2007-10-21 07:51:31 · 23 answers · asked by P M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It seems rude, but, you wouldn't be the first person to do so. Weddings aren't cheap now a days, and most of the time, even if we would like to invite everyone we know, it's not possible, so most of the time some sacrifices have to be made. Some couples have a wedding ceremony at a church and invite everyone they would like, but leave the ceremony only for family and very, very close friends.
So, don't feel bad if you need to do this, I'm sure they would feel even worse knowing that you got married, and they found out later on by someone else.
When you send out the invitation, make a separate card for the people you want at your reception, and make it known that it will be an intimate reception with the people closest to you.
Like I said before, you wouldn't be the first to do this, so don't feel bad, even though most people will make you feel like the worst bride ever, let me assure you, that you're not, and like I also said, if I where that guest, I would feel worse knowing that you got married, and I wasn't even considered for the ceremony and found out later on by someone that mentioned it. If you also feel completely bad just inviting them to the ceremony, don't invite them at all, and them later on send a wedding announcement, this is also very common, and many couples have the need to do it, because of the rise of wedding costs. Research the internet, I'm sure you will find ideas on how to word out the wedding announcements.
I totally understand the situation you are in, don't feel bad or bashed down by all these people that are making you feel like a horrible person, let me assure again, you are not.
Sign up for http://www.theknot.com there are chats and a bunch of things for brides, and I'm sure that other couples that are actually getting married or are in the same predicament, will be able to guide you more.
Good luck! and CONGRATULATIONS!! Try not to stress yourself too much, it's about you, so enjoy planning your special day, and have fun planning it!!
2007-10-21 10:35:19 · answer #1 · answered by Butterflies 4 · 1⤊ 6⤋
How would YOU feel if you were invited to someone's wedding ceremony but NOT the reception? Would you waste your time by getting dressed up to sit and watch the couple get married, and then go home while only the important guests are celebrating at the reception? Wouldn't you feel a bit offended at not being important enough to be invited to the reception too?
I'm sorry, but if you are sending invitations, that means an invite to the ceremony AND reception.
I might suggest rebudgeting your monies to include extra people who you still wish to invite. You can downscale your flowers, limo, or photography/video package. Perhaps do your own hair/makeup instead of paying someone for it. Rebudget some of your honeymoon expenses if that is at all possible.
2007-10-21 08:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by Sharon F 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not sure why you'd want to do this anyway, but the answer is this: the only way to not be rude is to invite them to both or don't invite them at all!
Now, you can invite guests to the reception only if you have a very small ceremony site like a historic chapel or if you want the ceremony to be family only.
There is no nice way to go the other route, though.
2007-10-21 09:31:12 · answer #3 · answered by valschmal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rude, and you can't get around it, other than to invite everyone to the reception that you invite to the wedding.
It IS like saying "I would like you to get dressed up to see me get married, but after that, the rest of us are going to go eat and party, but I don't want you there. Receptions are expensive and you are not worth me spending the money to feed you. Oh, bring a gift."
No, chanting "it's your day, all that matters is that you are happy" does not wash.
When I was just a kid, maybe 8, my mom got a wedding invitation to the ceremony only. As she was putting it in the trash can, she told me a church is a public place, you don't have to be invited in. The reception is what counts.
2007-10-21 08:44:51 · answer #4 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Bottom line, if you invite them to the wedding, you have to extend an invitation to the reception. Why wouldn't you? They are important enough to share in the ceremony, but not the party afterwards. It screams so many things, not to mention how hurt they would be. If your reception hall has limitations on guests, then only invite the number of guests the reception hall can hold to the wedding.
2007-10-21 08:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by Erin 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Well many years ago, before all the modern etiquette was invented making us have to spend so much money on weddings, It was faily common to have people come to your wedding but not be invited to the wedding breakfast. The church congregation would all come for a sticky beak at the bride and see what she is wearing. Quite often there would be lots of people who would come to see the wedding. They would then be served maybe a drink and some cookies at the church. The immediate family and the bride and groom would then leave for their wedding breakfast, usually at the brides home. But now adays, I guess it is considered rude to invite someone to one and not the other.
2007-10-21 08:42:05 · answer #6 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can't cover them for the reception don't invite them to the wedding, that is just RUDE! or cut back on the things that don't care if you're married or not like the flowers for instance, just something to think about.
2007-10-21 08:42:29 · answer #7 · answered by dollbabyii 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to not be rude about it. Don't invite them to the wedding at all if that's the case.
2007-10-21 10:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would feel slighted.
I'm only important enough to be at the ceremony but not the reception? Or vice versa?
Who is this person?
If the person is a distance away IMO its very very rude.
2007-10-21 08:06:39 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
What?
It is rude? Of course it is! Given the fact that they are bringing you a gift you should invite them.
I cannot imagine why you would do that unless it was a matter of money. If so... cut down on the flowers or something and invite them to the reception.
Otherwise don't invite them at all.
2007-10-21 08:01:43 · answer #10 · answered by bum_for_3_months 2 · 8⤊ 0⤋