I find it hard to forgive my dad. He has never been there for me, and I'm 15. Ever since I was born, he's been in and out of jail, promising to do better, yet he never does. He smokes crack and drinks alcohol, spending more on that stuff, than he ever will on me. He would rather get high than see his daughter.
I used to stick up for him when I was younger, saying that there was nothing wrong with him. I would cry & cry because of what everyone said about him. Now, I don't want anything to do with him. I tell him that I forgive him and I love him, yet I have so much anger and hurt inside of me, and I can't love someone whom I don't even know. I think what he has done to me makes me cautious about the boys I hang around.
No one understands how much pain I go through every day. I try to stay strong, but it seems impossible. How can I heal from this, because this is going to destroy me?! I tried talking about it to people, but they never understand. My mom doesn’t care, my grandma is actually friends with him, and I only have two friends. I don’t feel comfortable talking about it with them.
2007-10-20 08:35:50 · 6 answers · asked by ♥ Nichole[never gives up]♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sorry for it being so long. But please, I'm begging. Someone respond! This is my last attempt to get some sort of help.
2007-10-20 08:37:33 · update #1
Your pain is something that is telling you to reach out and help him, yet on the other hand, your anger with him may prevent you from wanting to correct the situation.
If your dad is a veteran and has served in Iraq or Afghanastan, it may be due to PTSD.
If he is not, then it is the chemical dependancy that's causing the problem. Older people turn to alcohol and drugs to hide deep emotions, many can't face or deal with things and often shut out those that love them, and after a while, their loved ones will turn their backs on them.
Honey, he needs help, but remember, "it's not your fault"
Hope this helps a little, and hang in there, you are young yet and life does not get easier, but I can tell by your honest question (not like most of the junk showing up here) that you are smart and will deal with it in time.
Good luck
Ron
2007-10-20 08:48:15 · answer #1 · answered by Sgt Big Red 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
{{{{Empress Hug for you}}}} you poor dear...you are the one being the adult while dad is being the child. He is an addict. Plain and simple. He tells you all will be 'well' but the drugs have ravished his body and brain, and it's sad. You have every right to be mad, sad, angry, furious, alone, etc. He betrayed you when he decided to do drugs. You need to find a counselor locally that you trust who can help you through this. This is a long journey to help you understand (1) his addiction and (2) how to help you heal from his ignorance of it all. Take each day, ok? one step at a time. Mom was probably pretty fed up with dad, therefore dad is relying on you. You're just a kid and you deserve to be a kid. Talk to a teacher at school to help you find a counselor - do not go through this alone...please!
2007-10-20 16:16:36 · answer #2 · answered by Empress Jan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a lot of people, their family is the first set of obstacles they have to overcome.
About all you can do is work hard to be the very best person you can be.
I did find a tool you might can use... Emotional Freedom Technique. Go to the website below and download the free instruction book... how to do the actual technique starts around page 20. You can release a lot of heartache in this way, or pre-test anxiety, or whatever. The website has a searchable database.
2007-10-20 16:41:36 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 15. i'm trying to find my father. he left b4 i was born. Does he really want help? if so, try to help him. the way you're hurting... well, maybe inside he is too. If they're rally ur friends then u shouldn't feel uncomfortable talking to them about something. he's always going to be ur dad i guess. you could have a, um, i think it's called an emancipation, where you go off and can be a legal adult and have no relationship with him and ur mom. Learn from his mistakes if nothing else i guess, and just live ur life. best of luck to you. sorry i cna't be of more help. ^_^
2007-10-20 15:53:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's still ur dad no matter what.. the only solution to this is to go on with your life, do something productive, make good grades. make money in the right way.. in the long run, ur dad will realize what he missed and who knows u might be an instrument for him to change.
2007-10-20 15:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by Moi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make him feel bad by ignoring him?
2007-10-20 16:00:48 · answer #6 · answered by LemonLimeGirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋