Can my fiance refuse a paternity test for her child?

Question

My girlfriend and I just took her ex boyfriend / the father of her child back to court for child support. He is currently paying 45 a week for child support.

He now disputes being the father, and wants a paternity test to be paid for by himself.

We don't really need the child support, and were wondering if we could just say, OK, you're not the father, leave us the hell alone so we could move on with our lives.

Does anybody know if that is possible since he already filed stating that he "denies that he is the father"...

Father is a drug addict, and dumps child at his parents house, kid comes home confused and extremely klingy to mom. In fact, he won't go to bed until she lays down with him.

For 6 years he wanted nothing to do with his kid, until she and I hooked up, then all of a sudden, he started calling 3 times a week, and wanted to see him every other weekend. We felt that since he was the father, we shouldn't deny the child from seeing his father. But now we wonder if it is in the childs best interest.

About the child support. We really don't want/need it. The filing for increasing CS was a knee jerk reaction to him all of a sudden wanting to be a father, we said, let him be a father, and let him pay to be the father. Now that he is denying it, we're ready to just agree to that we can all get back into our normal lives. The child cant do all of his school / extra curricular activites now that he is gone every other weekend, and gets very upset about it.... And wow, you all are quick...

Oh, and there is now doubt that he is the father. He was her first and only for 5-6 years. Child is now 7.

oi too late to type...
no noubt, he's the father, and he looks it...

Not enough details. Where do you live? Were him and her married? If so, are they now divorced? Is his name on the birth certificate? Is the child support that he’s paying court ordered?
We live in Florida. No, they were never married. Yes, his name is on the birth certificate. And yes, the $45 a week he is paying is court order, and several years behind.....

Answer 1

Not enough details. Where do you live? Were him and her married? If so, are they now divorced? Is his name on the birth certificate? Is the child support that he’s currently paying court ordered?

Those details matter, because in order to accurately answer the question, you have to know if he’s the legal father (if so, he’s now asking the court to disestablish paternity rather than to establish it and that’s a different thing).


EDITED TO ADD THIS AFTER YOU ADDED ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

If his name is on the birth certificate and the child support is court ordered, then paternity has already been established. Generally speaking, once paternity has been established courts are *extremely reluctant* to allow it to be disestablished, and especially years down the road. If you want to contest paternity, then you normally have to do it in beginning.

He can request a paternity test, but the court can refuse to order it. And they probably will.

But, no, you can’t just say, “you're not the father” because he is already the legal father and in order to change that, paternity has to be disestablished. And just like the court probably won’t allow him to do it, they probably won’t allow you to do it either.

However, once you marry, if you’re willing to adopt the child, then you can ask him if he’ll agree to voluntarily allow it. I’d betting he would, because it would relieve him of future child support payments, although, he’ll still owe any back support that’s due unless you agree to forgive it (and you can use that as a bargaining tool with him).

I’d suggest you discuss the situation with a local attorney. Many will give a free initial consultation.

Answer 2

I have no expertise in this area but I would imagine that if she isn't going to be asking for child support that she wouldn't need to have the paternity test performed.

However, I would suggest going ahead with the paternity test. If he is indeed the father it would be good to have that legally established. What if he comes into money in the future or if she needs money in the future? You may be there now but the future is always uncertain. This isn't about you being a provider or her not wanting to deal with the father- this is about the needs of a child.

As far as "moving on" with your lives, if the guy IS the father of the child you should accept that he may always be in your life. He may decide he wants to be more involved in the child's life in the future- some people change when it comes to things like that.

If the child is still a baby perhaps it will grow up seeing you as the father. Be careful what you assume if the child is older though- I'd suggest becoming familiar with Dr. Laura Schlessinger's work. Even if you don't agree with her, give her views a chance. You may find yourself agreeing with her more and more as you experience more and more, as I have (I couldn't stand her when I first heard her opinions, now I value them highly).

Answer 3

If he denies he is the father, he has to be willing to come up with the proof. He is offering to pay these charges.

By not allowing the paternity test, your GF is acknowledging that he may not be the father. It is her decision. Why not?

Personally, I think she should at least get enough out of him to cover the kid's expenses and then SAVE IT for the kid's education. $45 a week isn't anything at all.

Answer 4

Just take the test to know for sure for the child's sake. If he wants nothing to do with the child then you could adopt him/her and get on with your lives together as a family. Forty-five dollars a week is nothing and if you don't need it and if the father is okay with it, file the necessary paperwork and wave good-bye to him.

Answer 5

Probably not. Unfortunately for you, whether you want him to be a "father" or not he is the biological father and unless he either agrees or is ordered by the courts to have is parental rights terminated... he has rights. The fact that he is not listed on the birth certificate changes very little. You could refuse, the court may or may not intervene or it can be determined w/out scientific proof, i.e. if he knows he is the logical bio father, you were in a relationship upon conception etc....

Answer 6

Your gf could get him to sign away his rights also if you now claim he is not the dad he may sue for the cs back Oh and if he is on benfits me might get more money when the child visits with him which might be why he wants child after so long or his parents want to see his child!

Answer 7

Well, she can talk to him and get him to sign away his paternal rights. If he doesn't know that she doesn't want his money, then he probably is just doing this to avoid giving the money. If he can sign away paternal rights, then he won't have to pay child support. Then you can adopt the children as your own and take responsibility for them even if you and your girlfriend break up, if that's what you want.

Answer 8

I think she should get the paternity test to prove it to him once and for all and stop the argument, i'm sure the child will want to know his/her father eventually, especially concerning genetic diseases etc.

Answer 9

In some states, it doesnt matter if the mother doesnt want to collect shild support, the STATE is what will force the stated father to pay...so she couldnt really deny him the test. I would check your state law...

Answer 10

I'm pretty sure you have to go and get it or else you would be forfeiting that he isn't the father. but that would mean he would win and you don't want that he is the father he does deserve to see his child only he can do that don't do it for him.