I posted a question a few days back about a girl that I have only known for a few mos. asked me to be in her wedding and it is costing me an arm and a leg and she is treating me like a piece of crap. Ok...now there is another girl at work that is getting married and I have a huge feeling that she is going to aske me to be in HER wedding. How do I turn her down politely? Money shouldn't be an issue in this wedding because I don't think she is doing anything elaborate. So I don't think that me not being able to afford it would be a good excuse. I really like her but I just don't want to be in another wedding. Please offer some ways to turn her down easy and still keep her respect and keep her as a friend at work.
2007-10-20 02:14:33 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am going to be asked to be IN the wedding not just be INVITED to the wedding. Thanks guyz for all your advice. I just wanted to clear up my question a bit.
2007-10-20 02:48:31 · update #1
just as politely as possible - perhaps you can say that as you were just in a wedding, you felt so uncomfortable, that your nerves were shot & your doctor does not feel that you should do it again.
2007-10-20 05:10:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest, tell her that you were just in a wedding and you while you are honored by the request that you are so worn out from other weddings that you jsut don't feel like you can devote the amount of time and energy she deserves from a bridesmaid on the most special day of her life. Just say " would you be terribly offended if i were jsut a guest?" you are such a good friend to me and i want to enjoy the wdding with you without feeling like I am responsible for things. She will appreciate your honest and if she does not and she gets mad, then jsut politely say "I am so sorry you feel that way, but it is such an important day to you, you deserve someone who is fresh and has the energy i jsut lack right now. tell he how honored you are and how much you are looking forward to being there that day. then give a very nice gift and perhaps do something else to honor the bride and groom. if money id not an onject, call ahead to where they wwill be on their honeynoon and arange for a pre-oaid horse and buggy ride or a romantic dinner or something special. let it be a surprise, if she was amd before she won't stay mad after she see the thought and sincerety you put into your surprise
2007-10-23 20:31:09 · answer #2 · answered by dreamwhip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if she's not doing anything elaborate, it will still cost you a pretty penny. The dress (again), accessories, wedding gift, wedding shower gift, spending money towards the bridal shower etc. Tell her that you are honored and very flattered that she would consider you to be a bridesmaid but your finances have changed since you last participated in a wedding of _____ (list your coworkers name) and you're not able to be a bridesmaid. BUT maybe there's another way that you can help out - doing a reading or helping out at the guest sign-in table during the reception.
If she's a true friend, she'll understand.
2007-10-20 04:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whatever you do, don't lie to her because you WILL get caught. And, because I'm sure her wedding is the most important day of her life, catching someone in a lie about being in her wedding would cut deep. I would just explain to her that you are in another wedding and have alot going on with that....and, although very flattered that you were asked, it isn't something you're going to be able to do.
If she's a good friend, she will understand. If not, you shouldn't be in the wedding anyway.
2007-10-20 03:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you just wait and see? Maybe this one wouldn't be so bad.
But about the first one -- "There are no victims, only volunteers." If she is treating you like crap, get that to STOP! Put an end to it! Withdraw if necessary. Why is it costing you too much? As you see, it is souring you on another opportunity that could be good.
If you could get the first one straightened out, then you could see clearly about the second.
Good luck on all this. I feel bad that you are having such a hard time on the first, and I think you should focus on that one right now. Then, if you still feel you cannot on the second, and you ARE asked, you will also feel more able to give a good rejection, having handled the first situation well.
2007-10-20 02:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by CarlisleGirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the main reason you don't want to be in the second one was having a really bad experience with the first one. Can you tell her that? Just say, "I'm once-burned, twice shy about being in a wedding party. Can't I just be a guest?" Explain that it's no reflection on her, but you are sure she has enough friends and relatives that she doesn't really need you for the wedding party.
Darn shame about the first one, though.
2007-10-20 05:28:34 · answer #6 · answered by auntb93 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could just suck it up and be a good friend and when asked to be in her wedding (and you don't KNOW that she IS going to ask) tell her you'd be honored. There is usually a lot of thought and concern placed in to picking bridesmaids and when you are asked it's because that person truly wants you with them on the most important day of their lives. The only reason to turn someone down for this would be financial, not just because you don't 'feel like it'. Sorry, but you asked........
2007-10-20 02:28:13 · answer #7 · answered by Cory C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just get to the point tell her how honored you are that she would even think of you to be a close friend and be in the wedding party but due to other weddings and things you have commited your self to your budget can not allow you to be in the wedding but you are more then willing to be a guest and help out address wedding invites or do seating charts with her if she needs your help
2007-10-20 04:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Oh thank you so much, I'm no honored and I really really want to say yes but I just do a good job with so much else going on right now and it wouldn't be fair to you, I just couldn't but please I'm so looking forward to being your guest" and so you. You know, like a politician with a lot of find sounding words that don't really mean much of anything. If she presses you for details, you remain vague. "Oh dear, I'm sorry but it's just impossible" and "Really you're too kind; I'll be sure to call you if I can see my way clear to helping you with centerpieces or something." Remember, it's an all volunteer wedding party, not a draft.
2007-10-20 17:46:44 · answer #9 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say that you are already having a lot of expenses because of being in another wedding and you just don't have the time but you would love to attend.
2007-10-21 02:51:05 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you're really honored that she asked you. However, there's too much going on in your life right now and in the upcoming months for you to be in wedding party. But that you'd love to just be a regular guest. (If indeed you think you would want to attend.)
2007-10-20 06:10:03 · answer #11 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋