Ahhh! i cant stand it anymore, i have always wanted to get married and start a family, but it seems that everyone else is getting their deams met but me. i've been to five weddings in the last two years and none of them mine. And just this week one of my cousin's announces she's having a baby. dont get me wrong, i'm realy happy for her, but i've been bit by a major jealousy bug. three of my best friends have found there match and now two of my cousins! How do i find the right guy for me? how do i deal with my feelings of being the lonely singel girl?
2007-10-21 07:36:29 · 14 answers · asked by purplefairy49 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It is hard being single as you get older but it better to be the bridesmaid at this point than to be with the wrong person.
I was engaged 2 1/2 years and there were times I felt left out because everyone was getting married and we are required to wait until we got jobs and our parents would not back down from this.
People who want to get married don't always know what theya re asking and what they are in for. Being a bride for a day and being a wife for 14 years like I am are two different things. Dont be jealous honey, I know it is hard, but being married takes time and patience and a lot of prayer and it is NOT easy not by a long shot.
Enjoy being single travel, take a course, get together with friends because once you are married EVERYTHING changes.
Dont make the same mistake I did by thinking marriage is the only way to be happy and solve problems.
Don't try so much to find the right person become the right person. My sister waited a very long time for a husband she was 45 when she married for the very first time and as much as I wanted her to get married she is busy now and we dont talk as much as we used to and our relationship has changed.
I am not trying to insult your intelligence but do you realize how sky high the divorce rate is? How you feel when you say I do is not always how a person feels 10 years down the road.
It is OK to feel this way sometimes but use this time to maximize your life and enjoy being single.
Marraige and sex are NOT everything and those who think it is have a lot to learn. I have been in your postion I was unable also to give my husband children being content is not getting what you want but wanting what you have.
The grass is not greener on the other side the greener the grass the more upkeep it needs. The more God gives you the more God and others expect of you.
Where much is given much is required where much is required ALL the more of you WILL be asked.
Yes, I am married 14 years today but my beloved and I had some very hard and rocky times and it some ways it was easier being in a courship and not deal with eachother every day but it is WORK to be married anything worth having is worth working for and nothing and nothing worth having is ever easy.
I hope this helps and be encouraged you are not less of a person for being single you have in some ways more oppurtiniys and freedoms than married couples. E4G
2007-10-23 05:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's totally normal to want to be in the same place in life as friends and family, but that doesn't always happen. Just know your turn is coming. However, if I can impart any advice on this topic, instead of looking at what you don't have, look at what you do have. Being single doesn't have to be a major pain. I loved being single and played when I wanted, as often as I wanted and I think that really helped me once I did find Mr. Right. There were no regrets about things I may have missed out on.
2007-10-21 15:21:39 · answer #2 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient honey. If you get too worked up you will jump into marriage with the wrong guy just the be married and end up miserable. I know it's tough for some people to stay unmarried but think about all the great stuff you can do that your cousin having the baby can't. She can't really travel, go out at night, buy a new dress whenever she wants. She's got smelly diapers to deal with constantly....
I'm not saying think these things to be mean but to try to get you to think about the positives of being single. I kind of miss the freedom sometimes.
If you want find you guy you need to round yourself out. What other interests do you have besides getting married? Focus on those because trust me no guy is going to want to start a relationship with a girl who is already picking out dresses on their first date.
2007-10-21 15:04:13 · answer #3 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your time will come but not while you are desperately searching for him. Just relax, and he will find you. In the mean time, get out there and make some new friends. Play sport, join some clubs, try and meet people who are also single, instead of always hangin out with the married ones.
Go on line too, I met the love of my life in a chat room. Not a dating site, a friendly chat room. We have been together 4 years this november and marrying next July. Dont give up....and dont let yourself be lonely. Fill your days.
Good luck.
2007-10-21 15:51:03 · answer #4 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The more you focus on what you don't have, the less likely you are to get it. What's the rush? Are you financially secure? Have a good job? Have good friends? Enjoyed life?
If you allow yourself to come off as the "lonely single girl" with no real hobbies or activities to keep yourself occupied and happy you're never going to find Mr. Right. Keep yourself busy often, find new hobbies, do SOMETHING and stop being a jealous person. That is not attractive to potential suitors.
Once you stop the self-pity party you may find yourself attracting more men. Until then, you're SOL.
2007-10-21 15:06:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I found my guy because I prayed to God about finding him. On our first date, without having fell in love or knowing him all that well something inside me said that he was going to be the man I marry. Don't be in a rush to find a guy to marry -- you might end up settling for less than you deserve. Being single and a little lonely is better than being married and absolutely miserable with the wrong person-- especially when children become involved. Your day will come. In the meantime, I would get involved in things you are genuinely interested in to broaden your social circle. You never know who you'll meet. I met my husband while we were both volunteers in the ER.
Before I got married, one of the songs that used to remind me of what I was waiting for was from Rebecca St. James:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooAi3KJ5I-s
2007-10-21 17:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to do is relax and stop looking for love. When women (and men) are anxious about finding the right person, it just seems they send out this message that says "I am desperate". Relax, don't worry about finding Mr. Right. Just enjoy what is going on around you and before you know it, Mr. Right will walk right into your life and you will be surprised that it happened. But in the mean time, go places and do things that make YOU feel good.
2007-10-21 14:46:31 · answer #7 · answered by Diane B 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel I was there before I was single for 3 years before I found Mr. right. You just have to focused on you and be happy that your single and go out to places and meet people and also do things. A Friend once to told me that god will send me someone just for me when he is ready. I never believed until I focused on me and stop looking.
2007-10-22 16:51:05 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Allen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the first of my friends to get married and 10 years later a few of my friends are still single. They are all beautiful, successful and fun women with one thing in common. They are too picky when it comes to men. They are looking for the perfect guy and won't even date men who don't fit every requirement on their imaginary list. Be open and the person you least expect will turn out to be the one.
2007-10-21 18:46:02 · answer #9 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look you will find your soul mate just like your friends and cousins. just give it some time and you'll soon find love.. you need to go out and meet new people and im sure the man of your dreams will be there waiting for you.
don't rush it ok..being married is a huge responsibility. we don't have children yet and would love to be parents.
i know how you feel because everyone around me are having babies but my husband and i have had no luck.
it is really heart-breaking.
just be patient ok. i wish you the best of love.
2007-10-21 14:44:06 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋