I have a mental illness and I am very scared that once I have children I will make there lives very complicated. I want a child more then words can say, I work with children all the time (I work in Pediatrics), and I know I have the ability to be wonderful with them. Does anyone else have mental health issues and they have childeren? I need some advice.
2007-10-20 07:47:26 · 3 answers · asked by Kirsten S 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Yes, I raised 5, plus daycare kids.
Children can be so loving, it's really a healing factor.
But the constant presence of children and the intensity of emotion they can bring is also stressful, beyond imagination.
Let's say having children is a "growing experience" for the parent. If you want to become emotionally mature, children are the way to go.
At the same time, we need to realize that when we are especially moody, stressed, angry or distressed, the kids pick-up on that.........and often mirror your feelings back to you.
When a parent has a mental illness (as I have suffered with) I would say it is imperative that your spouse is an understanding and strong person who can take-up the slack when needed. A person who will act as an umpire, calling it as he sees it, as to when you need to take some time off or go back to therapy, or have your medication addressed. In some ways it is as if your spouse needs to "parent" you, too, when your mental illness is showing.
Think twice before committing to a child. But realize a child can be one of the most healing and fulfilling presences in your lifetime. You and your spouse can raise this child(ren). And when you are old, you will have your child to care for you, too.
That's what family is about.
I don't care who the person is, mental illness or physical illness, we all have "something wrong with us". That's just human. It need not exclude us from participating in life.
2007-10-20 08:06:51 · answer #1 · answered by Hope 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do and what I have to say is not what you are wanting to hear. :-(
I am great with kids, always have been...I love being with them...I wanted more than anything to be a Mom...
but I am bipolar and I did not take two huge factors into account....this illness is viscous, chronic, and nearly impossible to cope with....meaning I am not the consistent, amazing mother I was sure I would be and my son's chances for having psychiatric issues would be significantly greater than they are for a person without a parent with mental health issues.
As it turns out...he has inherited problems from my side of the family and it an extremely difficult child to parent. I struggle constantly with the guilt of that and of trying to single parent a child with special needs while trying very hard to maintain my own mental health.
This is a complicated issue and I really, really wish I had been able to see the big picture. I love my son more than anything and he truly is my reason for continuing to try to be well and do the best I can, but I was very selfish in my determination to be a parent no matter what. I was only 19 when he was born. I always thought I would have several children. but he is 12 now and I have been considering a tubal ligation for many years because I understand the issue in a much deeper way now. I caan't bring myself to do it yet...I can't quite let go of the dream that someday I will be very stable and have a supportive partner.
This is only my personal experience. Sometimes it works out. But it is not something to rush into...it does not just work itself out (as I had imagined it would). Having a mental illness takes parenting to a whole new level of difficultly.
I think the most important things (to have in place before a person with BP has children) are having the illness under control and having a very good support system (including a compassionate and helpful partner).
2007-10-20 15:05:00 · answer #2 · answered by Jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am not a parent,
but a child.
my dad has bipolar disorter
and doesnt take any prescriptions
and i hate him
i love my mom and she means the world to me,
but right now i really want my parents to get divorsed.
i think that i also have bipolar disorder and it runs in our family
so i will just tell you that as a child, i wish my dad would get help
and once you have children you need to take your prescription
it is hell living with a dad who you are so desperately scared that one night he is just going to hit you because he has done it before.
just please get help before you have children
so you dont end up like my dad
2007-10-20 20:16:15 · answer #3 · answered by shheeyya mann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋