Some history: It's been 9 years since I was with my first boyfriend. We were together a little over two years. I have since gotten marriend and moved on, so I thought. I bumped into my ex at church while I was with my husband about 7 years ago. My ex and I parted in okay terms, so I didn't find it odd that he came up to talk to me. He told me that after we broke up, he started using drugs...basicly he was screwed up now. He was a great guy before, I never would have though he would go down that path.
Fast forward to now: Ever since my ex told me that he started using drugs, I have been having the terrible dreams. I dream of my ex with his arms butchered, with huge stiches, his arm skin looks like burned, dried flesh. He looks like he weighs 80lbs in my dreams. I have these dreams about once or twice a month, and I always wake up crying with a deep, scary wail that doesn't sound human. I think it is out of guilt. If I ask him if it's my fault, will the dreams stop????
2007-10-19 20:48:27 · 12 answers · asked by royal.pain 2 in Social Science ➔ Dream Interpretation
Maybe you need to talk to him. By now maybe his off drugs and your worring for nothing but maybe he's worst. But you need to know it's a dream you can only do so much without it interfering with your like & with your husband. Maybe you know someone who knows him that can find out how he's doing. Maybe just a few kinds word might help but maybe not. Regardless what you do it's a dream IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT even if he says it is IT'S NOT ^_^ DJ
2007-10-19 20:55:32 · answer #1 · answered by DJ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am no expert on these matters but have heard that some times what you dream of can mean the opposite.
A long time a go i used to dream about one of my children constantly, it freaked me out because the out was alwasy the same and it wasnt nice.
But a few weeks a go i read about dreams and it could be a possbilty of two things.
Death and illness can actually mean new beginnings so is there a physcic link and this is a way of it telling you.
Anxiety, worry. Inside you dont love this man but you still care enough to let it worry you.
I would say ride this one out and see where it goes, also keep your ear to the ground as may be news of this person will come to you.
Difficult i know i hope this helps.
2007-10-19 20:55:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is *NOT* your fault that he started using drugs. ABSOLUETLY NOT. That burden does not belong to you, give it back. Drug addicts and alcoholics are very manipulative, and will look for any excuse to justify thier dis-ease. If you ask him if it is your fault, he will tell you yes, because he wants to manipulate you and justify his disease. This is a burden you must find resolution for, and let go of, it is not yours to carry, and you must put it squarely back on his shoulders. You have been carrying this way too long. Seek counseling to help you resolve it. If it would be helpful to you to call and see how he is doing, that is ok, I guess, as long as you get counseling about it too. He had problems long before you broke up with him, and likely would have started using drugs any way, and if you had stayed with him, then his excuse would have been something to do with you as well. *He* made the choice to start using drugs, and he probably has alot of excuses besides you breaking up with him, he probably also tells people it's stress at work, or stress from bills, or whatever.
Even when they do get cleaned up, they are still master manipulaters. You must get closure on this, and don't let him try to rope you into being his enabler. Good luck....
2007-10-19 23:47:49 · answer #3 · answered by beatlefan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, it's probably out of guilt. don't worry. the man was a significant part of your life and to care for him or worry about him is perfectly human. (it shows how much of a good person you are). but it's not your fault he went that way, there may be other underlying factors. if you parted on good terms, then you aren't the cause of his problems. he may still have gone into drugs even if you were still with him. don't sweat it. if you want to help him, get him some professional help.
2007-10-19 21:03:35 · answer #4 · answered by GBOY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
something like that is never your fault. he decided to start taking drugs, not you. and as for the dreams, it's completely normal to worry about someone you care for. if you feel you need some closure hear, call him when you are worried about him and ask if he's okay. maybe he could just use the support. and maybe that will ease your mind as well.
good luck!
2007-10-19 20:53:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are having a guilt trip and do not need to. Put him on the back burner and get on with your life - he obviously survived the drugs etc he was after making you feel bad and succeeded.
2007-10-19 20:54:03 · answer #6 · answered by Barbie V 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know by him telling you about it is just his way of coping. I dont think it was your fault at all. It was his decision. You didnt make him take those drugs. There are other ways to cope with bad things in life, I dont think you should stress out about it. We all know that we make decisions and we got deal with it, consequences and all.
2007-10-19 21:28:33 · answer #7 · answered by :) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, i think that guy just wants you back, but don't go for it! its not your fault, its just the way he decided to deal with it. stick with your husband, because i dont think you want to lose both of them.
He may be seeking attention.
if he isn't, tell him to get a therapist, or if he can't afford that,
have him talk to someone he knows well.
2007-10-19 20:52:25 · answer #8 · answered by seeya1423 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you still care for him as a person. It sounds like you may feel partly responsible for his downhill spiral. But please remember that he chose to go down that path, you didn't choose it for him.
If it would make you feel better, then ask him if you are to blame, but do you really want to know the answer?
2007-10-19 20:53:31 · answer #9 · answered by tropicalfancy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Tower card is pulled.
2007-10-19 20:52:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋