Who else really dislikes their father?

Question

My dad has been non-communicative, unpredictable and detrimental to me my whole life. I'm 19, still living under his roof. What makes it worse is that if I was to tell him how I felt, that he's not made me feel loved, been there for me or provided a wholesome influence, he'd do one of three things: become enraged and insulted that I'd say such things, be completely shocked that I felt the way I did or say he would change...but as past efforts have dictated, he never changes. What can I do, not to change my dad, but to feel better about myself, and stop feeling as if I'm not worth anything because he doesn't pay attention to me? He causes me so much sadness, and he doesn't even know...I can almost say I hate him, but hate is a very strong word.

Answer 1

My dad just died he was always a dead beat. I'm not even sad. We weren't close.

Answer 2

Well, I have this same problem, then one day, I thought about all the things that made him just a human. I realized that my dad is just a man. That really helped, you put them up on a pedestal thinking, they have to understand life way better than you, but, in truth, they are still trying to figure it out. My dad is just a man, just another person who had the same issues with his fathers, born of an age that ridiculed men for showing their emotions. He is a product of his times and circumstances, as are you. There is a difference though, you are you, and you are trying to change, you want to improve yourself, there is hope for you.
Your dad is just a man.
You are just a man, but, you've got potential.
Figure out some of the things you want to do, like say learn karate, or learn Spanish, whatever. Then research it, if you can afford to take classes, do so, as long as you are doing something, you can feel proud that you are trying to improve yourself, something even your dad couldnt do.

Answer 3

I h8 my dad. Hes a dead beat loser. He was abusive physically and mentally to me until the time i was 8. He tried to kill me n my mom cuz we dont hav blond hair, blue eyes. He thinks hes a nazi. Hes ben in the pavillion more times than i can count and he threatend to kill me a few months ago cuz i didnt answr my phone. He hit me in the face with a can of beans wen i was three and yelld at me cuz i was cryin cuz he gav me a black eye. I hav nightmares bout him alot and he wonders y i dont evr call him. He's gay and he was cheatin on my mom with a dude. If he died or anythin, i would b sad, but it wouldnt b that hard to get ovr it. I kno its terrible, but he's not the best person in the world. I think u should move out. Ur of legal age.

Answer 4

my father is almost the same as yours, there are a lot of mixed emotions in the relationship between my dad and me. It always hurt s a lot when your father does not express his love for you. In my case, my father does not know how, i try not to blame him or hate for that. but it's hurt. the only thing i learn to do is to break of the unhealthy relationship that my father and i shared, and maybe thats the solution for you and him. this might sound like you are giving up on your father, but in some situations, thats the only thing you can do, Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. its not worth it.

Answer 5

My husband is over 30 and still has issues with his Dad for the same sorts of things during his childhood.

I am sorry that you are in so much pain, and sorrier still that this pain will haunt you for years to come.

Please check out this book. I hope that it will help you as it has helped us.

Answer 6

Have not spoken to mine in 20 years and dont plan on going to the funeral. He knows why.

Answer 7

Me too. I'm only allowed to speak to him to ask for money, of which he gives me tons. He replaces love with money. He used to be uh...violent. But now hes just detached. It awful.