middle aged, patriarchal, Christian fathers?

Question

Do most of these men still live in the mindset that women are to obey them, serve them and be seen and not heard? I know it's not good to generalize... what are your thoughts on this? Is Christianity partly to blame for this? Is it their age and how their generation grew up? I am trying to understand the examples that I know of...

Is there any way to help them see and know the value of women so that they can learn to treat them as equals?

If you are a man that falls under this category, let us know what you think. Thanks.

Answer 1

Let me tell you a story, if you don't mind. It does pertain to this question, and I hope you see that.

My mom and dad had the ideal Christian marriage, the kind that was actually discussed in the New Testament. But was it horrible? Well, let's see:

My mom was born in '38, and my dad in '34, so you can imagine which generation they belong/belonged to (only my mom is still living). My mom had two jobs outside the home her entire life: She worked as a cashier before she met my dad, and then when we lived in South Carolina, she worked part-time with him. Her main focus, however, was raising four children, cleaning house, and cooking.

My dad, on the other hand, sacrificed everything, including ultimately his life, to support his family. He loved my mom and us kids so deeply that he worked right up until his health had deteriorated to the point where he absolutely couldn't.

So what was my parents' marriage like? Well, I was only ten when my dad died, but I've been able to piece some things together from my siblings (who are all much older than me), and from what my mom has told me. My parents had an extraordinarily close relationship. My dad literally saw my mom as being nearly perfect. He valued her intelligence, her background (she comes from a very decent family), her talent with the piano (she's semi-professional), her sense of humor, her beauty, her compassion... He let her know this without actually telling her directly (you know how men are), but she knew just the same.

The night before my dad died, my parents held hands in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. They were married for almost thirty five years.

My dad really was the backbone of my family. He was steady, faithful, hardworking...everything a man should be. He did believe that a woman should not have to work, but this has nothing to do with women being inferior. He believed my mom was perfectly capable of working. It's just that as the man, he felt that it was his job to shelter her from that.

Personally, I wish my husband was more like my dad.

Like I said, my parents' marriage was everything a Christian marriage was supposed to be. My mom was just as in love with my dad after nearly thirty-five years of marriage as she was when they first started dating, and the same goes for my dad, with his feelings towards my mom.

Why would anyone not want that?

As for the men you mention, they're not living according to ALL the guidelines for marriage in the Bible. It's typical of people to pick the ones they like, and stick with those. They read "Wives, submit to your husbands," but they don't read on to where it says (and I'm paraphrasing because I don't feel like copying the exact scripture) "submit to one another in love" and "husbands, be willing to sacrifice for your wife as Christ did for His church" and "love, honor, and respect your wife. He who mistreats his wife mistreats himself."

When a person follows ALL of those, they wind up with a marriage like my parents'. In any situation, someone has to lead, and someone has to follow. In the natural order, the men are supposed to be the leaders, because they're stronger physically, and more reflex-oriented (throwback to caveman days, where men hunted and women gathered?). It has nothing to do with intelligence. If it did, obviously women would be the leaders. ;-)

I hope this helps.

Answer 2

Yes, religion is partly to blame, because it helps perpetuate an ancient patriarchal culture, instead of allowing it to die out or transform into something better.

Some men truly cherish their wives and treat them well and as equals. Others have grown up being taught that women are to serve and obey. If they see it and live it and have it reinforced in their religious beliefs, that's what they're going to do themselves.

As long as there is religion, there will be people who think and live this way. If it's their choice to do so (as opposed to it being mandated), that's fine with me, as long as they do not try to push the idea onto anyone else.

This is not saying I think all Christians act this way, but I have also seen the "you my woman" idea in practice, and would love to see it abolished.

Answer 3

I'm middle aged but hardly patriarchal. It does not apply to any age group. I was in the grocery store recently and a boy working there was trying to flirt with the cashier. I joked to him "Women rule the world, young man. The sooner you realize that, the easier your life will be." He looked stunned and said "Uh, I can't ever believe that". I smiled at the cashier and asked "Not dating material, is he?" and she laughed while saying "Nope!"

And, my late father certainly didn't act like he was the Lord God and King of the house. He treated my mother with an easygoing kindness and respect, which she returned.

Answer 4

I wonder why some men seem to be afraid of strong, independent women. I like 'em that way. In a relationship I want an equal partner, not a pet.

Answer 5

It will probably take another generation before that mindset is completely and utterly abolished from the world.

Answer 6

My husband and me have been married 45 year,s and
he has never treated me like that,we respect each
other and love one another and if you don't have faith
in each other you do not have a marriage.

Answer 7

initially, you purely have the define of the Torah, interior the OT. there's a ways, plenty greater to those rules that are actually not discovered interior the written Torah yet are part of the Oral Torah. the two are part of the full Torah, in accordance to Judaism. the female interior the Exodus and Deuteronomy verses you quote constantly had the choice to no longer settle for the rapist as her husband, in spite of what her father agreed to or no longer. apart from, she may additionally divorce him. The rules of divorce in Judaism are exciting. a female could divorce her husband despite if he ameliorations jobs, by way of fact his prestige could have replaced from what she married. additionally, a Jewish female then AND now ought to divorce her husband if he did no longer supply her with sexual delight. he's to constantly be observing for indications that she is wanting to have relatives with him, and he's to oblige her AND in doing so, fulfill her sexually. in fact it relatively is between the situations that the husband is legally obligated to offer alongside with nutrients, guard, and garments. the criminal duty isn't legally upon the female to offer the husband with sexual delight even regardless of the undeniable fact that she won't be able to consistently withold intercourse as a potential of punishment or different unreasonable motives. the criminal duty to be fruitful and multiply is likewise the guy's no longer the female's, in accordance to Torah regulation. there is plenty greater to the define of rules which you spot interior the OT (which isn't an identical factor by way of fact the Torah besides), P.S. Why ought to Christians save on with something interior the Torah to boot their very very own covenant there, the 7 Noahide rules? something of the Torah grew to become into in no way meant for non-Jews, and non-Jews did no longer save on with it then. They lived of their very very own communities with their very very own rules, their very very own customs, their very very own gods. Non-Jews weren't held to Jewish regulation by making use of the Jews, except they lived interior the homestead of a Jew. once you pay attention Christians say that Jesus "freed them from the regulation", it relatively is a lie. They weren't in any respect decrease than the regulation interior the 1st place, hence there grew to become into no longer something to loose them from. To J: No they werent. no longer Jewish women people.

Answer 8

in centuries, males have falsified the bible
and adjusted it according to their chauvinism.
I would love to read the gospel of maria magdalena.

Answer 9

Why be concerned with the things, study the word of God of Jesus.