advise please?

Question

My hubby's sis has always been nasty to me. She always makes indirect comments towards me that make me feel small all the time. My MIL defo knows what her daughters doing but pretends to act like she likes me. As soon as I show them I am insecure about something they use it against me. For e.g I feel upset that I have gained a little weight recently from a size 8 to a 10, my in laws know this because I am so open. Recently I have limited my time with them becase of the nasty rumours they spread about me. Me & my MIL were in the supermarket & she told me that I have gained weight, this is not true I have actually lost weight but thats besides the point. What upsets me is the way my hubby's family try to use my insecurities to put me down. I want to be able to stick up for myself. I want to play them at there own game but I dnt know how? What should I do the next time my MIL or SIL say things like that

Answer 1

Don't play their game.
You are bigger and better than that!
Develope a thick skin....let their comments bounce off you.
You are sensitive and open....lovely attributes in a person.
Focus on your positives...You will soon feel more able to defend yourself.
Try not to mention to them anything you feel insecure about...They are not the sort of people who can be trusted with that.
If you need some advice reguarding any insecurities ...tell a really good friend. Someone who will listen and not judge you.
Good luck

Answer 2

Hello, this is a sad case but a very easy solution. Most people think that walking away from a situation is the answer, or like you said playing with them on their level will be beneficial, but that's not the answer.
The answer is confrontation. Yes, you must understand that no one understands your pain and at best people can only relate. \
The only reason people have to stop what their doing is if you tell them to. When your MIL is SIL says something negative to you it's important that you tell them how that makes you feel and that it is not welcome. You must be direct, open and self assured about the point you're making. ....read self alliance and people don't understand @ www.onistsense.com. Under the category Onist Reality

Answer 3

This bunch is going after you because you give them the reactions they are looking for... if you quit feeding them, they will have to move on to their next victim for amusement.

Why in the heck are you spending any time with your in-laws? The MIL is feeding info to the SILs. These people think they can run their brother's marriage, or ruin it by running you off.

Has your husband ever cut the apron strings? Is he still at his mother's beck-and-call? Does she come first? You really need to have a talk with him. If he feeds them, you can't expect anything to change for the better.

This is about boundaries.
You need to learn not to give any information to these twits.
If you are not sharp enough to turn things around on the gossip front, then you need to keep your distance.

Answer 4

you can pick your nose and your friends, but not your family...what a shame. I feel so bad for you for being in this and it seems your spineless husband doesn't want to be in the middle of this.

Well, here's what the Empress thinks...you know you lost the weight. And great for you! You DON'T need to impress anyone but yourself...not even your husband. If the in-laws don't like it, too bad! They are obviously SO insecure, that they have to turn to bashing you to feel better about themselves and this is very sad.

A quote from Eleanore Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

Answer 5

its sad that they are treating you like that. have u tried to talk to ur hubby? if he doesnt react then u have to do something. sometimes its good to treat people the way they treat you. u could also make a nasty comment abt ur SIL. well its not a very good method but it helps sometimes

a second option is just to ignore themthey will get tired of talking about you

third option take a break, go somewhere alone to think things over. it helps

good luck