How Do I Write A Polite Email To This Mom?

Question

I met this mom who joined my playgroup site at a local bookstore. She had a negative vibe to her (I can feel people's energy since I'm kinda intuitive). She also was blunt and showed no expression on her face when I spoke. However, I was polite, smiled often, and supportive to her when she spoke, maybe that's why she liked me and asked me to come for lunch at her house this Sunday. How do I word my email to where I don't think it's going to work for us? I can not find a way to make the email sound polite.

If you know what intuitive means, I don't need to explain why I can't connect with her. Her personal energy feels negative (not only her attitude) and it doesn't make me want to be around these kinds of people. I'd rather be around positive people.

Answer 1

somethings you just cannot be nice about...and i think this one is one of them.

Answer 2

I understand intuition I have it myself. I hate being around negative people.........that being said she may be reaching out to you,it might be worth a lunch to find out why she's so negative. While you are having lunch fish for answers maybe there is a good reason why she is so negative. She may feel that things in her world are hopeless... If you want to help other wise just tell her something has come up and you can't make it. Then avoid her. She will get the message.

Answer 3

First, was the invite to lunch via e-mail? If it was, then just politely decline. No explanation is needed. If the offer was verbal, via telephone or in person, then you need to be courteous enough to respond in kind. E-mail is an easy way out of a confrontation. Personally, I find someone who writes an e-mail in order to tell someone how they "feel" is often hiding their own insecurites. Beyond that, I find it extremely rude. If you really feel the need to tell someone what you think of them, at least have the courtesy to do it to their face, not hiding behind a computer screen.

Last, intuition can be wrong. I've made the mistake of misreading someone. I felt they were stand offish and not a good person just to find out that they were extremely shy. Maybe you should give this person the benefit of the doubt. Obviously she did you.

Answer 4

I agree with Jen and RJM. This mom is trying to reach out and make a friend. She is probably not the type that makes friends easily, but once people like that do make friends, they may be quite caring. I would go to her house once, maybe invite her plus another mother and child over once for dessert at your home or a kid-friendly restaurant, then see how you feel. Another factor to consider is whether your kids get along and would enjoy being with each other.

Answer 5

Maybe just tell her that you really don't have time outside of the playgroup to get together with other moms but you look forward to seeing her in the group. Give her a chance to get to know you through the group. Sometimes it takes people a while to warm up, and then see how it goes.

Answer 6

Maybe you should give her a chance and go to lunch. Some people are uncomfortable in new places. If she joined a playgroup, it sounds like she is trying to expand her and her child's social life. If after lunch you still get bad vibes from her in "her own environment" you can avoid future get togethers.

Answer 7

I don't know if it would serve any purpose to tell her why you don't want to hang out with her. I would simply just let her know that you are unavailable and leave it at that. If you need something more just say your sorry but due to personal reasons you don't feel it would be right to make commitments to do anything with her.

Answer 8

I think you should go. Maybe she doesn't have many friends and isn't used to relating to other people. It was probably hard for her to ask you to come to her house for lunch. Go, maybe you'll both make a new friend.