I was wondering how I can help a girl I know that has been abused. She isn't my girlfriend, but we have been getting really close lately and she has told me about her past. She was physically abused by her father until about the 7th grade. She has moved out of the house and is living on her own now. I don't know what to say or how to help her. I want to be there for her 100% but I have never been through anything like that so I can't fully understand what she went through. What can I say or do to help her?
2007-10-20 17:10:58 · 5 answers · asked by Mark T 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Say "I care" and "if you ever want someone to talk to I'm here for you".
Otherwise, treat her as normally as anyone else. If she is feeling "different" from others, to feel normal is likely her strongest desire.The healthiest thing for her is to be a part of your group of friends, and to be invited Realize that she has little money to live on, and invite her along with you and your friends when you can, even paying her way sometimes. .
2007-10-20 18:16:20 · answer #1 · answered by Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard to know what she is going through. I had a great upbringing. My family never touched me, they told me how proud of me they were, all the basic mommy and daddy stuff. My girlfriend was verbally abused by her mom, close to a rape from her brother's best friends, and we all think she was a rape when she was really young but kinda blocked it out. I cant help her worth a damn, because she wont tell me real things and i will never be able to understand because of that. If this girl is talking to you about this take advantage of it, get in depth with this girl, make her feel really safe around you, whatever it takes. Dont be her boyfriend, be her listener, she will eventually let it all out to you if you're lucky. If this really hurts for her to talk about and doesn't want to talk about it ever, then you're out of luck. You dont even have to do anything, sometimes what people need are just someone that will listen and not judge them, ask her questions to let her know you are listening, tell something about your past that does connect what she is talking about, its the best.
Dont be like me, dont screw this up. I dont know your age, but if you are in high school you can go to your counceler and talk to them about what else you can do.
2007-10-21 00:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be a good listener! It helps me to talk to talk about the abuse I went through!! don't ever make her feel threatened, even if you think you arnt you might be. I was abused by an ex! when my new boy friend put his hands on my shoulders to rub them I freaked out started to cry!! He didn't know that my ex tried to kill me by choking me and it scared me to have his hands that close to my neck! so be very gentle and careful. And always listen and reassure her that it is over now and you will be there for her!!
2007-10-21 00:31:37 · answer #3 · answered by bridget d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a good friend and listen when she needs to talk. Emotional support is extremely helpful. And also read: www.alice-miller.com
2007-10-21 00:33:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See sexual abuse: minors at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 20.
2007-10-21 07:21:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋