It's driving me nuts!! all my friends are nice people but ofcourse sometimes we drink a few beers and go to hookah bars and dance for fun.
But! here's the thing, my boyfriend does not smoke or drink and he never wants to hang out when im with my friends or go to hookah bars or lounges (he claims he got nothing to do there because he doesnt dance well) And most of the time i end up being in the middle of three couples and one or two single guys bothering me, i want my boyfriend to be there when i go to those places but just the thought of smoking or drinking gets him really angry (his father passed away from those habits and he swore to him he wouldnt do any of that) he hates being around my friends even more now because he already knows they smoke and drink and he does not respect them. Plus! i am half russian and all my friends are russian and he is irish so sometimes my friends start talking russian, its a habit and he feels uncomfortable. And they got nothing in common
2007-10-20 08:18:14 · 19 answers · asked by pussicatpuk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
do you think i could tell him to at least pretend he likes them! and hes here not because of them but me... then again he likes to be social also and they got nothing in common to talk about!!
2007-10-20 08:22:32 · update #1
Everyday he loves you less and less.
2007-10-20 08:21:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"he is Irish so sometimes my friends start talking Russian, its a habit and he feels uncomfortable. And they got nothing in common".
I think the answer is staring you right in the face.
If he really was committed surely he would take the opportunity to learn a little Russian.
Besides, you shouldn't trust a man who doesn't drink. It generally means it is because they are scared of losing control.
2007-10-20 08:27:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all have you talked to your boyfriend about this? that is step number 1. here is my advice.
If you care about this guy like you say, then you should respect his wishes. Be lucky he lets you hanging out with your friends. this means he is not insecure or jealous.
What does it care that you are Russian and he Irish that is stereotyping. Maybe he feels like he is a third wheel,especially if you all are talking a different language he doesn't know it.
You have a great guy who doesn't want to hang out in the bars!!!. Enjoy doing other things with your boyfriend, why not pick a different spot for you and all your friends to hang out to make him feel comfortable.
2007-10-20 08:27:23 · answer #3 · answered by m m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well try some new activities. maybe something he likes, as well as your friends.
the things you do for fun might be harder for him to enjoy, and if you do that all the time, your relationship might not turn out so well. go to some neutral place, like a park, or non smoking restaurant, and try to show your boyfriend a different side of your friends. bad reps are hard to change, but you should try.
and let your boyfriend know that you respect his opinion, but hopes that he will find things in common with your friends an be nice.
if this keeps on escalading, you will eventually have to decide between your boyfriend or your friends.
2007-10-20 08:22:51 · answer #4 · answered by maddiex3tokio.hotel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a good sign. Your friends will be there forever! Will he?
If he does not smoke, then ask your friends not to smoke around him,,,I get that.
But, here needs to be compormises on both sides. The Russian makes him fell left out so try not to speak it so much in front of him,,,I understand that. You both must make changes.
2007-10-20 08:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by neveragain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And? I don't see a question in there. You have a boyfriend that doesn't smoke or drink and has asked you to respect him and not do that. Instead you want to argue your friends are nice.
Choose one or the other. Boyfriend, or drinking buddies? Problem solved.
2007-10-20 08:24:11 · answer #6 · answered by oklatom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
respect your boyfriends ideas if his father was a drinker he must have some very horrible memories of alcohol abuse of his dad and the fact that he lost his father to drugs can leave very deep emotional injuries and maybe by seeing someone else who is close to him make him think of his father and how he died because of drugs and he doesn't want the same to happen to you....as for the Russian speaking it can really hurt i remember we i first got to the u.s i didn't know any English and it really hurt not knowing what people said .........oh for the dancing thing try teaching him to dance privately then take him to the dance floor
2007-10-20 08:26:16 · answer #7 · answered by Whats His Face 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your boyfriend. Drinking and smoking are not my favorite pass times and I would not hang around with a crowd that did that. I hate drunks.
You need to either give up that crowd or get another boyfriend.
2007-10-20 08:23:56 · answer #8 · answered by darkdiva 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should force him into hanging out with your friends since he is obviously uncomfortable around them. Make sure you set time aside for you two to go out alone and have a good time. It sounds like you two don't have much in common either since you like partying and he doesn't at all- it sounds like you need to make a choice.
A few years back I went out with a guy who hated all of my friends and tried to convince me to only hang out with him- I tried it for a week and then thought it was ridiculous because he was trying to change me.
2007-10-20 08:24:25 · answer #9 · answered by Madison 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pussicat, Well my little feline friend make the choice,your boyfriend or your other lifestyle ! Just remember a life free of drinking and smoking makes you smell better and feel better !
2007-10-20 08:29:06 · answer #10 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy. See your friends less often and don't let them talk Russian in front of your boyfriend, because that's just plain rude.
2007-10-20 08:23:48 · answer #11 · answered by jenesuispasunnombre 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋