Is it appropiate for parents to be blamed for every thing a child does..?

Question

It seems in this day and age when ever a child goes of the rails, the first port of call is the parents. We love to blame every thing on them.
But have we forgot about what rights parents have been stripped of, and how are children can disrespect us and we are powerless to stop them.

Answer 1

What a load of cr*p. I have plenty of rights as a parent to keep my child in line, and ensure she is behaving in an appropriate manor. Rest assured when my child attempts to be disrespectful to anyone, I have the power to stop her in her tracks. That kind of behavior is overlooked by any good parent.

So yes, parents are responsible for the abhorent acts of their misbehaved children, as much as the children themselves. If we don't discipline them, and the result is a badly-behaved child, who else is there to blame but us as the parent?

Answer 2

No, to a certain degree. But I do believe that a child's behavior is a reflection of how their parent raised them. If you were allowed to be disrespectful as a kid, then you will grow up disrespecting others. If you were allowed to talk back to adults as a kid, then as they get older they will do that. If you don't provide any home-training then they will act like wild heathens when they are out in public. Although kids go to school to learn, it is YOUR duty to school them at home.

Now some children make their own choices, usually when they are teenagers in highschool. If the child decides to try drugs then that's not the parent's fault unless they allowed the child to experiment with drugs. All you can do is tell your child right from wrong. You teach them to say no to drugs and they choose to try it anyway, well you've done your part.

Answer 3

In some cases, yes it is all down to how you bring up your children and the example you teach them from birth and some parents do a bad job of this, but even then who is to say that their child will turn into a monster? many don't. However their are just as many parents out there who have raised their children with manners, respect etc but their kids still go off the rails. Prime example within my own family. My parents raised me and my brother with love AND discipline. Taught us to use our manners, not be cheeky, respect other people and there belongings. We had a great childhood BUT whereas i have grown into a well rounded woman with 2 children myself and a settled, happy home life. My brother on the other hand has been in and out of prison for the past few years, having got in with the 'wrong' crowd at school.

How can 2 children from the same parents with an identical upbringing turn out so different? and how can people blame my parents for his behaviour?


**EDIT**

Biz i sincerely hope that as your child grows and reaches her teen years she does not turn into one of these out of control children, led astray by her friends and boyfriends. You may, then, not be so quick to judge and blame others.

Answer 4

Its just like the princess that love candy 16 year old said they have minds of there own . And yes there is laws . If you yell at them its mental abuse if you spank them its physical abuse . That's all they have to do is call child protective service and off to court you go and allot of kids know that .

Child protective services and counselors will tell you to give them time out . Well how in the world do you give them time out when there not going to listen to a word your saying in the first place when they think there all grown up and they know whats good for them .

People say teach them in a loving way . Well i agree with that but what are they learning around there friend in school .

I know parents that are very good people and darn good to there kids very loving and caring and the kids are little devils . If the parent try to correct them the kid threatens them .

I use to rent to a family and if the parent would yell at the kid for being devilish the kid would call the cops and off to jail he would go for the night no questions asked . The cops would say there just doing the job and keeping the piece .

Bottom line is are kids are going to hell in a hand basket .

" SPARE THE ROD SPOIL THE CHILD "

Answer 5

the thing is tho that if your child is being a social nuisance then perhaps the only person who can bring home a direct consequence for their action is YOU the parent

there have been teenage kids who have changed their ways once they saw that their parents were being prosecuted for the misdemeanours of their children

and no you may be powerless to stop your kids from misbehaving ONCE but you can put into place sanctions to make their life unpleasant as a direct consequence to deter future recurrences

plus starting with them young rather than overindulging them for years then wondering when they are 12 - 13 why they 'have no respect'

Answer 6

Todays society is different. When I was lad the majority of people had a mum and dad. You were taught respect because if you spoke at the table, you got the back of the hand over your head. If you dared to misbehave at school, you got the cane or slipper. If a Policemen shouted, boy you jumped.

Now, the majority of children probably don't have a father figure at home. We have fantastic new laws saying that you can't touch anyone. Teachers are given no respect and no powers. Same with the Police.

It's a balance of the two. Government live in fantasy land with fantasy laws and family units struggle to exist.

My kids are at primary school. When they first started, if they misbehaved or didn't use their manners, I gave them a hiding when they got home. Hardly have a cross word with them now and everyone says "what polite boys you have". No stupid naughty chair crap in my house.

You have old school, smacks for behaviour.

You have new school, you are expected to have a child psychology degree, been to university and try to believe that bullshit ideas about naughty chairs work.

Added: And you don't have community spirit. Kids driven everywhere, most people won't know who lives on the estate. So kids aren't brought up in communities anymore.

Answer 7

Oompa Loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
Pampered and spoiled like a siamese cat
Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame
You know exactly who's to blame
The mother and the father

Oompa Loompa doompety da
If you're not spoiled then you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompety do

Answer 8

well you know the saying, It takes a village to raise a child. thats true. we cant be with our children every min of the day. If my child was doing something wrong, Ild like my neighbors to be decient enough to come and tell me so I can put a stop to it. We have children and they are our responsibilaty. If were teaching them right from wrong then we wont really have to worry about them getting into as much trouble. Every child gets into some mischife.

Answer 9

Well, actually yes. The child learns most of their behaviors from their parents because that's who they look up to first. If the parent lacks in parenting skills, then don't expect the child to be great in behavior. Children usually look up to their parents unless their parents suck. Then usually they'll find a new role model from media or other people.

Answer 10

if a child is taught respect at home hopefully he will show this to the outside world

some parents complain about the behaviour of their children but do nothing to change it - and then complain if they get into trouble with the police or school - they certainly do not support a school trying to straighten out their child

when a horror story about out of control children appears on the news it usually becomes clear why the child is awful when the parents are interviewed - the kids are often chips of the old blocks!