Now I'm mad as hell...more.....?

Question

I called crisis last night in trying to deal with some issues. I wouldn't contract with her not to harm myself but did agree to calling her in a half hour, which I did, then told her I'd call her back in hour which she hesitated but agreed to. My plan was to go home shower and shave and go to the hospital willingly, I knew I was a major threat to myself. Problem is that 10 min into my shower and someone is pounding and kicking at my door, I thought it was the police so I ignored them and finished my shower. It quietted down now for awhile so I (in the dark) went to see if I could figure out who it was..."bang" at the door, the cop was waiting for me in my poarch. Needless to say I had to get dressed and be escorted to the hospital where they kept me over night and all that in less than 12 hours. Now I want to freak on crisis for not taking my word, and I more than ever really want to do harm to myself to prove a point. pills,cutting everything and anything. Now I am a risk..a huge 1

while there, I continuously cut my arm and tried really hard to leave and refused to sleep

I would go back but now I would feel like a retard after just leaving. I'll just take my pills and hope not to wake up again.. I don't know what to do now

Windride... In a year I could deal with all my crap in a "safe" place..any openings??

Miss Monk, do you know me or something?? That shower was to be my last, those were my thoughts and I never got to my nails... I'm so messed up right now

Answer 1

It sucks when you get to the point that the emotion pain can only be drowned by the physical...
Where your at tho hun cant be drowned out no matter how much you cut...
I wont say crisis were right for not taking your word because I can imagine how p* ssed off I would be.. but maybe.. just maybe they were REALLLy concerned about you.
It sucks to be where your at...

I do think you need a couple of days chill time if you can get it.. if not in hospital maybe a close friend or relative can help..
My thoughts are with you... Stay safe ok

Answer 2

Either go to the hospital, get help and get over yourself and quit trying to hold other people hostage or get it over with.
If you were in Texas and were 302"d ( put in the hospital for being a thrEat to yourself or someonE else ) you would be there for a year with NO possibility of getting out for THE ENTIRE YEAR.
And NO, I'm not judging you. I slit my entire forearm once from wrist to elbow and was watching the blood run out hoping to die. The next thing I knew I was coing back in a hospital bed when I distinctly heard "This is NOT your life to take, what are you doing"? but when I opened my eyes the four people in the room with me denied having said those words. It took me many years to know that I have been put on Earth for a very specific reason. These days I no longer care what the reason is; I do know that when whatever I am here for is accomplished then I will be given the privilege of moving on to another place; which by the way , is far, far better than here.
SO seek a faith that works for you and you may yet find a reason to live that fuels you with a passion for life and a desire to help others.
My prayers are with you.

Answer 3

I agree that it was wrong of the crisis center to send the police to your house unless they honestly felt you sounded like you were not sincere about keeping your word.trust me, whatever your issues are, I have had more to deal with, and I have survived.Go back to the hospital or call the crisis hotline and tell them how you feel.Ending your life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.You are someone special.Life will get better. You just have to help yourself. Take care and good luck!

Answer 4

How do you know Crisis line called the cops. Some one here could called Yahoo to get help to save your life. You never got back in touch by e-mail like you promised.

Jim>>>>>>> aka{ the old s.o.b.} in life an death situations if he wants a person to live.

Answer 5

After reading your profile, I feel as though you're in VERY SERIOUS need of assistance. Whatever you do, don't take your frustrations out on the crisis center. Find a qualified psychologist to talk with you about your problems, and tell him/her about your experience with that crisis center Good Luck.

Answer 6

I see your point. I'd be angry too if someone took the decision out of my hands.

But, now that the decision IS in your hands, try to do what is BEST for YOU.

Think for a moment. YOU have the power. Use it wisely. You know you aren't feeling well, so DO something about it. Go BACK to the hospital (no shame in it this time, because now YOU are acting responsibly). Be calm, SHOW each and every one of thosr F*ck#%$ that you are better than they are and can be mature and do what is right

.

Answer 7

You need to calm down. You have to remember that these people are on your side and can't always assess whether or not you will be compliant with health services over the phone. It may seem over kill to send the police to get you, but as you said, you were a major threat to yourself and they just wanted to make sure you weren't in immediate danger and able to access appropriate help asap.

Don't harm yourself just to spite them, it proves that your are not in a position that you can be trusted with your own well being if you make threats to harm yourself as a form of 'revenge'. I think that you need to go back to the hospital if you are not in the correct frame of mind to be sensible and responsible for your own health and well being. If you are in immediate danger, call crisis right now to arrange care...

Answer 8

Sweetie, do you hear yourself? You are a danger to you! The crisis person felt you needed immediate assistance. It was their call at the moment. Don't be so angry at them. I guess, if I was in the shower I might be a little teed off., because I'm so vain. I'd wanna walk thru the hospital doors with my make up perfect and my every hair in it's place! THen, we could discuss mental health issueas and how yukky I felt! But besides that, I'd chalk it up to someone out there caring. We care too Chantale! Don't hurt yourself sweetie! Pleeeaaassseee! WE really do care. Your life is important. You just don't see it now. But it truly is...Hugs to you, my dear! And as always, feel free to E Mail me.

Answer 9

The person at crisis obviously knew you were a danger to yourself. They were only looking out for you. You called them and asked for help. I think you need to get some kind of councelling, etc. I've been through the cutting thing and now regret all the scars I have especially the ones that are visible to outsiders, coworkers and friends. Get some help!

Answer 10

I am sorry you are having to deal with such an enormous trauma in your life - my heart goes out to you...

BUT that being said you also have to realise that if you tell a health professional or someone working for a helpline that you are at risk of harming yourself, then they have a moral obligation to get you urgent help. Think about it this way... if you hadn't kept your word and had instead gone home and killed yourself - this poor woman would be having to justify her actions to the police, her employers, your family, your friends. So (as I see it) she was in a no win situation.

Sorry,
Hope you are able to get the help you need,
mum2MH