Bar Jokes?

Question

Here are some bar jokes:

(ask for more at: [e-mail], its free!)

SOME THINGS YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN
A farmer is sitting in the neighbourhood bar slowly getting drunk. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.
The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over."
"That's not so bad, what's the big deal?"
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So what happened?" the man asked again.
The farmer relenting, continued "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over."
"Again?" (look below for the rest)

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
" So, what did you do then?" then man asked, intrigued.
"I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocks over the bucket with her tail."
"Wow, you must have been pretty upset!" but that's no reason to just sit here getting all depressed."
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So then what else did you do?" the man asked again.
"Well I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. That's when my pants fell down and my wife walked in. Some things you just can't explain."

(add a long, short, or medium (LOL) bar joke, make sure its not a dry, boring joke though, no offence in any way)

Answer 1

wowowowow

Answer 2

I've put this on here before....it's from Willie Nelson's book:

A duck walks into a bar & asked the bartender if he had any grapes. The bartender said no, and the duck walked out.

The next day the duck walks into the bar again and asks the bartender if he had any grapes. The bartender said, "NO" and the duck walks out.

The third day the duck walks into the bar & asks the same thing. The bartender, very annoyed now, answers, "I didn't have any grapes before, I don't have any grapes today and I won't have any grapes tomorrow. If you ask me that again, I'll nail your feet to the bar!!!"

The next day, the duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any nails?" He answers, "No." So the duck asked, " Do you have any grapes?"

Answer 3

that is hillarious! this one isnt half as good as yours, but you did ask for a bar joke...soooooo.....

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?”

“I've been to the pub,” slurs the drunk.

“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you've had quite a few.”

“I did alright,” the drunk says with a smile.

“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”

“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.”

Answer 4

heheh! so what happened when the wife came?

Answer 5

ew

Answer 6

i cant explain this one hahahahahahahahahahahhaha

Answer 7

ha ha ha.funny.