how do i get my dad to stop drinking?

Question

okay.my dad is an alcoholic and i want to try to get him to stop.
he's made soo many promises and broke them soo many times.my mom,his mom,me,and my grandma have tried to get him to stop.so i know counciling is out of the question.he comes home drunk about 3 times mon.-thurs. and he stays drunk friday and saturday.every sunday he takes me out to the mall or movies as a ''sorry''.what should i do to try to get him to stop.asking wont help.i also brought up that i want him and my mom to divorce because he drinks so bad.that didn't work.what will?please help me.i love my dad and i dont want to see him get hurt for drunk driving or something stupid he might do.

Answer 1

Sweetie,

I wish I could tell you the answers to get your dad to stop drinking, but I cannot. You cannot make him quit nor can I. He has to want to stop drinking. Once he hits bottom, he will seek help. He knows AA is out there waiting to help him when he decides to quit. You should look for an Ala-non meeting for yourself. God bless.

Answer 2

He's got to hit rock bottom. He has to really feel the impact of his drinking for himself, like a metaphorical bullet whizzing past his face that makes him say "Wow... I messed up." Sometimes that opportunity doesn't come until somebody is dead or seriously injured, and it's usually not the alcoholic.

EDIT: you might want to try is speaking to the owners or managers of the bars and/or liquor stores he frequents and ask that they refuse to serve him. When he finds a new place tell them to do the same. If they won't refuse to serve him, then just appear at the bars he goes to and give him a guilt trip. Embarrass him. These options might just make him resentful and defensive, so might not work.
Like they say on that TV show "Intervention": he may never hit rock bottom, so you have to bring it to him by creating serious consequences for him if he continues to drink.

At a minimum, you should be declining his Sunday afternoon "apologies" to the mall or movies. In his mind, he is being redeemed for his behavior during the week.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to tell you this, but nothing you do can stop your dad. He has no control over his drinking and you certainly don't have any control over it.

Alcoholism is a terrible disease that affects not just the alcoholic, but also everyone around him or her. Sometimes the wife or husband of an alcoholic becomes trapped in a seemingly hopeless situation and feels powerless to make any changes for the better. Sometimes the children of an alcoholic become very bitter and angry with BOTH parents because of the situation they are forced to live in at home.

However, there is a lot that you can do to help yourself and the other members of your family to deal with his drinking and to avoid being damaged by it. Counselling may be out of the question for him, but not for you and the other members of your family.

Many organisations and counselling services for alcohol addiction also offer help to the families of alcoholics. Al-Anon is just one self-help group for people who are living with alcoholics or who have an alcoholic in the family. If you do a google search, you will be able to find details of a group near you. If you ask at your local health clinic, I'm sure they will also be able to give you contact details for other groups in your area who can give you advice and support. If you're still at school I'm sure your school counsellor will also have details of people or organisations that can help. Most of these groups are free to join and many people who go to them find that their lives change completely for the better with their help. If one group doesn't feel right for you, try another one - they are not all the same, and what works for one person or situation may not work for everyone.

Maybe one day your father will decide that he wants to stop drinking. Until then, you and your family need all the support you can get to help you deal with the pain, fear and confusion his drinking causes you. Try to be positive and remember that while you can't control your father's drinking, you can control how much you let it affect your life and your emotional wellbeing.

Try to say three things to yourself every morning.
1. Nothing I do today can stop my father drinking if he wants to drink.
2. Nothing I do today can make my father drink if he doesn't want to drink. (This is important because children often think it's their fault that parents drink and also because alcoholics always find an excuse to drink so they sometimes try to blame it on something you do)
3. My life can get better.

I'm glad that your father spends time with you on a Sunday, but you need to make it clear to him that even though you value this time with him and want it to continue, it does not make up for the damage his drinking does the rest of the week. If you can say this with love, not anger, he's more likely to listen.

Try to remember that it won't always be like this. Good Luck and Blessings

Answer 4

that's a crappy situation. i grew up with an alcoholic dad. not abusive -- hilarious, fun, and loving, but had a major drinking problem.

it was a very scary situation at times. i remember watching him drive on the wrong side of the road. i remember hiding his beer cans under the seats of his truck while he was drinking and driving when i was a little kid. scary scary stuff.

he went' into rehab and sobered up when i was in jr high after an intervention by many family members. he was clean for a few years and started drinking again when i was in college. a few years later, several family members tried to intervene again. my mom had kicked him out of the house, nothing worked. he had to be ready to do it on his own.

unfortunately with my father, it was health problems that finally prompted him to quit for good. but he did. it had to be when he was ready though.

i feel for you, unfortunately i have been in your shoes. there's not much you can do aside from tell him how much you love him and support him and tell him how much it would mean to you if he did.
aside from that not much you can do.

Answer 5

Jordan, you and I are in the exact same boat, i think i am a little older than you though. my dad drinks ALL the time. he is not the same person that he was and its only getting worse. All i can say, is that I have given up trying to make him stop. i poured out the liquor and replaced it with water, tea (whatever was the same color) i have cried, screamed, given the silent treatment, to no avail. he will not change until HE wants to change. i have accepted that and it hurts like hell, but thats all we can do. all we can do is pray, do what WE have to do. he will not stop until he hits rock bottom, and rock bottom could be worse than what he is now, i wish you luck and i hope you realizse that this is not your fault, and that you';re not alone. you should try to find al-anon meetings in your area; if you're a teen, try going to alateen meetings. it will help you cope.

Answer 6

I know you love your dad and it hurts to see him doing this to himself. There are a lot of options, some already noted but, the most important thing to know is this is his war and he doesn't even know who the enemy is yet. Once he gets that figured out things may get better. This is a decision he has to make of his own free will. Until then I would say pray for him.

Answer 7

You need to stage an intervention. The whole family, his friends and people from work need to confront him about his drinking. Be brutally honest. Refuse to cover up for him any more. He has to want to quit for it to work and he may have to hit rock bottom. I'm sorry but I can't blame your mom for wanting to leave him. That is part of the reality that could make him stop.

Answer 8

first ask your mom to keep a nise realation with ur dad .sleeping with him in night making him fulfil .so he will stop drinking but slowly .dont force him he will stop it

Answer 9

you can't.......it's something he has to do himself. NOONE else.