because of a fall out between me and my sister. She chooses to side with my sister rather than helping us forgive each other. I really miss my mom even though she's shuned me (which has happened on more than 1 occassion) So much time has elapsed that I would feel foolish to even step forward. She's played this game before on me but it's never lasted this long. Why would a mother do this to her own daughter. I feel so unloved and abandoned. With my father having passed and my only other sibling living so far I don't even feel like I have family. I'm really sad. What do you make of this.
2007-10-20 06:59:42 · 14 answers · asked by sweet 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Butterfly.....my sister claims she will take over the will and deserves all the money for her hard earned phd. She basically made me feel like a failure.
2007-10-20 07:05:15 · update #1
I have been through this situation before and I have come to learn that sometimes parents arent as responsible or knowledgeable as we think. Sometimes the child is more mature. My mom and I have our ups and downs and I dont always approve of the choices she makes. I had to realize that she is a person just like me that makes mistakes. I use to beat myself up to run and make up the minute we had a disagreement, even when the majority of the time it wasnt my fault. The only person I was hurting and disappointing was myself. Your mother will realize, hopefully not too late how wonderful you are and probably more independent than your sister is. Love yourself and realize how special and unique you are. When you do, the situation wont seem so bad. It seems like she is acting like the child. Im thinking that you are the stronger of the family. Sometimes parents dont feel the need to nurture the stronger child as much. That was my situation. Good luck...
2007-10-20 07:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know all the story, but I think your mother should be the go between you and your sister. She needs to be trying to find a way to fix this problem, instead of avoiding you. Nothing is ever accomplished by shuning anyone. It really makes things worse.
Someone has got to brake the ice in this cituation. If you don't feel like facing your mom, you could write her a letter and tell her from your heart how you feel.Let her know she has hurt you very deeply and has made the problem worse by avoiding you. You could say something like: Your the mom and no matter what your children do, they are still your children and you need to love and show them you care. she needs to help you and your sister work things out, so you can be a close family again. Tell her you love her and miss her.
If you know in your heart that you were right regarding this thing with your sister, you need to tell your mother that and the reason why you feel that you are right.
2007-10-20 07:20:56 · answer #2 · answered by cubby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm sorry that you are going through this predicament. I don't know what it feels like for a Mother to not love me. My Mother has been young and has not always been the best Mother, but I never felt like she didn't love me at all, sometimes I did feel like she loved my Stepdad more, and would do more than the average woman to keep a man in her life, and that has hurt me over the years in different ways, but other than that and her alcoholism years ago, she's been a great Mom.
I don't think that your Mother doesn't love you, she may be just as confused as you right now and may not want to step up and be the bigger person this time, if ever. That's cool. You will just have to be that bigger person this time around and reach out to them. It's the only thing you can do. If they refuse to communicate with you, so be it. They will come around eventually. Must have been a serious falling out, for a Mother to choose one daughter over the other. Wow.
-Knowledge24
2007-10-20 07:08:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet, the only thing you can do is talk to your mother and tell her that it's been hurting you that she has turned away from you. I've been there, and I know it hurts a lot. I told my mother how I felt, and she still stood by my sister. I talk to her now, but it's not the same as it was before this happened. I just told myself that one day my mother will die, and I have to either get it out now or regret never trying. It's a real shame that your mother is acting that way... and she's losing more than she knows by not talking to you. I'm sorry. Have you tried to patch things up with either her or your sister yet? (Just wondering if that was an option in your mind) It may not change anything, but if you try, at least you'll know it's not your fault if they keep acting the way they do.
2007-10-20 07:09:47 · answer #4 · answered by bearlace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know its going to be hard if you ever decide to create a new relationship with you mother but I think its time to do that. I think you should meet your mom or call her and tell her how you feel unloved and abandoned and how much she has hurt you. I really think your mom will understand what she has done if you explain it without getting on her. For your sister, I think you should set her straight and let her know that she cant take control over those things. I am really sorry that this has happened to you it must be really hard. I hope things get a lot better. Good luck!
2007-10-20 07:30:10 · answer #5 · answered by ashleyy. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for your situation. There are many people who are in similar circumstances.
If you really want to try and don't want to risk too much, send her a letter telling her that you miss her. Don't go into the original fight, put it in the past.
It that is about your sister, never involve your mother in those fights again.
Begin fresh, blank slate. Be careful not to expect too much, she may not have it to give.
And....sometimes the best family are those we choose as family rather than those with the same blood.
To your PS, You can find ways to make your own money . Don't fight over your mother's money at least until after she dies. Perhaps your mother feels like you only want her for her money...?
2007-10-20 07:05:22 · answer #6 · answered by Carol B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand how y ou feel. my mother died in 2000 and my father has spoke to me a total of 6 times.And i have approched him each time. you may feel foolish but do it for youre self not for her.show her that unlike her you have the heart and desire to tell her hello and that you love her even if she is mad at you.As for youre sister let h er have her way brats like that always do i know I have one in my family.As for feeling unloved look around you and make alist of the ppl who have stood by you and been there for you when needed and you will find the love you been looking for. good luck and godbless
2007-10-20 07:19:01 · answer #7 · answered by furby_lost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of how you or your mother feel, you should swallow your pride and reach out to your mother and makeup with her. She's probably been like that all her life and tomorrow's not promised, so enjoy time with your mother. Those special moments with family are priceless and you can never get them back. Good luck!
2007-10-20 07:05:43 · answer #8 · answered by peaches6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ought to communicate approximately paintings, music, and contemporary activities. in case you have something occurring on your genuine looking volunteering, yoga, or a recent holiday, that would additionally be ideal. I comprehend you not desirous to communicate approximately particular issues, exceptionally for the reason which you weren't in touch for see you later. I applaud you for understanding your subject concerns, i struggle via that technique myself. best of success!
2016-11-09 00:49:23 · answer #9 · answered by gurucharan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg im so sorry:[ i dont think a family should ever ever not speak to eachother. your building a wall and if that wall reached to the top it will be hard to take it down all the way .just talk to her and tell her how you feel about being abandonded
2007-10-20 07:04:17 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋