This is going to be a long one. First, there is just so much background to how my mother and I's realtionship has gotten to be the way it is. Ill give you major highlights. She lost cusdoity of me and my sister about 7 or 8 years ago. I am currently 13. When she lost she became an alcholic and got a crazy physco boyfriend who treated us very badly and constantly was screaming at us. Little by Little I grew to honestly hate her even more. Now, she is struggling badly when it comes to money and she is very hard to get along with. SHe is constantly yelling at the kids for little things and I am sure they are getting to feel the way I did 5 years ago. The situation today is that she was trying to relieve some stress and thought we would all go out and do something nice. I had no idea we were going and was did not shower yet today. I told her I needed to take a shower and from that point on anything I said to her she would yell at me and call me a snobby brat. Honestly I dread coming ....
2007-10-20 08:44:48 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
here every weekedn and cry and ask my dad to not make me go, but its the law. I have to. Anyway By the second or third time i got yelled at i was tired of then we got in to a shouting argument. SHe is leaving me here at the house and making my dad come get who is 3 hours away. What do I do to make this better? What can I say to her so she really knows how I feel without getting into a huge arguement? PLease help!
2007-10-20 08:47:09 · update #1
She is now not an alcholic but she still has problems. I dunno what to do when I was younger her being and alcholic made me dislike her a lot. Leading up to now.
2007-10-20 08:50:42 · update #2
try to stay wit a friend or someone VERY Close anad not go to ur dads and about your mom have a heart to heart and tell her about the Phsyco Boy Of Hers
2007-10-20 09:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. You seem like a hormonal teen. (I know - I also hate that word.) Just do the chores. Simple. Don't think of her that way. It will make it worse. Try to relax around her, it should calm you down. Try to have some fun with her. You are only what, like 14 years old? You don't need to spend all of your time with your friends. Spend some time with her for a change. I am going into grade 11. My mother and I go to kids movies once or twice a month still to have some fun. You are still a kid. Try to be a responsible young adult. Help out around the house, keep your room clean and get good grades. That's all it takes to make a parent happy. Also, making new friends is not hard - at all. It is like a new beginning. It is very refreshing and you will meet lots of great new people. It will be fun. Also, try not to be so negative about everything. I know teenagers are pretty negative overall...(I am a teenager. I have my likes and dislikes - but I try to maintain an open mind and good attitude.) Good Luck
2016-05-23 22:10:00 · answer #2 · answered by paris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You yourself cannot really do anything about the situation. She has real serious issues that SHE needs to work out. She should seek some professional help, but it's up to her to get that help. Just be there as much as you possibly can for your younger siblings though. I'm sure she's treating them the same way.
Express your feelings to your dad also and let him know what is going on. He could get in touch with a lawyer and see what he could do legally about the situation. If it went to court though be prepared to possibly testify against your mother. The system might order her to seek counseling, parenting classes, alcohol/substance abusesupport group as well. It all really depends though on state laws, whether or not your dad will/can do anything, and your mother.
In the mean time talk to someone like a school counselor, look online for support groups, etc.
2007-10-20 09:26:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if your Mom WAS an alcoholic, she still is an alcoholic....she may be a recovering alcoholic but it doesn't ever go away...you don't get cured you are in recovery. Your Dad can take this whole matter of alcohol abuse and emotional abuse back to court and try to get the custodial rights taken away until she changes and is able to prove she has changed her ways. Hang in there though, if she ever starts hitting you guys refuse to go. No judge is going to demand you abide by the law and be put into a situation like you are describing. Good luck.
2007-10-20 09:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you don't HAVE to see her if you are uncomfortable around her. You can talk to a counselor or a hotline and they can tell you how to keep from having visitation with her ( I don't know where you're from, so this varies). Maybe if you told a counselor about her alcoholism then they could advise you as far as ways to get her some help. If you offered to go to AA meetings with her she may be more apt to go with some emotional support. I have never been through this myself, but I hope some of this helps you. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-10-20 09:01:01 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Fancy♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, your mother is abusive.
You need to ask your dad to take you to the family court that awarded custody and visitation rights.
Explain things to the judge and ask him to change the visitation rights to "supervised visitation" so you and the other kids don't have to deal with all the yelling or the psycho boyfriend.
2007-10-20 09:36:14 · answer #6 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your father what is going on..you may not want to but if you do than he can have the custody rearranged so that she has none and you do not have to see her (or you can make that choice, once a year or never, type of thing) Have you told your 'mother', I'm sorry but its a term to use very loosely, what you are feeling? My mother and i use to have a lot of problems, i remember trying to tell her and she got made and didn't believe me after a while of me continually telling her she started to change...mind you i only got the guts to tell her four years after it started...it took one whole year of me telling her how i feel..eventually our relationship got to the point where we are best friends...i no this doesn't happen in a lot of cases but i think you should tell her how you feel..even if you decided to change the custody or not...MEANING...tell your father and if you want tell your 'mother'.
2007-10-20 08:57:28 · answer #7 · answered by Laura Elizabeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, this is a very complicated situation. When you read this go to www.onistsense.com Read forgiveness and expectations these post will certainly help you. Good Luck
2007-10-20 09:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by onist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK I'm 12 right well i guess i wouldn't really know the answer to that my mom died but i have a step mom and we don't get along the best she has giving me a black eye and almost choked me to death but i know if u tell it helps i almost got killed until i told someone so that's my answer take it or leave and good luck...........
chellsea
2007-10-20 08:52:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
she is still ur mom though. my parent got divorced and then i started seeing my dad in saturdays i think. when i was little. then it stopped 4 some reason. tell her how u feel. she is ur mom. tell it to her straight. then she will know how u feel and she will do her best to change her self for u
2007-10-20 08:58:31 · answer #10 · answered by Mr.Sleepy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋