiney brats in society. It when you really want to knock the woman head off. Irresposible parents.

Answer 10

Ignorance!