I have a few friends and sadly to say they are not great friends. Last week they all said they would come over and then at all different times they bailed on me to hang out with other people! or they come for 30 min and leave. Im so confused on who to pick. One girl i have known since 2nd grade but we are not close as before. One girl i met last year and i hung out with her more than any other friend and could always call her but now she is always busy and i asked her to be my MOH and now it might be a mistake. It sucks cause my fiance choose all his guys cause they are very loyal to him. but my girls seem like they just dont care. I think its because we are all pretty young and im the only one who is engaged and they would all rather party and meet guys and im passed that stage. But still they never want to hang out with me. SO how can I pick the girls??
2007-10-20 05:49:23 · 12 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hi,
I had a similar problem, but in the end I asked my husband's sister to be bridesmaid and had one friend to be my maid of honour.
You don't necessarily have to have bridesmaids - if they've not been true friends to you, then do they deserve the honour of being an important part of your special day? Basically, its your day, not theirs, so you've got to be sure it's gonna be the happiest and most special day of your life. What about female family members instead?
Hope this helps, and I hope your day is wonderful - just make sure you enjoy it! Mine went too fast, I can't remember a lot of it, and I was sober too!
2007-10-20 05:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by LadyLamia 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I was kind of in the same situation as you are so I can most certainly relate! I had chosen a friend whom I was really close with at the time and my Fiance's sister as the MOH. I wasn't as close to my other friends from high school anymore and in the mean time had met other girls that I totally clicked with and wanted them as my attendants but it was too late. It took me a year and a half to get the girls together just to go look at bridesmaids dresses which I thought was unacceptable. They too kept bailing on me and I was so upset. I was seriously contemplating "firing" them because they also had the nerve to tell me they hated all the dresses I liked.
I would choose the ones whom you know in your gut are loyal to you, happy for you and are supportive of this wonderful step in your life. Also if you can't decide on girls it is perfectly acceptable to have "manmaids" lol! If you have brothers or are close friends with anyone of the opposite sex it might be easier to go that route. Men won't give you a hard time! Visualize your perfect day in your head.....whom do you see standing with you? They may be the best choice!
I know how you feel, and I am still disappointed with my girls....I wish I had brothers! If you feel the need to vent, please contact me, I've been there!
2007-10-20 11:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps see if your husband-to-be would be willing to only have the best man and then maybe look closer in your family for your maid of honor. That way, you can elegantly sidestep 'unasking' that one girl by saying you are going with only one at the altar with you and they are family. That way, you are not having to pick a ton of people but your fiance still has a groomsman. I am sure that the other guys he may have asked would be just as happy being ushers or even just guests. Guys seem to not really be that concerned with things like that.
2007-10-20 06:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jules, E, and Liam :) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Choose family. If that's not an option, and you can't count on your friends, then you're setting yourself up for disaster. I would have a girls night out in a neutral setting like at someone's house, no alcohol involved, maybe a light dinner, late lunch party, etc. and tell them all that you really need them because this is a special time in your life and you want them to be supportive. Let them know that you want their opinion on whether or not they can truly commit to you in yourtime of need. I'm sorry that you're friends are not supportive but this is going to be stressful enough and you don't need to worry whether or not they will or will not be there. Get solid commitments and if they can't do it, then look elsewhere. Best of luck.
2007-10-20 05:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello - picking bridesmaid can be a very difficult thing because you want to make sure they are there physically and emotionally.
Keep in mind that your bridesmaid/MOH does not have to be your friends. It can be your relatives, coworkers, mentors etc. Before picking your brides maid I suggest you select who you would like and take them to dinner. Be honest with them that you would like them to be by your side and if they can handle the responsibility.
Make sure who you are selecting is responsible, reliable, trustworthy, diligent and of course will be there for you !!!
2007-10-20 06:38:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are assuming you need to have bridesmaids. Despite what the wedding industry tells you, you don't need to have any attendants. I attended a very lovely wedding last year that didn't have attendants. And I won't be having any either. And if you do have female attendants, their number doesn't have to match the male attendants.
If you think you must have bridesmaids, you could simply go with one maid or matron of honor. And it doesn't have to be a friend. Could be a sister, cousin, aunt, or your fiance's sister (if he has one and you're close with her.)
2007-10-20 06:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well that stinks!
Every bride needs a really good friend for the MOH. That is who is responsible to plan the shower and the bachelorette party. Without good help, your events will be duds.
Yes, get the family envolved. Make sure they are old enough to stick to commitments.
2007-10-20 06:05:58 · answer #7 · answered by Rev. Deb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you have any sisters? your finaces sister? choose them first before friends. I don't talk to half of my bridesmaids anymore. friends come and go, family lasts forever! maybe a cousin? maybe you need to cut back on some of the people, make some of the guys ushers instead. tell them the situation and they'll understand.
2007-10-20 07:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by Sarahz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have family members you could pick. Cousins? Sisters? Aunts? Maybe you should talk to your friends aboubt how you are uncomfortable aboubt choosing them as your bridesmaids. Besides, it is YOUR special day. One you will remember forever.
2007-10-20 05:58:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could ask some of your family members to be in the wedding instead of the so called friends
2007-10-20 05:58:22 · answer #10 · answered by snakefinder41360 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋