My dad left 27 years ago for another woman. When my mom died 2 years ago I found my dad's address and phone# on the internet. So I called him. But he hung up on me. I haven't tried calling him again. Was I wrong to try to find him or call him. I want to see him. Is it wrong for me to want that ?
2007-10-20 11:38:25 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No its not wrong.
But, there may be a cause of him leaving. It may not have been solely him going after another chick. For the hanging up part, he may not have known your mom had died. And if he did, he may have thought that you wanted hiom for money or something.
Writew a letter and send it to him. Tell him you just wanrt to see him. no money, no help none of that. Just a daughter wanting to see her dad.
2007-10-20 11:42:49 · answer #1 · answered by seanpatrick77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that is not wrong of you to want to see your dad. If you were very young when he left than you most likely feel a void in your life because you never got to know your biological father. It's a very sad and tough situation because he left 27 years ago and has not spoken to you since and unfortunately, he might not want to because of his previous actions. I would give him some more time because from your phone call he will be thinking about the past and you for a while. Maybe try calling again in a couple of months and if he still does not want to speak to you then you will have to accept that.
Sorry you are in a tough spot and I hope things work out for you.
2007-10-20 11:45:54 · answer #2 · answered by Madison 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, we are on opposite sides of this one so maybe this will help. I wrote my dad off 15 years ago and couldnt care less if he ever darkened my doorway again. he wants to contact me, so says my brother but the guy is a dick, he was just the guy that impregnated my mom and then thrashed on us as kids in his drunken rages. So i say later. i am an adult and dont need his **** any longer. i have my own kids now that i love and have NEVER hit or done that crazy **** to.
So, The difference is that you want a connection, that's hard, yeah, you are entitled to want it, you just cant control what he wants. sounds like maybe he doesnt' want that part of his life anylonger. sounds like a bit of a coward. maybe you could write a very complete and heartfelt letter to him. see what happens. do your part and then if he never follows through, well you did your end. sorry it's not a happy ending, I'd guess his wife may not even know you exist. like he started a whole new life or something. parents arent chosen, we just get what we get. wish it were different sometimes. love yourself and be good to you. good luck.
2007-10-20 11:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a VERY individual decision. No one can tell you if wanting to see him is right, or wrong. He might have hung up because he doesn't want that part of his life brought up, or he may have hung up because he was surprised and wouldn't have known what to say. You sound like this is really important to you. Try calling again, he may be more ready this time. You are his daughter for the rest of your lives.
2007-10-20 11:42:03 · answer #4 · answered by mkayk55 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to want to talk to your father but he has the right to not want to be found even though it doesn't say anything positive about the kind of person he is.
Why don't you try writing him a SHORT letter and send it snail mail. Just state that you would like to talk with him or see him but that if he doesn't want you in his life, you will not bother him again. Be sure to include your phone number and your full address. Then it's up to him.
2007-10-20 11:50:32 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry about your mom. No, it's not wrong to want to speak with your dad. I wish that I had looked for my dad, but it's too late now. He was much, much older than my mother, so I'm certain he is dead now (he'd be 100!). The point is that you will probably regret it later if you don't try to contact him. However, if you do decide to try again, and he makes it clear that he doesn't want to know you, then you have to let him go and move on with your life.
2007-10-20 11:43:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunt him down! I do not care if you want to see him or not, hunt him down and get your money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooo sick of dead beat dads. Let him know what your mama had to go through on her own, let him know how wonderful you turned out, but all of the heartache he put you through. Make him feel like crap for taking off! This dirtbag may be worth some $$$. Maybe he don't want the new wifey knowing about his past. Couriosity is normal, find him and let him know he is an a**!
2007-10-20 11:46:22 · answer #7 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad was not part of my life for most of it. Now as an adult we have a great relationship. It has taken time, and getting to know each other but, I would trade my relationship with him for nothing. i think you deserve to know who he is. Maybe try writing him a letter, and let him know that you have no expectations that you would just like to meet him, to know where you came from. I had to first forgive my dad for his absense, and let him know that before I persude a relationship with him....Best Wishes to you, I hope you get to know him, just don't get your hopes up, you may be better off without him, but still you need to make that decision
2007-10-20 11:46:47 · answer #8 · answered by HisPrincess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong.I would try again and if he hangs up on you again I think you have the answer.I wish you loads of luck Honey.Maybe ask him for his address and say you'd like to write a note to him.This way he can weigh if he wants to continue a relationship with you..or not...
He may think you want money?Good Luck.
2007-10-20 11:46:12 · answer #9 · answered by waterlover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is absolutly nothing wrong with trying to find him. thats perfectly normal and very caring. i wouldnt go to the effort just yet about visiting him. if he hung up on you once he can shut the door on you. i would try to call him again... maybe he was busy.
2007-10-20 11:42:45 · answer #10 · answered by Kendall 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋