everything was good till this last 1/2 year. I had problems dealing w work, family, health. she had some too. It seemed like I just smuttherd her too much by always doing too much for her. I became insecure and always had to call her all the time, tex, email, know what she was doing ect. However this was not unpurpose, i just really loved her. Over the summer we had a couple 1 week breaks. Last month she told me she think we still needed time apart.I got really upset and emotially and just left. we were both crying.Since then I got really insecure and kept calling, texing, jut pushing her away.she has said she just wasnt happy, but then she says he needs time.Anyways this last week I realied alot of things and want to be calm and laidback like i always was.i got a new really good job that I am happy. Iam like i used 2 be.She has aggred 2 meet4 lunch tom. I knowshe expects me to be a begger. what can i do to make her think twice?I am a really nice guy and have done everythng 4her.
2007-10-21 05:27:18 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
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2007-10-21 05:28:21 · update #1
I really am a nice guy and i think she dosent see that sometimes. she has had some past problems in life. she told me that i am not going to change her mind. I know she still loves me. Instead of shutting the door, what can I do at lunch to make a chance still be there. Is it better 2 talk about things right now, or just act cool. she says I scared her by calliing, texing..ect the last couple weeks. what should I do? I really think she just dosent want such a serious reltionship w me right now. I want to show her that I can be differnt. now this just isnt all me, she has done alot to hurt me. Like why wouldnt she want to talk about things after 6 years. last week she said she wasnt ready 2 talk. I think she i getting some bad infuluences from other people. I just want to be that guy she fell in love w before. I just think if we could get through this we could do anything in life. ladys how should i act tom and what should i do to get her thinking???? she dont know what she has.
2007-10-21 05:34:04 · update #2
Ya well should I be cool and just ask her about how stuff is with her...ect and not talk about us??? I know she totaly expects me to come in there 2 try to convince her something.I know i could move on and find someone else, I just dont want to throw it away because of what we had. I really think the reson this happened is just a bad last 1/2 for life, and a communication problem. should I give her a hug at the end? should i try to flirt w her? or should I just be mature and act like it is kinda a first date. She used to do alot 4 me. i just think she hit a stage and thinks I was controlling too much. i dont want 2 be at all, its her life i just want 2 be apart of it. i dont want her 2 think i am desperate. I just dont know how she could do this too me. i think i pushed her away and i want to slowly pull her back in. If this lunch goes OK, what should i do next and how long....... I know she will think that i will try 2 call her right after this lunch and convince her something.
2007-10-21 05:54:47 · update #3
Honestly i would just be chill. Do not beg or nothing just have lunch and be nice and all that. Do not let her think this is to get her back. Make it more like you stil want her to know you care but you are not going to push and beg. Have lunch talk about the good things in your lifes now. You can do it and who knows maybe after a few lunch dates like these she may be asking for you to come back. Good luck.
2007-10-21 05:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by T M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At your lunch meeting tomorrow just stay calm and ask how she has been doing, but don't go into the whole "where have you been, what have you been doing, who are you hanging out with" because that will just show that you are still "smothering" her. After the meeting, just give her time and space and if she contacts you then great, but if not then you need to move on.
Since the texting and the constant phone calls is what scared her away- don't make a big deal out of it but slip in a "Listen, I realized I was coming across a little controlling and after thinking about it- I realized I really don't want to be that way so I just wanted to say I'm sorry". After the lunch let her think about everything but dont start back calling and texting her a lot or it will just keep her away.
2007-10-21 12:32:58 · answer #2 · answered by Madison 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first thought is that you might be able to use some counseling around how you manage loss. You were too dependent on her for her comfort.
Please think this through, because no matter who you are with you may experience similar stresses at work, or elsewhere.
You need to have "Plan B" so that you don't crumble when your circumstances change . It sounds like you have a good start now, so review the expectations you have of the lunch.
Think about it from the standpoint of what she can contribute to YOUR life, as well as what you can give her. Both of your needs will have to be met for the relationship to thrive.
That means sacrifice and compromise from both sides.
Blessings,
Karen
2007-10-21 12:41:44 · answer #3 · answered by comfortyourheart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what can i do to make her think twice? Bring a date.
It is too soon to ask her to lunch. You are still desperately trying to get her back. Concentrate on you job, your finances and your health both mental and physical. You should not have asked her to lunch. Call and cancel. Be nice but aloof. Let her come to you in time.
By the way, when you call and cancel DO NOT call her back. Let her make the next move even if takes a year.
2007-10-21 12:33:55 · answer #4 · answered by casey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see her but let her pay the bill don't be so worthy of always being there for her, six years is a long time to throw away but on the other hand six years is yet to come. be her friend not her lover for a minuet see what happens, turn the table on her
but do it kindly & respectfully.
2007-10-21 12:37:06 · answer #5 · answered by j_hogue1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you really do care about her, but in her eyes you also could seem a little overbearing and may come off as controlling. I say this only because of all the emailing, calling, and texting. To her it may seem like you always need to know where she is and what she is doing. If you really want to be with her you need to back off. Calling is fine and texting and even emailing, but in moderation. You're lucky she's willing to meet with you for lunch, but I suggest that if you are willing to change you let her know, but then you have to show her that you really are changing. GOOD LUCK
2007-10-21 12:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by ~Sara~ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Probably just back off and she will have a chance to reflect on your relationship. If it's meant to be she will come back to you. You are right by too much attention driving her away. We tend to get clingy when we feel like we are breaking up. It's the wrong thing to do.
2007-10-21 12:31:35 · answer #7 · answered by ♥BrownEyedGirl♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
although it isn't easy to let someone go that you love; it is something that you have to do ; a real love doesn't need to beg , borrow or steal ; you deserve better and someone out there could be just waiting to meet you; heal yourself, give of yourself to others ; I wish you well
2007-10-21 12:33:26 · answer #8 · answered by sml 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know how you feel. Tell her what you said in the last sentence. Tell her you love her. You never know she could feel the same about you. Good Luck!
Tia
2007-10-21 12:33:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont know .. my experience is well i did everything for this girl i mean everything she took the p.iss out of me used me then dumped me the other day and now i am really missing her for some reason ..
My previuos relationship i was a comlete ba.stard and she was all over me what gives ???
Women you will never understand them .. Be yourself if that isnt good enough then its over
2007-10-21 12:32:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋