Suicidal thoughts?

Question

I keep having thoughts of suicide and what would happen if I died. It all has to do with an embarassing incident that happened in 7th grade that all my peers are sure to remember, please don't tell me they probably don't, because they do they don't tease me about it but they still talk (my friends tell me). I live in a small town so I can't get away from it, and I just feel so inferior to everyone and everytime I do something wrong it just amplifies what I already feel inside... I want to die. I haven't dated anyone and I'm in 10th grade, I have very few friends, and my parent's seem to be more concerned with my twin sisters than me. I just feel like I the world seems better off without me. What can I do to get these thoughts out of my head?

Answer 1

Without God's love, you will always crave more and more and never be content.

Without a friend that gives you an honest answer when you want one, who gives you one out of love, you will always feel some misery. And if you only have friends that flatter you, you may be depressed knowing that they are doing so because they want to take advantage of you in some way rather than truly loving you, or loving you with a pure love, love which isn't self-seeking.

Also, you may have a poor diet which is causing a chemical imbalance or making you depressed due to its blandness, have past trauma that is still bothering you because you don't know how to deal with it or because it was very painful, are encountering unpleasant smells often (like perhaps from a new rug which smells bad), have bland surroundings (you may want to decorate your walls with posters), have unpleasant parents, don't have friends or ones that give you bad to no advice when you ask for the help or when it's obvious you need it, you may have a boring getting-no-where life, or you may feel as if you're not getting your way in general (which frustrates everyone who feels that way).

I had problems with depression and suicide due to my parents neglecting my education, including knowledge about right from wrong, and not having much interesting or helpful to do. I also got bullied at school for how I was dressed and appeared before I was 14 and of course, instead of the bullies being punished I was the one who got stuck in a miserable substitute for a "normal" public high school and had next to no friends while there (and still have about none). Soon after attending that school I was bullied by the police off an on a few times. Other miserable things happened including being repeatedly kicked out and being mistreated at nearly all the jobs I had by coworkers or bosses who harassed me out of them. But, God saved me and helped me beat my depression and allowed and helped me to accomplish some great things that I can take comfort in having accomplished no matter how miserable. I'm still depressed sometimes, but it's not as bad now since he's opened my eyes.

Check out the link in my profile if you are interested in spiritual help, which I found has been a lasting and permanent solution heading towards perfect peace. I hope you show the link to others.

Answer 2

Hi Hilarie
Seems very hard for you right now and those worries about what, so called, friends are saying about you seem a big concern. I wonder if you can remember something equally embarassing someone else did about a year ago? Do people still talk about that? Do you still talk about it? So maybe in a years time, lets say, people will have forgotten this incident.

Meantime thoughts of suicide, I wonder if you can just explore them a little and just imagine how people would feel if you did it? Your parents, your (younger I imagine) twin sisters, those friends who talked about you, your best friend,aunts and uncles and grandparents. So if all those people would care about you if you were to take your own life, I am sure they all care for you to some extent right now. We can't choose HOW people love us, how they show their love for us, but when we face that question, we know they do. Love is a gift and we accept it just the way it is, with all its imperfections and we recognise those imperfections because we know we are not perfect either. So hang on in there, accept the love which people have to give you and maybe try to talk to one of your parents about how you're feeling - try to get their undivided attention "Mum, can we sit down and talk, there's something thats really worrying me" or something like that, how would that be for you? Could you do that? Or is there a counsellor at school you would trust, could you talk to him or her?
If it seems impossible to talk to anyone when you need to, call 1-800-784-2433 in the USA or 13 11 14 in Australia or 084 57 90 90 90 in the UK where someone will listen and explore your feelings in a non judgemental way.

Answer 3

Sounds like getting some professional help is a good idea.
Beyond Blue is an organisation devoted to increasing awareness and understanding of depression, anxiety and substance-use related disorders in the Australian community.
They will be able to put you in touch with a psychologist or a GP who can help you. You should visit http://www.beyondblue.org.au for more info and contact numbers.

Another thing you can do is contact the numbers below who can help you through these difficult times.
Lifeline 13 11 14
Kids Help Line 1800 55 1800
Suicide Helpline Victoria - 1300 651 251
NSW Rural Mental Health Support Line 1800 201 123

I think it is a good idea to speak to your parents about these feelings as well because you are the most important thing in their lives and they will help you.

Speaking from experience, suicide is a devastating thing and I really hope you do get some help.

Answer 4

First of all, take a deep breath. Open your mind and let yourself take this in: YOU ARE YOUR OWN UNIQUE PERSON. No matter what you think, the world would NOT be better off without you. You are, I'm sure, a wonderful young lady, and you do not deserve to die. If your thoughts seem to be taking over your mind, you really should see a counselor. There are some fabulous counselors out there who really care. Sometimes it's hard to see how beautiful life is when we're drowning in our own pain. Don't give in to these terrible thoughts, that's exactly what Satan wants you to do. I don't know if you're religious, but he'll be winning if he can have your soul. Don't give in, okay? You can make it through this, and it won't always hurt this bad. Life is a miracle in and of itself, and I hope you can see that. I'm sure there are many people in your life that love you very much, even if you feel as if they don't right now. God bless. <3

Answer 5

I had the same thoughts and I had them alot. You know what broke me of them? Seeing what would happen if I did take my own life.
Sadly, my best friend hung himself a few months back. Seeing his parents and friends who were just destroyed, seeing all the pain he had caused, it was incredible. I had to hold me dead friends hand and look at the bruises he had to from trying to get that rope from around his neck at the last moment. All I could think was it was such a permanent solution to his issues, all of which could have been fixed in time.
Sometimes life is terrible. People are terrible to each other, and things can really hit bottom and fall apart. It is worth it to live through the pain and come out the other side, even if it takes a while. It is better than causing others the pain I still feel from my friends death. I still expect him to call any day. Don't make anyone miss you like this. Suicide kills everyone.

Answer 6

Depression comes and goes, but life goes on. Life isn't supposed to be easy. Life is supposed to be beautiful. Life is supposed to be precious.
I think if truth be told, all of us have had some thoughts to the effect that the world would be better off without us; but none of us knows of the people we'll touch, and the difference we'll make. It is impossible to see what a hole we will leave in this world when we're gone.

Answer 7

i dunno what sex u are but there are 3 things my father said that are garunteed in life if ur a guy.

1) you'll be offered drugs
2)someone will point a gun on you someday
3)you'll consider suicide

im already 23 and all those have happened to me in my time. what makes u a strong person is being able to deal with each of those in the rite matter. u have to think that ur the most important thing to urself. if u would consider suicide y let them win. instead just beat the **** out of whoever is saying that and i promise that no one will even say **** behind ur back cuz they'll respect that its personal to u. y hurt urself when u could hurt someone else?

Answer 8

Try this. Remember the cursed diary in HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS? Write a cursed diary. Think of a negative thought or bad memory you want to get rid of. Feel it like a dark sludge stuck in your head you want to get rid of.

Feel the sludge ooze out of your head, down your arm, and out your hand as you write about the memory onto a piece of paper. Write the memory or thought until you feel the sludge has poured out of your body into the paper. The paper holds that evil thought now.

Take the paper holding that thought and destroy it. Tear it up, burn it, scatter the ashes to the wind. That evil thought is now gone from your mind and your life.

Trust me, it works. It may take a few times, but the memories get weaker.

Do this every day. Lay down in a quiet room, close your eyes, and take slow deep breaths. make each inhale and exhale last as long as you can.

First say to yourself "I feel my toes relaxing." and they will. Then say "I feel my ankles relaxing" and they will. Go all the way to the top of your head until you reach the top of your head.

Imagine that as you exhale that red smoke it blowing out your mouth as you exhale, taking away all the stress with it. As it goes out of you, you'll feel your body getting lighter.

Just lay there, calmly breathing, blowing out the stress, for about 20 minutes.

If any of this makes sense to you, email me, I'd be glad to help you all I can.

Answer 9

aawww gurl dont feel that way!! if it hapend in 7th grade then it should matter anymore. nobodys perfect, especially those @$$holes who keep bringing up old stuff like that. just ignore them theyr not worth u getting rid of ur life just play it of and talk to them as if nothing happend. if worse comes to worse then maybe its time u ask to move and start new. or get in a hooby that keeps u from thinking thoses things or in a religion or something iono if u need any one to talk to then talk to me at http://www.myspace.com/everydays_cinco_de_mayo

Answer 10

Contact Lifeline for some counselling.