Is there a place to rent a family for my wedding....i am serious...?

Question

I am so serious...i have a large family...but don't want any of them to come to my wedding....read and you'll understand
I told them next year...Sept 21,2008... I am getting married.Everything from...not dressing up to..better have alcohol there was all up in the air. My family is poor, but my new inlaws are not. We have agreed to spend $5000 to get make over and new clothing for everyone. No one wants to do it. They are all over weight...and don;'t care. Not hygenic (embarrased to tell ya that) and refuse to get make up and hair done. My dad refuses to go..if he can't have alcohol, There is so much more,i don't have space or time . They are the most disfunctinal family ever.Younger sister wants money...although i am paying for everything. They all have truck drivers mouths... My to be In-laws are very religious...that wont work. I don;t know what to do...they don't care and i am really set on paying people to stand in. Our families have not really met. So my in laws wont know...

Pleaae don't say i am mean....they never help each other,staels from one enother, and lies about everything. Younger sister say's she'll go is i give her money...and her new BF who just got out of jail.should stand in for a groomsman. They won't Fly, i am getting married in St. Thomas. I don't know what to do. I told them my feeling,and they are the ones who sugested "A family for hire" then laughed...so sad...one year before my wedding...everthing looks horrible already...wht do I do?

I won't elope...His family is so happy, and are already making detailed plans...to make sure it's the most beautiful weddding ever...He's the only son...

sorry about spelling...just so frustrated...

Please don't say i am mean....they never help each other,staels from one enother, and lies about everything. Younger sister say's she'll go is i give her money...and her new BF who just got out of jail.should stand in for a groomsman. They won't Fly, i am getting married in St. Thomas. I don't know what to do. I told them my feeling,and they are the ones who sugested "A family for hire" then laughed...so sad...one year before my wedding...everthing looks horrible already...wht do I do?

I am American, and he is Korean, if I say they wont come...My in-laws may take it personally...and i know it's not the case...i have a very mixed family

Answer 1

I'm sorry about what you're going through. The only thing I can think of is how about asking your fiance how you should handle his family. He knows them best (as you know yours) and should be able to come up with the best way to tell them or if you should choose to make something up, how to tell them w/o hurting their feelings. Ask him what would be the best way to tell his family. Or how about having a wedding with your groom's family and then having a simpler, smaller wedding (finger foods and punch) with yours. Just tell his side that your family, due to expenses won't be able to make it (which is true). Any which way you handle it, please don't hire a fake family, your family may not seem desirable, but they are still your family. Good luck, congratulations, and I have my fingers crossed for you.

Answer 2

Rent A Family

Answer 3

Why do you need to rent a family? Don't lie to your nice new in-laws. That's no way to treat nice (or any other) people.

You are starting a new life. Start out right: Be honest. Thank your new in-laws for footing the bill for your wedding. Tell them that it isn't going to work out for your family to come to the wedding. Tell them that sort of thing isn't very important to your family and that you will be happy enough to have them (the in-laws) for your family at the wedding, too. They may or may not understand, but if they are as nice as you say, they will be happy to incorporate you into their family and let it go at that.

As far as having someone walk you down the aisle, you don't have to have anyone do that. You can walk down alone. Or you could have someone in your new family/friends do that. Ask your new mother-in-law what to do, she will be a good source of information and will probably understand better than you think.

If your own family wants money--perhaps they don't have the money to fly to St Thomas--you can send it or not, as you wish. If they are unkind to you, try to be like your new family: gracious. (Also you already understand that that is just the way they are.) Do not treat them badly. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't exist.

No need to rent a family. That's the nice thing about marrying into a nice family: They become your new family.

Answer 4

Here's my opinion of the situation:

first, let me say i FEEL FOR YOU HONEY! I have friends who have family like this. my family is the opposite, i'm embarassed because they are so snooty and stuck up... they insult everyone who is beneath them. I felt horrible at my cousins wedding, because her grooms family wasnt as...cultured as ours is.

But its because of that wedding, that i can tell you everything will be ok. i have experience (not personal, but i've seen it). Invite your family. They are, after all, your family. You only get one. With it being in st. thomas... theres a pretty decent chance that they wont come anyways. Explain tp (or better yet SHOW) your in-laws that you are not like the rest of your family, but you are still a family oriented person. That you have made efforts to incoperate them into your big day but they are not being supportive. With some luck, this will allow them to accept you even more, on a pity note.

Stick to your guns. You shouldnt have to pay your relatives to support you. You shouldnt have to adjust your big day to accomidate the needs of those who do not have your best interests at heart.

At the very least... turn to your friends. Fill your side of the church with your friends and the people around you who actually support you! or... another option, just dont do the whole bride side/ groom side thing... no one will be the wiser that your family isnt there.

I wish the very best to you. And if you decide that you still want to hire family... if you pay for the airfare/lodging for two... my fiance and i would LOVE to play your cousins :-)

Answer 5

Just invite one or two members of your family, one to walk you down the aisle and the other to keep the one walking you down company later on during the reception. Talk to your mother, she will know what to do. Make her realise that if the wedding takes place without her or a male relative that will work you down the aisle being there, they will never again in their lives see you again after you manage to do the wedding. Make sure she is looking into your eyes and knows you mean every single word.

However if all attempts fail, tell your new in-laws your parents are dead and you were raised in an orphanage, get any male friend of yours or allow the religious head at the wedding to walk you down the aisle. Good luck.

Answer 6

Everyone has drama in their family. Black sheeps, dead beats, confrontational, persnonality disorders, it's all a part of being in a family. What can you do? You can't pick your family.

Simply sit down with them and have a talk. Tell them that you really need their help. Ask them to be on their best behavior, Offer to take them to a salon so they can look their best. Ask them to show up on time. So that you can make a good impression on your groom's family. Tell them that you are only getting married once and it would be nice to have them support you on this special day.

My wife and I realize that some people in our families look for trouble. We had this talk with some choice people so that we can minimize any drama. We simply asked them to be civil. The wedding turned out perfectly.

Remember, even if things go wrong or people behave poorly. Just ignore the matter. Show them that you are only getting married once and the petty little issues are not going to ruin your day.

Congratulations.

Answer 7

Say they won't come and then tell them why! Since they will be your family they should know your family history, just like you told us, complete strangers, here.

Who cares if they are overweight. You shouldn't. That is just mean.

If daddy can't have alcohol, too bad.

You can't control your family's tongues, so don't try.

Invite those in your family that you do want to come, whether they are overweight or not, whether they cuss like a sailor or not. THEY can decide if they want to go or not.

If his family judges you because of YOUR family, then they are not being fair.

I wouldn't rent a family. I'd invite the family and then invite your friends.

I think it IS mean of you that you feel the need to LIE to his family by renting a family. You should be HONEST with them about your family.

Answer 8

This does make for an uncomfortable situation. My advice to you is, don't hire a fill-in family. You don't have to have family there at all... your in-laws will understand your desire but you need to be able to communicate this to them (or else you shouldn't be getting married to their son).

If you're absolutely set on the idea, contact a local theater and talk about your situation with the staff there. They may be able to direct you to some actors who will be able to help.

Please don't do this, though. I'm imagining that if it were me, I would rather be alone with my new family than have a bunch of strangers looming in the memories of what is otherwise the happiest day of my life.

Answer 9

Maybe in stead of hiring someone to walk you down the isle, as your groom is a brother or his father would be willing to do it. If they're really old school and don't want to do it that way, maybe as a good guy friend to walk you down the isle. You want people there that are important to you, not just some random couple you hired. Imagine the wedding photos. "That's me, and that's the grooms brother, and those are the people I hired to be my friends..." As friends to stand in for you instead.

I know this probably sounds a bit mean at the moment, but I really think you'll be happier in the end.

And when your relatives ask for money later after you are married, just tell them that if they wanted to be a part of your life, they should have just come to the wedding.

Answer 10

First of all, I am so, so saddened for you that your family cannot agree to make themselves presentable if you ask them to do so for your wedding day. Forgive me, but they sound horribly selfish to put their own wants ahead of yours, on a day that should be about you.

I would invite your family--the real one, and explain to them that for 1 day, they need to check the potty mouths at the door, take showers, wear clean, respectable clothes, and remain sober. I wouldn't worry about getting hair and makeup done--that's not for everyone, ok? Explain to them that this is YOUR wedding--and you need them to do this for you for YOUR wedding. I would probably go so far as to say they can call this my wedding gift, just to do this for me for 1 day. If they care about you (and like you said, they may not) they'll do it, if not, then you know where they stand. I wouldn't try to "rent" a family, what a cruel thing for them to say to you. Simply explain to your future in laws that your family decided not to come, and leave it at that. Trust me, that statement says VOLUMES. Don't try to deceive your future in laws though--they'll find out, and you'll look pretty bad when they do.

I wish you all the best of luck--I hope your family comes around, but if they don't, then please simply enjoy your wedding day without them! The important people will be there--you and your groom and the person officiating. Everyone else, and I do mean everyone, is icing on the cake. Good luck!