I'm a completly respectful person. I think the world of her and do not want to lose her. Her parents think that I am a loser and just using her becuase I am dating someone who is 5 1/2 years younger than me. They have no interest in meeting me whatsoever. I want to make this work if at all possible because she is really special to me. Any advice would be very helpful...
2007-10-21 06:10:20 · 37 answers · asked by nicholas.dodson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, what you do not realize is that you are an adult that is dating a child. Mom and Dad should call the police.
If you truly, truly care for her. You should step out of her life until she is 18.
2007-10-21 06:12:55 · answer #1 · answered by 2Cute2B4Got 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
On average, the age gap is just about right. Most women marry fellows who are at least 4 years older. This is because men mature later than women. A woman of 17 is more sensible than a man of 17 for instance. We look to an older man for strength, protection and respect. I don't see why her parents think you are a loser. Is it only because you're older? What you have to understand is that parents are very protective, especially of their daughters. They are probably worried in case you make her pregnant. If they won't meet you, you could try writing a letter to them, telling them how much you think of their daughter and see what happens. You are both still young so give it some time. Hope everything works out ok.
2007-10-21 06:26:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sandee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how far apart are her parents in age? Mine are 7 years or so and some parents have an even bigger age gap...maybe if they took that into consideration then you'd have better luck. If you both really love each other then age shouldn't matter so much. One of my older brothers is about your age and he was dating a younger girl...her parents didn't approve either until they actually got to know him a little. He says that if you try talking to them with respect and come off as a trustworthy person then they will probably at least think about your relationship. After all, they only want what's best for their daughter.
2007-10-21 06:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by Heidi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, hate to burst your bubble, but technically she is under age. You will have to wait until she is 18 to really be legal to doing things on her own. So why do they think you are a loser? Do you not have a job or have the means to support her if it comes to marriage? To me your approval could come from either working that job or going to college or what ever you need to do if you were to care for the one that you love. Give it time and get the respect and approval from both of them. It's not going to work behind their back. She will wait for you too. It will just mak e the heart grow fonder. My parents were the same way. Just wait for her. Oh BTW, My husband is 5 years older than I am too.
2007-10-21 06:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What she has to do is find which of the parents is most understanding. Mostly in these cases are the moms, which are very smart in convincing the dads. But then again if she gets along better with her dad, the dad can also trick the mother into complying with the situation.
I've been that girl and I eventually ended the relationship because it got ugly with my parents and with him. So whatever you do stand by her. Tell her you love her and prove it to her as often as possible.
What I did with my folks I told them tell me a day and time when he can come or I will call him to talk to you when I know you are both at home. They did not give me a date and in a week I told him to come. He came, my dad hid himself in the bedroom my mom talked to him. Unfortunately she still didn't like him. He was well dressed polite...but he was 13 years older than me.
Good luck!
2007-10-21 06:21:25 · answer #5 · answered by crishu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all I would wait till she turns 18 to do anything with her cuz if you have sex her parents will probably charge you with statutory rape because she is a minor. I know you have strong feelings for her but if I was you I would wait until she is a little older. All you can really do is be respectful of her parents decision and wait till she is 18 otherwise you could end up in jail. I hope you figure everything out and you guys end up together! : )
2007-10-21 06:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by brit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well they are just worried that your some bum who lives in the basement of their parents house smoking pot all day and have nothing to promise her except sex. If your going on to your masters and hold a respectable job that should mean a lot to them. If your not, think about getting your *** in school and working hard for a change, then have a mature conversation with them and if they still refuse, wait till she's 18 so she can make decisions on her on.(of course you can secretly see her) But keep going over to her house and talking to them respectfully trying to persuade them that you are really a good guy who truly loves her.
2007-10-21 06:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
erm.. Perhaps you should really care for the girl, made her know that you love her. And try not to disobey her. Once she knows that you love her and if she has the feeling for you, I bet her parents will agree to meet you too. But 1 more thing, is your dressing, do not dress like a disco guy, try some mature dressing, even a nice t-shirt with a jeans would be alright. Or sometimes, you may buy something for them to eat. You can try to please them by anything.
I will say, may be is due to your personality, or your physical appearrance, try to ask her why does her parents doesn't like you, then you may at least get an idea and try to change yourself.
Remember, it's always better to change yourself to suit others rather than wanting them to change in order to suit you.
Good luck yea...
If you have anymore problems, you may email me, I would be please to answer all your questions and help you.
2007-10-21 06:20:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um. You can't. The girl is still in High School and the average person would find your courtship a little inappropriate, boardering on illegal depending on which state you live in. Even if you don't consumate, it raises an eyebrow.
You can agree with her to cool it off until she graduates then attempt to approach the relationship again. Honestly, that is the best way to go. That way, it takes the rebellious heir out of it on her side because she is graduated and it makes it slightly less illegal sounding.
2007-10-21 06:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by Thera 9 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, the age of consent is 17 in some states, so it's probably not illegal. But since she's a minor, you may have to respect her parents' wishes until she turns 18 & just be friends. I know it's kinda hard, but it'll save you trouble.
2007-10-21 06:19:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nice things for her that show her you care (bring her some soup when she's sick, help her with her homework without giving her the answers), take really good care of her and be nice, do little sweet things like open her door for her and be a gentleman, let her know what your aspirations for a career are, etc.
All of these things will get back to her parents when she's home. She will say, when amongst her parents, "[your name] took me to the college library and showed me how to look up stuff i needed for school. He always opens the car door for me, etc." They will realize you're a good guy to their daughter.
Also, let her know you'd love to meet them and have them meet your parents sometime. Or, that it would be fun if you all met for lunch one day or something.
They will respect you more over time.
2007-10-21 06:18:17 · answer #11 · answered by rlfesty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋