I am in love with one of my best male friends (in his 20s). After weeks of agony, we finally had 'the talk', wherein he explained that he doesn't want a girlfriend for at least a year, if not several, based on his bad experience with his last gf. They broke up a YEAR ago and he says he's just now realising he is no longer in love with her. He wants to see the world, have adventures, etc. He is constantly telling me how great I am in superlative terms; he is physically affectionate (arms around me, etc). I am wondering if when he says he wants 'adventures' it means he is not sure about his sexuality. I know I sound vain for suspecting his gayness based on his unwillingness to make a pass at me. But I do have a history of being a faghag and being a magnet for gay men (which is great except when I'm in love with him). What's going on? (1) he is really through with dating (this sounds implausible) (2) he is 'just not that into me' (3) he is confused sexually (he says not)
2007-10-21 05:06:28 · 4 answers · asked by beatrice 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You really can't tell, and really, it's not your business to figure out if he's gay. Just accept the fact that he isn't in to you and find a guy who is. Don't waste years on this one. you deserve better. Pretend he's gay and move on.
2007-10-21 05:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by Aiden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. When he says adventures he means he wants to go out and do all the stuff he couldn't when he had a girlfriend, he wants to be able to act stupid sometimes, be himself and not care at all what people think, at some point it will hit him though that he is missing something, and thats when you have to be there to show him what he is missing.
2. It's very hard to tell if he's into you or not because i'm just not in the situation but if he's putting his arm around and is physically affectionate in other ways than its likely that he'll eventually be affectionate emotionally soon also.
3. Just because he doesn't want to be with you right now isn't the deciding factor in his sexuality, it seems like you already know that and you are just worried because of the past, but don't let it be a deciding factor because, like you said, it's highly improbable.
2007-10-21 05:24:25 · answer #2 · answered by Ty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to Ask Him All these Questions,Dear! Only he has the real Answers and I hope that he would be honest about it to you! He needs to be! Alot of gay men marry women and later on divorce and get with a man and it's soo sad that they have to hurt others like that! When they could of been Honest up Front !!! and not have but someone through all that !! They even have kids with their wife and you know divorce hurts kids and familys !!! I wish they'd see how honesty would be best for everyone! So ask him and tell him to p[lease be honest about it and don't be neg. toward him about any of it . just let him know your a friend that loves him and he can be honest to you ! Also, if you think or feel he is gay then I would say most likey your feelings are right !!!!
2007-10-21 05:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not just ask him, at least you will know because he tried to talk to you and it seems you don't really believe his answer, so just ask and get it out in the open. he will either be glad the truth is out in the open or he will be mad and hurt but either way you will know
2007-10-21 05:26:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋