Ive been cheated on, used, degrated by a guy who told me no one else would like me for who I really am but him, and so on. Guys have always just been friends for me for the most part because relationships flat out scare me. I finally broke in and am in a relationship. He has tried to kiss me twice now and I feel very badly about it because I have backed off both times. I want to kiss him so badly, but I cant bring myself to. I really really like him. Its unexplainable. I dont feel nervous or afraid. I dont know what it is. Do you think its because of my past with guys? He doesnt know about any of my past relationships and I dont want to tell him because I think it would be odd for the both of us. Im 17 and never been kissed.
2007-10-20 05:56:55 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know that the guy I am in a relationship with right now is serious about us. -To the person that asked.
2007-10-20 06:04:47 · update #1
You shoulnt force yourself to do something you dont want to do. Im the same age as you and im a lad so if i was in ure bfs possition i would want you to tell me why you wont wanna kiss. He is prob worrying and he could be thinking things like "i dont think she likes me" you obviously dont want this. If you let him know your past and tell him your feelings he will then understand and if he loves you he will give you all the time you need.
I know it can be hard explaning your feelings but it has to be done. Be brave! Just tell him the truth and wait untill you feel comfortable. If he gets upset about it hug him alot.
When you finally feel happier i would just give him a peck on the cheek to begin with. Once this is a normal thing (both ways) and you feel comfortable kiss him on the lips. Once this is normal (both ways) and you finally feel comfortable you can think about kissing him with tounges. But you dont need to worry about that yet. One step at a time.
But seriously you have to tell him how you feel!!
Good luck! Hope this helped!!
2007-10-20 06:06:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Instead of the standard kiss on the face, which may be simply too much for you at this point in the game --- Have him instead worship and kiss your feet. Just as a slave would.
And then stop him after your feet are properly serviced. IE don't let him kiss his way upwards.
Now...If he is willing to do that... He is probably a pathetic man with no spine. But at least you will know that he is committed to treating you as a queen.
I think that's the kind of guy you really need at this point. One that really values you...one that worships your every step. Because you will really get to see the contrast between that kind of guy and the other loser. Right now you have this conscious or subconscious idea or fear that all guys are the same... just like this last guy. You import this onto each new boyfriend.
You can shatter that image though... just by starting to call the shots. If the guy isn't willing to play ball, he's worthless--throw his a** back out into the sea. There are plenty of other male fish out there.
2007-10-20 13:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by LuckyLavs 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm 19 and have been kissed once. And yes, relationships can be sort of nerve-racking... going out on a limb for someone. But it's also fun knowing that someone's doing the same thing for you.
I'd say that it is your past that's holding you back. You'll have to overcome it, but you can do it! You're stronger than you think since you got over all the other jerks who you've been with. However, odd as it is, you may have to communicate this fact with the guy you're currently seeing... if he has any semblance of a heart or is as great as you think, he'll understand... and he won't think twice about it. Perhaps once you do that and get the monkey off your back, you'll feel better and you won't feel so restricted, so you can have the kiss that both of you want.
Just remember, you're stronger than you think you are! And don't worry about all those idiots that used you, degraded you, and cheated on you... it was their loss, not yours!
2007-10-20 13:03:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next time just let him kiss you and kiss back. What you feel with this guy sounds like what everyone calls "chemistry". Its either there or its not. If you want to kiss this guy just don't pull back when he appoaches you. Relationships are scary and you are just being careful. I think you like this guy so much you want to save him like you would the last piece of candy. You don't have to tell him all about all of your past relationships just yet. Do you want to hear all about his? It sounds like the guy you had before was an abuser. Thats what they do. They try to scare you into staying with them even though they are abusive. They're liars. Don't let that relationship ruin it for you. Just take it slow with this new one. You don't have to go further than kissing now but at your age you can at least do that. I hope its delicious. Good luck.
2007-10-20 13:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by psi2006 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what the question is, but if you dont feel ready then you are not ready.
It doesn't matter what people tell you.. it doesn't matter what their opinions are.
If *you* are not emotionally ready to move to the next step (even if its just kissing) then that is something your boyfriend and friends should understand.
I think communication and honesty are two very important things in a relationship and this is something that you need to speak with him about.. he should know your boundaries and how you feel.
If you are getting pressured from a boy to do things you don't want to do and he wont let up, then he isn't respectful of you and isnt the right one.
2007-10-20 13:02:05 · answer #5 · answered by Siddles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would share your perspective with him just like you shared them with YA. For someone who can't explain it, you do a good job of explaining it.
It's a mature perspective to realize that the physical aspect of the relationship is far less important than the mental and emotional aspects of one. Tell him you haven't been kissed. I'd be proud of that fact. When you do connect with someone totally, it will mean a lot more to both of you.
Our media takes a materialistic and superficial look at relationships. You seem to instinctively know what's right for you. Stick with your guns and ignore those peer pressures to be like roles shown on TV.
Although Monk may have the right idea about kissing.
2007-10-20 13:07:03 · answer #6 · answered by Skeptic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let the past bring you down! Maybe you are one of those conservative girls that won't let anyone touch them which is fine! But remember that a kiss wont kill you specially when is someone you like. Everyone goes by this situation, trust each other and try something new.
2007-10-20 13:09:05 · answer #7 · answered by ۩†ĆŘΩŞŞ†۩ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat as you are; 16 and never been kissed (or on a date) :P
From what I can tell, you're trying to protect yourself from getting too emotionally attached to him, because you're afraid of getting hurt again.
Find a way to subtly ask him how serious he is, and if need be, explain why you're hesitant.
2007-10-20 13:01:51 · answer #8 · answered by Nordika 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
this is a tricky one. think i kinda get what you mean. If you really are close to him, you should tell him although i know you feel that its not the best thing. otherwise he won't know what's up and might think it's something he's done. if he is of the decent sort, he will understand and get through this together, if he's not, just think- do you really want to be with someone who doesnt understand you??? good luck and hope it all works out ok! x
2007-10-20 13:01:36 · answer #9 · answered by Livi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
gee...you've been emotionally abused in the past, and you're wondering? yes, it's because of the past.
BUT this is the present, and if you've found a great guy, then why not kiss him? it's not like he wants to have sex with you...if you trust him, then do it. if not, then wait until you DO trust him. there is no rush, and you are not a "freak". i was 23 when i had my first kiss.
2007-10-20 13:02:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋