Why do some parents not give a S**t??

Question

Grrr. Why do some parents let the kids run the street?? i'm not talking 15 year olds i'm talking about 4-10. They never keep an eye on them, or even seem to care where their kids are! it makes me so angry!

My 2 boys were out the front playing, they went round the corner for 10 minutes inside that 10 minutes they met some kids that were putting used fire works into a plastic bag and setting them alight with a lighter they got out of their parents house! these kids have free reign and are always up to something!

Why do they have kids when they can't be bothered to look after them??

i have 4 children - the parents are extreemely unnaproachable and even mentioning their children would probably result in one huge argument, they know what there kids get up to they just don't do anything about it!!

Answer 1

I understand how you feel.

I live in an area where very young kids seem to roam free in feral groups and are even accountable for crime. There is a quota of junkie parents, or drunk ones but the vast majority are simply neglectful because the society I live in condones it as normal.

Yes the parents are to blame, no argument about that whatsoever.

You will also find that when kids in a certain area do this that it becomes "acceptable" amongst some parents in the area. They will let their kids do it because "everybody else's do it". It's not an excuse.

So what happens next? These kids basically raise themselves, sometimes mum will keep popping out babies and she will only concern herself with that one and the others get to fend for themselves.

So they don't get any guidance, morally or otherwise. The people they begin to look up to are the older kids on the streets. A lot of the time the older ones are pretty anti-social. The younger ones want to be like them. So they grow up and before they are adults some of them find themselves parents too. They have kids....the cycle continues. Some girls see no other future for themselves other than to have a baby so they can get a house. That is not right, but it happens because people end up poorly educated with low aspirations.

Now, my parents were not good parents, in fact they were bad parents. All this has caused me to do as an adult is to swear that I would be better and never allow my kids to suffer what I did. Having bad parents is not an excuse because people can choose. However it can be very hard to break free of what you have been conditioned to find normal or acceptable

I put it to you that some people do not actually KNOW how to be a good parent, because- nobody ever showed them. Kids learn from example. They grow up and become neglectful parents, because that is what they have learned is normal.

I really do not know what the answer is to the problem. Education? raising people's aspirations? or perhaps more monitoring from social services because these children- however annoying they are- are still children and are vulnerable because nobody is caring for them.

Some of the things being tried include "supernannies" who work with specific families. The whole estate is a "dispersal zone" meaning that the police have the legal power to break up groups of more than 2 people and all minors on the streets after 9 must be taken home if caught. It hasn't solved the problems entirely, but at least the problem is recognised.

If it concerns you, pick up the phone, call the police. It is worth complaining because all of those complaints take time and money to follow up. When enough people do it, it gets taken seriously and things start to happen. So always always report it and keep a record of what you see happening. I have done this and seen my complaints taken seriously.

Answer 2

parental discipline is not allowed anymore and the kids know it.if a parent yells at the kid for any reason,it's called child abuse.and the kids are taught this in school along with sex education and other things that should not be taught in school.
my daughter-in-law called the police one time about some kids in the neighborhood ,8 to 10 year olds,who were my grandsons freinds.they were hanging out in front of her house wanting my grandson to come out and play at midnight. she asked the cops how late an 8 to 10 year old was allowed out before curfew and they told her that they had up to 1am.and this was on a school night.how rediculous is that?how can a parent control their kids when all this is being allowed?i'm not saying its all the laws fault. the parent has responsibilities to raise the child in the best way they know how,but when the schools are allowed to teach everything but reading, writing ,and arithmatic,its hard to get it through your kids head that the things they are doing are not exceptable with the parent.the best thing i can suggest is to keep the kids away from all those little brats.if at all possible.

Answer 3

Maybe it's the way they were raised , or its just that the kids are in there way of what they want to do ..Also it's a sign of the times , that the generation of kids coming will have no respect.Besides when the state and fed govt takes some rights away from parents such as birth control in school, abortions, and condoms, all in secret with out the parents knowledge. Then what does that tell you, the kids think they have control over parents .

Answer 4

Its very hard to pin point the actual problem, but in the main some parents can not believe that it is their children that will get up to mischief, its always someone else's fault.
But you should also look carefully at your question, as your own 2 children were 'round the back for 10 minutes', during this time anything could have happened that could cause others to think your children were 'out of control'.

Answer 5

As a parent of 4 kids, I quite often ask myself the exact same question. I have been asking it for the last 20 years and I still don't have an answer. If you work it out I'm sure there are a lot of parents out there who would love to know.

Answer 6

I agree, it is a responsibility of all parents to know where their kids are and what they are doing and who they are doing it with. The problems is people still believe if you are able to birth a child that automatically makes you a good parent. This is why I think the government should regulate who breeds and who does not. We have a test by the government for almost everything else we do from driving to hunting, but not one to see if you have the brains to rear a child. There should be a test all couples have to take just before trying to get pregnant and if they fail they should be prevented from having one. We as a society suffer every day from car jackers to armed robberies to murders who came from homes whos parents did not take enough interest into knowing what their kids were up to most of the time. If parents were held more personally responsible for their children's actions by the government then we would have a dramatic reduction in prison population. Eventually we could reduce how many police we would need on the street also if parents only were held responsible for taking an interest into their children's lives. Until the things mentioned above are taken into consideration nothing will change in society and the way we deal with the youth of the today. Please keep a close eye on your kids and don't ever let them hang out with kids you know to be a bad influence because eventually the bad kids behavior will rub off onto your kids. It is harder today to keep track of what the kids are doing because we are all tired after working but without proper guidance the prison road will always seem the easier route. Kids may get mad at us at first after telling them they can't hang out with a certain kid but after explaining why and some time passes they will understand and move on. You just have to remember to stay tough and firm in your resolve while continuing to let your child know you love him or her very much. Please take all I suggest with a grain of salt and understand this is just simple advise I am not criticizing your parenting. Good Luck in your journey.

Dominus Vobiscum
Don

Answer 7

i work in a deprived area and a lot of parents are like this, its down to the way their have been brought up and also some see children as an opportunity for a house, benefits, some even make out thei child has a special needs like ADHD so can claim extra benefits.
Some parents earn more than me, and i work in a school, this really pisses me off,

Answer 8

the kids that live beside me are out playing till about 11 at night and some of them are only about 5 or 6

Answer 9

ha!! i know exactally what you mean about bad parenting....... I am raising my sister in-law's 8 year old son, i have been since he was 2 i was 15, before my fiance and i were together, she is a drug addict and always has been, she has 6 children and all were taken away.... people like this have children, because they're too damn stupid to use a condom or birth control yet they have sex unprotected!

Answer 10

Because they probably couldn't be bothered with contraception! It really upsets me, there is a kid like that round the corner, and when I can take the time and effort with him, he is great, well behaved etc. However next day after time with his own family he'll be back to hitting my kids. They don't play with him anymore.....