my boyfriend and i have discussed our strong desire to be married in 2010. i will graduate college in 09 and he plans to propose to me close to graduation. i'm just curious as to what your thoughts are for after the proposal...how soon do you move in together? or do you wait til youre married?
i know it "all depends on the couple" but in general terms (or in your person opinion from experience) what's the basic timeline going to be like after he proposes? thanks!
2007-10-19 18:45:25 · 26 answers · asked by niugirl1114 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
After I got engaged I was married within a year. For me, an engagement was a declaration to friends and family of our intention to get married. The year gave us time to reserve everything, plan the honeymoon, and save some money. Y
Dating should last longer than the engagement. Dating is where you get to know the person and the engagement is the planning towards the wedding day.
You wait until you're married to move in together. Too many people live together without the benefit of marriage nowadays in my opinion. There's a commitment that's there when you get married that's not the same as when people live together. I've seen it happen many times that there're people who live together first, then finally get married and end up divorced within a year or two.
That's my opinion and it's worked for 12+ years for me so far.
It's good that you're both getting school out of the way first.
Cheers.
2007-10-19 19:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by tonyend2001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really does depend on the couple. Depending on religious beliefs or backgrounds, some couples (or their families) will not live together before marriage. I mean, you could be living together now!
Once you get engaged, you are going to be spending most of your waking moments planning the wedding. I was engaged in October of 2002 and we had our wedding October 2004, and I needed every single one of those 24 months to plan! My husband and I had been dating for over five years when we got engaged, had already lived together briefly when we first started dating, and moved in together about six months before the wedding. It may be quite confusing to plan a wedding and find a place to live at the same time. If you are both comfortable with it, there is no reason why you can't move in together once you are engaged - especially if there is family that might be upset at you living together unmarried. At least if you're engaged, you're almost married, and you can explain how much easier it makes everything if you don't have to worry about finding a place to live right after the wedding.
The timeline after proposal varies depending on where you live and what kind of wedding you want. Like, where I lived in New York, during certain times of the year you had to book your reception AT LEAST 18 months in advance, if not more. I was lucky in getting my choice of date 17 months before my actual wedding - I knew people who couldn't get their first three choices of date two full years before the wedding.
2007-10-20 01:55:28 · answer #2 · answered by Steph Gas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you graduate. Alot of things can change in a year and a half. Do not move in together. You have heard the saying "why buy the cow if the milk is free" Best thing to do is graduate, get a good job and a place to live that you can afford. Have your fiance over for dinner, go to a show, and give him a good night kiss. If you want him to spend the night on a special occasion thats fine. He'll respect you more and it will likely speed up the marriage, as he won't be able to have you sexually full time until then. Good luck!
2007-10-20 01:55:53 · answer #3 · answered by rick r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, in 2or 3 years a lot can happen, don`t pluck the apple from the tree before it is ripe. After he proposes, then is the time to make decisions for a wedding or co-habitation. Wait until u get that engagement ring on ur finger, then make ur plans. Ur being curious now may change the way u feel in 3 years. Wait and see how thing progress from now till then.
2007-10-20 03:41:50 · answer #4 · answered by flamingo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend moving in together asap. I'm living with my boyfriend of a year and half now, and we had been talking about engagement for a while. BUT! As soon as we moved in together, you definetly start to see your significant other as for who they really are. This could be a bad thing, but then again, it could be a good thing. Don't you want to REALLY know what you're getting yourself into? I just speak from experience. Getting married is a huge step. Once you two start to live together, then you should decide. Good luck to the both of you.
2007-10-20 02:07:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I moved in with my B/F a yr ago, he proposed back in August we are getting married next September. We have been together for 4yrs it will be 5 when we get married.I believe that living together lets you get to know each other like how you both are and how the each of you live, if you are married or not. Good luck
2007-10-20 02:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by Smiley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't plan a wedding til a year before you will be married. Too many things can change til then.
Don't shackup - leave the specialness of living together til after you are married!
2007-10-20 04:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
helps to prepare. ahead of time so after you get engaged. you guy should wait a 7 months to a year so you can not only plan for your beautiful wedding but you can start look for a place to move into after your married and think on how you will merge your lives together.
2007-10-20 01:50:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's see, waiting for about 2 1/2 years? Well, if you two REALLY, REALLY, REALLY love each other and can wait that long... then, you'll get married. But, that's a long time... a lot can happen in just 2 1/2 years. My husband and I waited for 1 year before we got married. It about drove my sister and brother-in-law nuts (I was living with my sister and her husband until I got married) in that length of time.
2007-10-20 01:54:46 · answer #9 · answered by DotRMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heads up... move in with him now ... moving in with him tells all.. see if you can put up with him because if you cant then you arent going to be able to marry him and live with him for the rest of your life. I am 21 and engaged.. i have been engaged for 3 years already, i am waiting to graduate college to get married, but I already live with him. Just make sure you can put up with the bs. also, its not fun knowing when they are going to propose because it is supposed to be a surprise.
2007-10-20 01:50:16 · answer #10 · answered by Luna 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋