2007-10-21 06:20:20 · 15 answers · asked by wedding 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We both are Catholic but planning on marrying away from both of our home towns (he is from the midwest, I am from the east)...
2007-10-21 06:59:37 · update #1
It is customary to marry in the home parish of the bride or groom but exceptions can be made.
Talk to the priest or wedding coordinator at the church where you wish to marry.
Congratulations!
With love in Christ.
2007-10-21 17:06:35 · answer #1 · answered by imacatholic2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!
By "member" do you mean of the parish, or a Catholic?
Generally, there should be a reason why you are getting married at that particular parish, although it is up to the pastor (the head priest at the parish). My wife and I got married at a parish where we weren't registered as members, but wanted to use our own priest (who is a friend), and wanted an afternoon wedding so family could come from out of town but only have to spend one night in a hotel. The parish in which we were married is led by a pastor who is a friend of our pastor, and did not have a large congregation, and in fact preferred that we bring our own priest since he usually did work outside of the church on Saturdays.
I've heard of other parishes where the priest is extremely particular - this is especially so if the church is beautiful or historic, or if there is a large, young community where many marriages are being performed. In these parishes, the priest may insist that you be members, or at least that one set of parents be members. If you have no ties to the church, the priest may refuse for the very good reason that families within the parish are given priority. In any event, talk to the priest ahead of time and explain your reasons.
Now, if you are asking whether you can be married in a Catholic church but not be Catholic, you should know that it is preferred that both are Catholic. This is not for small reasons - Catholic teaching on marriage is very serious, and very restrictive, and the Church wants to make sure that the vows you take are vows you believe in and will live, otherwise you will not receive the Church's blessing on the marriage. Now, if one of you is Catholic and the other isn't, this usually isn't a problem, but you'll need a dispensation - a letter from the Bishop saying it's okay. This will take a little extra time, but usually isn't a problem so long as the non-Catholic spouse is a faithful Christian who was baptised in the Trinitarian formula and lives a Christian life. The dispensation also makes sure that the other spouse isn't currently married (or has gotten a divorce).
If you find flack with one parish, try another. Priests can sometimes get picky, mostly because they take marriage very seriously.
BTW, a good summary on Catholic beliefs towards marriage can be found in "The Good News about Sex and Marriage" by Christopher West.
2007-10-22 10:00:23 · answer #2 · answered by Veritatum17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi and congratulations!
You will be getting LOTS of different answers to this question, but here is what I know from
1. being a Catholic all my life
2. marrying a non-Catholic in the Catholic Church
3. having my son marry a non-Catholic in the Catholic Church
I totally agree with what etiquettegal said. I'm sorry, but pspoptart is totally WRONG!
At least one member (bride OR groom) needs to be Catholic, but not necessarily a member of THAT parish.
You will need to go to pre-marriage counseling (as you do for MANY faiths....not just Catholic).
You DON'T need to jump through any hoops as pspoptart stated. And, NO, the fee will NOT be higher. The Catholic Church does not require a "rental fee", you simply pay the priest his fee as well as the fee to the organist.
That said, the best thing to do is call and speak with someone in the office and/or the priest to get your questions answered.
Good luck!
2007-10-21 07:00:23 · answer #3 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a catholic who married in the Catholic church I agree with the last answer by Ilovewed: You do not have to be a member of that parish. Make sure you get a copy of your baptisimal records from your home parishes, that is one thing the Catholic Church requires. Lots of luck for your union and God Bless you.
2007-10-21 07:59:52 · answer #4 · answered by bob t 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is up to the church pastor. Each specific parish will have their own requirements. One parish I was a member of only required one of the participants to be Catholic and would marry non member. Another parish I went to only would marry if you were a current member of that church.
You will need to make calls to the churches in the area you are planning to be married in. If you have family that are members of a specific church that may help as well.
Good luck!
2007-10-21 15:43:55 · answer #5 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may require you (at least one person out of the couple) to be a member of SOME Catholic church, but usually don't require that you be a member of their parish specifically.
However, this may vary from place to place.
2007-10-21 06:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes they do, and usually you must be a member for at least 6 months to a year before the wedding date.
2007-10-21 06:24:32 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, some will let you get a letter from your home parish stating that it is okay for you to get married in the other church.
Just call around & ask!
2007-10-21 09:37:39 · answer #8 · answered by valschmal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not all churches require you to be a member of their parish. my fiance and i are members of one near our house but it is way to big for the size of our wedding. we wanted to find a chapel and had found one right inside of a cathedral we found in downtown. very gorgeous and luckily we can have the ceremony there without having to be a member there and one of the pastors at our church will marry us at this one. so there are churches you can marry in without having to be a member of.
2007-10-21 12:01:11 · answer #9 · answered by TJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had 2 wife that are catholic and I'm not . but we really did not go to church.
2007-10-21 06:28:53 · answer #10 · answered by sdwill1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋