A Racist Question: When a guy mugs you twice, you become nervous when u see him or someone who reminds you of-

Question

him, right? So if you are mugged twice by one race, how do you avoid having a reaction when you see someone of the same race? Not exactly racism, because the body (or mind) reacts automatically. I live close to many and play a sport with some, but that doesn't prevent me from a fear reaction when I find myself on an elevator with someone of that race. You might say that, unconsciously, my inner mind has stereotyped that race, but how do you cure that condition of your mind? You can't just talk your subconscious into changing, when you react automatically.

No screwy religious answers, please.

Answer 1

That's like a wife who is in an abusive relationship. She will eventually be afraid of all men because of one. We have to remember we can't judge all by the actions of one or two.

People are people and we all have the same wants, needs and desires to live a life of peace and happiness and be able to enjoy our lives. Years ago when I was serving in Vietnam, I had to walk among many who I didn't know if they were friend or foe.

What I did discover was that at times I didn't carry a weapon and would walk into a village alone, the people were very friendly towards me, they would invite me into their homes, feed me and treat me like one of them. I found that they were exactly as I in their desire to live and love one another.

I lost a friend there and I could have easily hated the race because of that, but I knew that soldiers had a job to do and it wasn't a reflection upon the civilian population as a whole.

Don't let the actions of a few cause you to hate a whole race because in that race you will find many hidden jewels of people. I once, like you hated a race too, until one day, my life was in serious jeopardy and guess who, or should I say, what race my rescuer was?....The very one I despised...It gave me a change of heart and I've met many since who, as I said above, turned out to be absolute jewels...

Answer 2

If these muggings have left you with lingering fears and concerns it might be worth talking to someone about that, just a thought but it could help. Otherwise, I don't know. The only thing I can think of is when you do react like this just to keep reminding yourself that you know people of this race who have not mugged you or hurt you in any way. Think about the amount of people of this race you walk past every day without any of them trying to do anything to you. This will hopefully help you put things into perspective and lessen this problem for you. I guess it is kinda like retraining your brain not to react this way, a slow and gradual process but if you keep at it eventually it should work. Same as if someone had a squirrel jump on their head whilst walking under a tree they might be nervous of walking under trees in case the same thing happened again. However each time they walk under a tree without it happening their fear is lessened til eventually it goes completely. Does that make sense? These are my thoughts anyway, hope they are of some help.

Answer 3

That's not racist. I feel the same way. I grew up in a crappy neighborhood, and there was a lot of problems with people there of a certain nationality. Since then I have noticed the same problems occasionally.

It is not at all racist, and don't think it is. There are more differences between people of different nationalities than the color of their skin. People cannot help but to make inner stereotypes based on their experiences.

What would make you racist, however, is if you generalized everybody of this race and expressed your feelings verbally to them and/or people you know.

You're okay. And disregard the other person's comment about "Therapy". I think that was uncalled for. You don't need therapy.

Answer 4

Have you talked to anyone about this, it really sounds like you need to. I had a knife at my throat and a gun pointed at me in two separate robbery's. Being robbed happens so quickly and it becomes surreal playing the event repeatedly in your mind, as well as having to report it step by step to the police. I went and got some help now no longer remain with anger with this, I have just moved on with life. Something or someone you hate never knows or cares you hate it or them. You've created a personal defensive within yourself with a inner fear from this experience wanting to let your anger and emotions out for what was done to you. So now every time you see a similar type of person like who did this you silently blame and stereotype them as being just as and like the person who attacked you. I took me months before ever I would speak to any persons with red hair like my last attacker. So I went and seen a victims of crime psychologist who helped me with the post traumatic stress also the xenophobia and anger I had towards red haired people.

Answer 5

That is understandable. Your mind does things that you don't understand. The only advice I can give is just try to get to know more people of that race and talk to them about it and as for the help. Because 9 times out of 10 you can't do it alone. Good luck to you and it is good to hear that you want to fix the situation instead of just going with it and become a races person. Good for you!!!

Answer 6

You need to realize that you've made an illogical association. If on several occasions someone with brown hair steals your french fries, this is not an indictment of people with brown hair. The theft is occuring for other reasons. Similarly, crime is more rightly associated with greed or poverty, not race.

Answer 7

Any human could have mugged you. Mugging is not a racial issue. It is an issue of another human having a need for something, that the human only can get one way - by mugging.

But main issue is, that any human - no matter the looks - is able to mug another human if the need is there.

Answer 8

Well, by recognizing you do this puts you well ahead of most people . . . i think the only way to get over it is time . . . maybe in a few years if you avoid any more friction you wont feel so apprehensive. It doesnt make you racist, it makes you justifiably weary. If you were racist you wouldnt be worrying about how to get over it.

Answer 9

While it's not fair, it is the truth.... Human nature is to protect one's self - and when you are attacked by a member of a race/religion/sex your natural response it to no longer trust that group. Especially if it happens more than once.

It's not racism, it's self-preservation. Try not to let it take you too far, but, it's understandable.

Answer 10

Your thinking is flawed,you have to much fear.I was 14 years old when I was raped by a 19 year old white male,Do I run from all young white guys ,No that was a tragic isolated incident.