I have a six year old son that refuses to talk. He Autitic or something. He so hyper he can't sit down and he driving me crazy. He has given me no joy or happiness and I'm starting to hate to be alone with him. In short, I'm starting to hate him. I don't know what to do. Please help
2007-10-20 06:43:38 · 21 answers · asked by Mscott21 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You need professional help in multiple areas. I have reviewed your questions over the past year and noticed that you are unsure as to whether your son has bipolar disorder, AD/HD or autism, but he has been medicated for AD/HD and an anxiety disorder (which can cause symptoms of autism and bipolar disorder to explode into hyperactive rages). You have health problems of your own and your wife may be pregnant again. This is a perfect storm of stress and it sounds like your son may be an outlet.
I recommend that you switch pediatricians for your son and request referral to a specialist. I also recommend that you take a parenting class and go to weekly counseling. You should also schedule special time for yourself and your wife to be both alone and together WITHOUT your son. Hire a nanny if you have to.
Your son should be enrolled in a special-needs program. He should be getting occupational therapy, speech therapy and play therapy. He can get better, but first you have to figure out what the problem with him is and address it.
In the meantime, you are aware that you are very depressed and at a breaking point. This is good that you have reached out to someone, even if it's only us. If you ever feel like hurting your self or others, or like abandoning or neglecting your son, call the child abuse hot line at 1-800-4ACHILD and ask them for help.
Remember that your son, as alien as he may seem to you now, is a beautiful and delicate person, not just a frustrating disappointment.
2007-10-20 07:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by Meghan H 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You aren't going to be able to change your son, he will always be autistic and he will most likely have continuing behaviorial issues, but you can change how you respond to him. The school counselor may be able to provide you with behaviorists so that you can learn techniques to make your life and his life better. Another thing you can do is talk to his teachers and find out what they do to calm him down and other techniques to stop disruptive or dangerous behavior. It is actually most helpful for your son to have consistency no matter where he is. Having a child with autism can be quite exhausting, as you probably already know. Find a support group. A teacher or school counselor should have information on parent and child advocacy. You are not alone, so you shouldn't have to go through it alone.
Ignore other parents who are judging you. Unless they have a child with autism they really have no idea how mentally and physically draining it can be. I have worked with children and parents in which the parents were just so exhausted they ended up putting thier children in a group home. Get help now while he is young. If you wait too long he might become completely unmanagible and even possibly dangerous. Children eventually become full sized adults and those little tantrums can become very dangerous.
2007-10-20 07:12:08 · answer #2 · answered by jc2006 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have two children with Autism / Aspergers.. aged 4 and 6.
It is hard to deal with your own emotions about your different child.. i could preach to you till the cows come home
but it wont help you..
This helped me.. I dont know how or why but it did...
(apologies to all for the length of this post)
........................................
"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel... it's like this....
When your going t have a baby its like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make wonderful plans. the Colosseum, the Michaelangelo David, The Gondolas in Venice. You learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives, you pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later the plane lands, The stewardess comes in and says "Welcome to Holland!!"
"Holland??!!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy Im supposed to be in ITALY.. All my life I have dreamed of Italy"
But theres been a change in the flight plan.
They have landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books and you must learn a whole new language and you will meet a whole new group of people that you would have never met.
It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy . But after you have been there for a while you catch your breathe, you look around.. and you begin to notice that Holland has Windmills... and Holland has Tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is bust coming and going from Italy.. and they are all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes that's where i was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never ever go away.. because loss of that dream is a very significant loss.
But if you spend you life mourning the fact you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ..... abut Holland.
................................................
My thoughts are with you and your family.....
2007-10-21 00:26:42 · answer #3 · answered by Pottie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact the school in your town. Whether he has entered 1st grade yet or not, the school will have specialists who will sit down and meet him to determine whether or not he is autistic (or if he has a different disability) and what steps need to be taken. I teach at an elementary school, and have met many autistic children. Don't force him to speak, but use a lot of kind words with him. If he is hyper, don't expect him to just sit down. Play games with him. Get outside and enjoy each other, sign him up for teams and clubs, and remember to set aside some time for yourself. He's only six...he isn't a bad person (no child is), you just need to help him find situations where he will thrive.
2007-10-20 06:56:27 · answer #4 · answered by Browneyed Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard when your child has a problem like this and you don't know how to solve it.
First thing you need are some tools to help you and your child have some positive interaction. Take him to a pediatrician or other professional to have him evaluated. Is he in school? The school have people there who can evaluate also.
If he is autistic, and he may not be, they will be able to tell you how to find what you need so that you can enjoy your son and he can enjoy a healthy life.
I've worked with a couple of autistic children and I have one in my classroom now. You would not believe the difference after these kids are in the right programs. They are happy, they are fun, and the parents are so relieved because they can actually see THEIR child!
Don't get discouraged. There is a lot of hope out there. And like I said, your son may not even be autistic. Get. him. tested. You deserve the opportunity to enjoy your son. And he needs it. :) Best of luck!
2007-10-20 07:05:30 · answer #5 · answered by Rachael 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you spend a lot of time on your own? It could be you need some adult time. Being with your children all the time can make you long for a sensible conversation. Boys are made to be naturally out going and maybe if youve asked him to talk its made him not want to. Try and remember that he is still that dependent child he was as a sweet baby but maybe you need more in your life now. I think once you forfill your needs the way you are with your son will change his behaviour and you'll both be happier.
2007-10-24 01:23:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it is hard to deal with your child's possibility of Autism. A parent worries when pregnant but ultimately when the child comes out looking healthy they forget about those worries until later on when they surface. It could be denial I am afraid to say because I know someone who is doing the same thing because she doesn't want her child to be labeled. Find out what is wrong first before you continue with your frustration and something worse happens. If know you feel that you hate him, but it may be that you hate the situation that you are in and why did it have to be your son. My son is 9 and has speech problems and some problems in school but I just help him with these day by day and am just grateful I have him in my life because he tells me he loves me everyday.
2007-10-20 07:27:54 · answer #7 · answered by helpful one 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bless you. You are clearly having a difficult time, so you must take action!
I would suggest you do things together, have some quality time doing something you both enjoy. This doesn't have to involve spending on expensive activities, it could be something as simple as playing ball in the park, but you need to reconnect - both of you.
Also, take some time for yourself to do something you want to do. Don't feel guilty about getting a sitter for the evening to have some time for yourself.
Talk to his school teacher and see how he is getting on there as well. The better you understand him, the more you can help him. Take time in the evening to talk about your day. Both of you try and highlight something you enjoyed.
Good luck!!
2007-10-20 06:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by Jessie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start by taking him to the doctor. If he is already 6 year-old and not talking you should know by now if he is actually autistic or not. Why have you not taken him yet? The earlier they are diagnosed the better the treatments. You can also try changing his diet. The Feingold Diet is showing promise in kids with severe ADHD and Autism.
2007-10-20 06:57:43 · answer #9 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhpas he has ADD or he is just being a kid. Either get him diagnosed or just learn to deal with the fact that six year olds can be annoying sometimes. He may have autism.... if he does just try to support him. However if he did have some issues the school would probably bring it to your attention. Perhaps he just as a selective mute with you because you are intimidating. Don't be hatin on your son.
2007-10-20 08:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by Rizzel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋