My ex and i broke up recently and to be honest, i haven't come into terms of accepting it. Maybe because i loved him sincerely. The thing here, i just discovered - from him, that he never loved even from the beginning of our relationship. That he only used me for some selfish reasons. I know there is no point crying over him coz he is not worth it but even though i bid my goodbye to him, personally... i find it so hard to just move on and forget about him. It has been a month now since we broke up but everything seems so fresh. He told me to not bother him and leave him for good. It hurts me so much but at the same time, i am mad at him. I feel like my world stop when he ended the relationship. I know, he is a prick, a jerk, name him anything but i still want him. Can you give me some sensible advice?
2007-10-21 06:36:42 · 8 answers · asked by peek-a-boo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I completely understand. I went through a very similar experience. It really is frustrating because you know he's hurt you and used you, but at the same time, you just wish you could be with him again. Very honestly, you are better off without him. You deserve someone who sincerely cares about you as much as you care about them.
And while there is no specific perfect way to handle such a break up, I can tell you what I did that helped get me through it: I threw myself into my hobbies and my college classes. I started volunteering more. I let my friends know how hard this was for me, and they came through, by having a lot of girl time and being wonderful distractions. I tried to focus on what I was thankful for each day: friends, family, my animals, my opportunities. I tried to think positive thoughts about myself. I tried to stay away from all thoughts where my happiness was dependent on some other person. I treated myself to what made me happy; Starbucks, going out to the movies with my cousin, lunch with my mom, etc. And most importantly, I let myself cry about what I'd been through. I let myself sit and think about how I felt about how I had been treated. I let it all out. But when I stopped crying, I wiped my tears, invited some friends over and popped in my favorite movie. It's okay to be upset, but you have to get negative thoughts out of your head. Definitely don't dwell on how it could have been or what you could have done differently.
I hope my suggestions could help at least a little. Feel better; I know it's hard.
2007-10-21 06:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by PetRescuer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this is sensible or not. I do know that in this case your anger may serve you better (at least in the short term) than your sorrow because there are appropriate ways of doing things (like ending relationships) and this wasn't it. No closure, no validation, just a sense of having been used, and that's the deepest cut of all. In many ways, however, he's done you an enormous favor by getting out of your life before he did further damage. That is small consolation right now, but that's all I've got. Hopefully it'll be enough of a catalyst to propel you towards healing, though, because life is far too short to spend it pining away for someone who never loved you in the first place. There is a further bright side, too: It seems to be a true testament to human interactions that we have to go through a number of "bad" situations to appreciate a truly "good" one when it comes along. Maybe now that your quota for "bad" has been fulfilled, you're on to something truly spectaular....(when you're ready, of course). At least that's my hope for you. Be well.
2007-10-21 06:55:02 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is so hard about accepting that a male doesn't want you. Get over it and move on. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. He does not owe you anything nor is he obligated to stay in your life because it is what you want. Find a man that wants you and go forward. Or better yet go forward alone. Do not dwell on that fact that one person is all there is and drag him along beside you with drama. Life is short, say good bye and go on.
2007-10-21 06:43:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother is currently doing this to a sweet girl he's been dating for awhile. She can't seem to let him go. . It sounds like your a very sweet girl.. and If you can love someone that much, try and forget about the jerk who crushed you. . Find new people to hang out with and date. But don't look too hard. . Someone out there is right for you.
2007-10-21 06:43:07 · answer #4 · answered by zombie_f_o_o_d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself some self respect and love yourself enough to get over it. Have enough pride that when someone tells you to leave them alone that you say gladly. If he's not worth it why are you still punishing yourself? Stop thinking about him. Somebody tells me they don't want me I believe them and move on.
2007-10-21 06:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by shellshell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, well let me say that relationships like that arent going to blow over, Its going to take longer than a month to get over him "out of sight out of mind" go hang out with friends, family, other crushes, or just hang with some old lovers. It takes time, you'll be ok.
2007-10-21 06:47:35 · answer #6 · answered by yoyo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel but the truth is you have to move on. Its not healthy for you. Find things to keep you busy so you dont have to think about him
2007-10-21 07:53:40 · answer #7 · answered by poohbeark19 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow your bliss.
2007-10-21 06:43:04 · answer #8 · answered by got force? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋