my mom died and it's only been about a 1 month and a half and everytime i talk to my sister about it she says

Question

haven't you exepted the fact that she is gone how can i tell my sister she is hurting me by not being very supportive to my feelings without making her mad

Answer 1

You cant make her talk about it. You need to find someone else to talk to. Of course youre not over it but she just doesnt want to deal with it.

Answer 2

Maybe your sister can't be the one to walk you through this. Do you have another sibling you can turn to. Neither one of is wrong... there is no right way or wrong way to deal with someone's death. Especially one so close to your heart. Apparently your sister is unable to be supportive. I think that when you do address this you should tell her... that you feel more safe talking to her about this than anyone else. And that she knows your mom as well as you .... that you have accepted her death.... that your just not over it yet. If she says she just can't shoulder the mourning from you... I know that you will have someone else to lean on. I know I have to wear your shoes someday..... I just hope it's not for a very long time. I am so sorry for your loss..... I can't imagine.

Answer 3

Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Your way is no more correct than your sister's way. And neither way is wrong. They are both just different.

I know your sister is a very close relative and you feel you need her support. But if things were reversed she could be on here asking how to tell you that bringing up your mom's death hurts her very much and how could she tell you that without making you mad.

Why not find someone else to talk to about your mom's death if that's what you need to do? That way you won't be hurting your sister in talking to her about it and she won't be hurting you by dealing with it in the way she needs to.

Answer 4

People deal with loss in different ways. Your sisters reaction may seem 'cold' on the surface, but it is probably her way of dealing with it. While you need time to grieve, you also have to live as well - you are going to have down times and in this case you might be better off talking to a close friend or another family member. I think if you explain that you sister is upsetting you with what she has said, you may in fact blow the situation into a bigger issue. I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

I am sorry about your mom. That must really be hard. People grieve and accept things differently. Tell your sister that you have accepted that she is gone but that it does not hurt any less. Tell her also that you are sad and when she asks you that it makes you more sad. See what she says. Your sister might be dealing with her pain by putting it out of her mind and not talking about it. I hope things get easier for you soon. You will always miss her and have pain over it but eventually it will not be all consuming. Good luck.

Answer 6

How truly sad for you that you have no one to confide in. But has it occurred to you that your sister is hurting just as badly as you and she has nowhere to turn?

I remember when my fiance died 2 months before our wedding. I was beside myself and the only one who understood and would listen to me was my the man who would have become my father-in-law. But my stepfather said I was been taken advantage of and probably was having sex with this older man. What I wanted to tell him was entirely different from what I could say without getting smacked across the room. When I wasn't over his death in one month, my parents dragged me to a mental hospital seeking electric shock treatment for me. I knew how unpredictable that was, and being 18 years old, I refused. I never forgave them for their insensitivity.

What you need to do is find a trusted friend and talk with her or her mother. Don't hide or bury these feelings. They will come back to haunt you.

My sincere condolences and prayers.

Answer 7

just like that, explain her that you don't want to be mad at her but everyone has different ways to react to this kind of event, some likes to talk and remember all the time and others likes to not talk about it.
You have to be supportive with each other because the reality is that you two are suffering the pain.

my condolences to you

Answer 8

well my mom died when i was just 8 now im 13 but it was hard for me to belive that she was achually dead so my dad told me she was dead but you can tell her by maybe taking her to your moms grave i know its hard but youll get through it man its trgick when someone in your faimly dies defently someone as close as your mom or dad so if that doesnt work give it some time and eventulay shell relize that shes really dead because it took me a while to ecsept it sorry to hear about your mom but you just need to now that people have gone through the same thing as you and we can all help you

Answer 9

Just try and be brave and tell her calmly. She's sure to understand. She is probably feeling the same way you are but she doesn't know how to show it.